Comments on: Do I Really Need That: the Bridal Attendant Edition

By: Twistie

Twistie — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:29:10 +0000

Fenny and Groomswench, that’s what it’s all about: good friends standing up to support the people they love in the most important moments of their lives. You guys, and your guy friends and their ladies, are all superfantastic!

By: Groomswench

Groomswench — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:11:01 +0000

When my HS best friend got married 2 years ago, he asked me to be his- as he so lovingly and eloquently put it- “groomswench”.

I donned a very nice black suit (woohoo, no nylons!) and stood by him as he married his first (and only.ever.) wife.

People would ask me why I wasn’t standing up with the bride. I had not even met her until the week of the wedding. J and I had been friends for 17 years, why wouldn’t I stand up for him?

I went to Vegas with the boys for the bachelor party and even planned the second bachelor party 2 days before the event.

It was great fun and I would gladly agree to stand up for him again.

By: Fenny

Fenny — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 01:40:04 +0000

At the last two hitching ceremonies I’ve been to, I was the “Best Man”. This all came about because of a night out in a curry house with the happy couple to be. Four of us were enjoying our dinner when Beth & Steve said that when they were finally free to tie the knot, they fancied going on a South Sea cruise and being married by the captain. I like boats, so I invited myself along. Nevilley asked Beth if he could be the bridesmaid, so Steve looked at me and said I’d better be his Best Man, then. A few months later, I got an email from Beth saying “Steve says are you still OK for BM duties, we’re not going to sea!”

The following year, Nevilley & his young lady got hitched and he asked me to be the Best Man.

Both ceremonies were small, simple, low budget and all round happy.

By: Pencils

Pencils — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:46:45 +0000

When I got married last year at the age of 40, my friends all said, “Congratulations, and we’ll be there, but don’t expect me to be a bridesmaid.” And I didn’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to be a bridesmaid at this age. I liked the idea of having our families be part of the ceremony–we both come from fairly small families–so my bridesmaids were my young nieces (who loved the chance to dress up and wear a tiara!), the flowergirl was my husband’s only niece, my stepson was the best man, and our siblings held the chuppah poles, with my nephew standing in for my sister, busy as the MoH. My other nephew was the ringbearer. Every member of our immediate families were in the wedding party! It made it very special, that we were joining our families together, not just ourselves.

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:01:00 +0000

A Family Tale! When my brother got married, his bride-to-be, a perfectly nice woman whom none of us really knew – at all – asked my sister to be a bridesmaid, because she felt obligated. My sister, another perfectly nice woman, accepted – because she felt obligated. This entailed my sister the agoraphobic making several long-distance trips by car to attend events where she knew NO ONE, spent money she couldn’t afford on various gifts and clothing for various “festivities”, etc. I declined the invitation, because I was making the bride’s dress (I offered freely). I worked my ass off, including an unscheduled, UNPAID week off work in order to finish the gown, and I think I got the better deal (I also did a reading, which was fine). The bride also had friends who were acting as bridesmaids; she really didn’t need to have us fill out the ranks.

There has to be a better way than this to deal with what is supposed to be a happy occasion.

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:53:20 +0000

Melinda: It’s a pity that the sisters weren’t Groomsmaids rather than Bridesmaids. They were close to the GROOM, not the bride, and the bride was obviously Not Happy at having to do the “correct” thing.

Which sucks. Where is it written that wanting=having? In the weddings of unhappy brides and grooms, apparently. Nothing like a little touch of residual resentment to tint the memories of the wedding!

By: Melinda Ledbetter

Melinda Ledbetter — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:35:18 +0000

In this day and age, attendants are nice but sometimes more of a hassle then expected. My best friend married a man with three sisters. All three wanted to be in the wedding but she also wanted her best friends. She chose her fiance’s sisters but it killed her inside.

By: De

De — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:36:54 +0000

For our lovely, laidback event coming this fall, neither of us is going to have any sort of attendant.

This concept confuses and seemingly frightens my mother, but she’ll just have to adjust …

By: dr nic

dr nic — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 02:18:42 +0000

The most recent wedding I participated it (where I was the MOH) we had a bridesmaid who had issues with the show up in the dress the bride picked out thing. She was nearly kicked out of the wedding by the bride (which would have been especially awkward since her husband was the best man) for all of the issues she caused.

By: jstar

jstar — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 02:04:56 +0000

In MA if you get married by a JP you don’t need any witnesses. Perfect for our clandestine wedding a year to the day before our wedding.
In our ‘public’ wedding we will not have any bridal party. We found it was too hard to narrow it. down. We wanted half of our 75 guests to be involved, so we are opting for a Quaker style wedding instead (I am sort of Quaker). This means we don’t need a bridal party or readers etc. but anyone and everyone is allowed to stand and speak in the silence after we exchange vows.
Just further proof that a wedding can take many forms, and that what is important is not the formalities, but the relationship between two people.