It’s a Beautiful Day for a Dark Wedding

What with Halloween being less than a week away, I thought it was about time we got into the spirit around here and darkened things up just a touch.

While many of us think about it more at Halloween than at other times of the year, the Goth subculture is with us always. And of course where you have a subculture, you have people marrying in it. There are many shades of Goth, so there are nearly as many ways of giving a Goth wedding as there are of giving one that isn’t quite so intentionally dark. Romantics will not be the same as Cyberpunks or Steampunks or Gothic Lolita types. Still, there are similarities as well. And there are some great inspirational photos out there if you dig around, as well as great sources that cater to the dark side.

I found this photo last week when I was looking for spring inspirations, and immediately felt a Goth vibe off of it. Sure the flowers and the tulle are all pink and white, but look at those urns and the pillars they’re standing on. Put some dark red roses or black cala lillies in those displays and tea stain the tulle, and you’ve got an image Poe himself would be proud of! What’s more, it would still look weddingy enough to assuage many a disconcerted relative who doesn’t understand why you don’t just do pink rosebuds for your flowers.

Of course, not everyone is going to tone it down a notch for the relatives, either because they aren’t peacemakers, the relatives have accepted their dark lifestyle, or they’ve decided this is the day to completely be themselves and let the chips fall where they may. If you’re full-on Goth, then I say go ahead and be Goth on your wedding day. It won’t please everyone, but every bride and every groom should be able to look back and see themselves in the wedding. I don’t hold with shock for the sake of pure shock at family-oriented social events, but I do believe in being true to yourself. If small compromises will help those you love accept what you’re doing, then by all means make them…but hold your ground where it matters to you the most.

But it would be hard for most relatives to object if there’s a level of elegance to your day, as exemplified by this cake:

or this ring pillow:

If you want to celebrate your dark side, one of my favorite sources for doing it correctly both in terms of finding the best resources and showing you how to do it without losing sight of a proper regard for others, is Gothic Martha Stewart. From throwing a full-fledged dark wedding to adding darkish touches to a more traditional event, she’s got ideas, resources, and craft projects to help you out. Even if you aren’t looking for advice on celebrating darkness, she’s a fun read, so go check her out.

Whether you choose to lean more toward the dark or the light, the geeky or the elegant, the expected or the un, there’s a way of doing it so that you express yourself and your guests are made comfortable. So don’t be afraid to think about what’s truly going to make you happy. If it’s more to the black and blood red than the pink and white, well, that’s your call to make. Make the right one for you.

4 Responses to “It’s a Beautiful Day for a Dark Wedding”

  1. sterlingspider says:

    Most of my goth friends have gone for more of a “classic, deeply elegant wedding with tweaks” feel then anything really *out there*. You can usually count on a goth wedding to have a slightly dressier groom (typically with a Victorian flair), bold florals (deep red roses and rich fall colors for example), and bridesmaids dresses which compliment/show off tattoos.

    The dance floor fare tends to be a bit different (though generally nicely balanced) and the DJs are more focused on playing the music then announcing the salad. Music tends to be a big focus for goths, so Do Not Play lists are common: the Chicken Dance is rare and the Electric Slide might as well be a dirty word.

    Every goth couple I have known has earnestly discussed hitting a club right after the reception, but so far no one has had the energy to do it. 🙂

  2. Poochie says:

    All I can say is: The guy in the Daily Mail article is 49! That’s scarier than any Goth themed wedding.



  3. Edwardina says:

    I like planning hypothetical weddings. Maybe someday I will end up as a wedding planner, who knows. As the season approaches, I came up with a few different of Halloween-appropriate wedding styles: Haunted Hollywood Glamour, Elegant Gothic, and Jeepers Creepers. The latter is the only one that involves direct references to death/darkness, such as skulls.

    Where Goth is concerned, it is not that challenging to evoke an air of slightly decayed Victorian grandeur. It’s a lot of fun to find ways to incorporate those dark touches. The formality of that style goes very well with the formality of a wedding. And it could be even more fun for those who aren’t concerned about formality at all!

  4. De says:

    When the day hits (which may be never), I know that we’ll have *some* darker elements, but mostly because our humor runs that way. We both are intrigued with the macabre and its a part of who we are. If it wasn’t included somehow it wouldn’t feel like OUR wedding.

    (He has often said he would love to have a full zombie wedding, but I want my wedding pics to look like me, not undead me.)