Archive for November, 2008

Newsflash: Budget, Taste Not the Same Thing

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

I’ve only seen two episodes of WETV’s My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. I don’t think I’ll be watching more. Here’s the description on the official website:

Our all-new original series, My Fair Wedding, brings in a dream team, led by celebrity party planner David Tutera, on behalf of beleaguered friends and family members, to transform what could be a disaster wedding into a platinum style affair.

In other words, this party planner and his team swoop down at the last minute to inform brides that their plans make less sense than Ozzie Osborne attempting to read James Joyce aloud to a roomful of otters on speed, changes everything about the wedding (gown, cake, bridesmaid’s dresses, flowers, catering menu, music, yes, even the location) to make it more tasteful. Possibilities are dangled before the bride, but on her wedding day she wakes up not even knowing where she’s getting married, let alone any of the other minor details. You know, like whether David picked the gown she really loved or one that she didn’t particularly like.

And in the tradition of makeover shows that seriously steam my corn, it appears to be the case that it’s a friend or family member who has ratted out the tasteless bride. I’m fine with shows like Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style where the makeover-ee has personally requested the help and is given tools that will aid her in making more flattering style choices that fit her life and personal tastes. My fury knows no bounds over shows like What Not to Wear and How Do I Look? wherein the person being made over is hijacked into the experience, given little – if any – control over the process, and then released into the wild knowing mostly that she needs to pay more attention to someone else’s sense of style than her own.

Guess which sort of show I think My Fair Wedding more closely resembles?

The thing I think I hate most, though, isn’t the hijacking, the lack of control, or even the ritual humiliation of the silly bride who thinks that it’s possible to plan a wedding by herself because she’s laboring under the sad delusion that women do this every day and hey, it’s not exactly rocket science. Don’t get me wrong. I detest all these things with the flaming fury of a thousand avenging vengeance weasels.

So what annoys me most about My Fair Wedding? You’ll have to follow the cut to find out.

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Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Artistic Edition: The Result

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

Oh how I love the readers of this blog. Last week I inflicted this photo on you all:

and three of you intrepid souls waded in to answer the challenge.

Alas, there can be but one winner and this time that winner is Sarah for coming up with a stupendously tacky version of a legend about the original of this piece of art fitting for the lunchmeat composition and general ‘what have they been smoking’ level of taste evident in what we can see of the affair:

You have to eat the nipples or else they just follow you around the room.

Congratulations, Sarah! And thanks to those who played.

DIY: Weddings Are For the Birds

Friday, November 21st, 2008

For wedding DIY, you can’t beat ink stamps. The end result of dipping a little rubber into a pot of ink can be professional wedding invitations, save-the-date cards, and ceremony programs. I found a wonderful tutorial on the Martha Stewart Crafts web site that demonstrates how to make lovely stationery, seating place cards, and napkin rings for a bird themed wedding (or any other wedding, really).

bird_themed_wedding

The end result is shown above, in a pretty milieu that shows how elegantly pink and white can be paired with a subdued bronzish brown. For instructions, keep reading.

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Yet Another Nintendo Wedding Cake

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

I’m a total sucker for Nintendo wedding cakes, even though my own gaming is limited to weekly sessions of World of Warcraft. I especially like video game wedding cakes that look like they are poised to fall right over, like the Super Mario Galaxy cake I blogged about in July. This time, the wedding cake I’m digging on comes from Oh Chris!, one of my favorite dorknerds ever.

nintendo_wedding_cake

This cake was served at the wedding of Frank and Paige Hackett, two serious gamers who must have a thing for the beach level of Super Mario Galaxy.

The cake’s base is inspired by the beach level in Mario Galaxy; the middle layer (just underneath the castle) is a kind of spiral bas-relief drawing on the scenery in the Super Mario Brothers worlds; and the massive castle at the top, Frank says that came from a phony screenshot back when people were talking about the “Nintendo Revolution” as the third-gen console.

I’m guessing there are some serious dowels in there, because the castle looks as heavy as it does delicious.

Congrats, Frank and Paige!

Nothing Burps Like Your Wedding Favors

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

A few months back, I noticed that everyone I know seems to be obsessed with bacon. In the recent holiday gift issue of New York Magazine — which I began receiving for free about two years ago for some bizarre reason — plenty of their holiday poll respondents mentioned bacon as the perfect holiday prezzie. I don’t get it. Even before I stopped eating meat, I’d always choose sausage over bacon. To each their own, I suppose.

If you are a true bacon aficionado and looking for a perfect (perfectly dreadful?) wedding favor that highlights your interests, how about giving your wedding guests maple bacon lollipops to take home after the reception?

bacon_candy

Okay, I just shuddered thinking about it. I’d much rather have one of Lollyphile‘s wasabi ginger pops, though I’ll pass on the absinthe flavor. Of course, there is no one wedding favor that will please all of your guests. I do wonder, however, whether bacon sweets like the aforementioned lollies, bacon jelly beans, and bacon cookies will delight even half your wedding guests.

How Much For That Gown?

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

It’s time for a guessing game.

silk_chiffon_wedding_gown

I want to know how much you think this open backed, sized-to-order silk chiffon wedding dress costs. It could be $5,000…it could be $500. I don’t have a lot of details other than that it is available in white or black, it’s tight fitting, and it comes with a short bustle, though I do know how much it costs. If you can’t even begin to guess how much the above wedding dress costs, answer me this: How much do you think is should cost?

(the answer — no peeking!)

Ring Cushions and Flower Baskets By Muscari

Monday, November 17th, 2008

Flower girl baskets and ring bearer pillows…baskets and ring pillows…when it comes right down to it, there aren’t that many options out there for the non-DIYer. It’s not that there aren’t cool crafters making awesome wedding accessories, rather it’s that the mass-produced generic ceremony accessories get so much more play than the one-of-a-kind stuff.

That just means you have to look a little harder if you want your wedding ceremony accessories to stand out. EasterYu is on Etsy and Muscari, fighting the good fight by creating unique flower girl baskets and ring cushions out of birch wood, seashells, artificial moss, miniature birds, and velvet.

ring_bearer_pillows

flower_girl_basket

Hint hint: She also makes fabulous boutonniƩres and lovely hair pins created from beautiful feather flowers.

Prices for everything from baskets to boutonniĆ©res range from $7 to $50, and you can’t beat that!