The gorgeous (and thrifty) Gwen wrote:
My fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding, end of story. For various reasons, we’re not getting any help from parents. We don’t have a lot of savings. And we’re not the kind of people you read about in wedding magazines whose idea of budgeting is choosing the California Estate Osetra over the Asetra caviar. I don’t feel comfortable saying how much we have to spend, but we’re looking for creative budget wedding ideas. Anyway, I read an article at Simple Dollar that suggested we put “vendor cards” on the reception tables in exchange for reduced rates. My fiancé thinks it’s a great idea. I’m not so sure.
I can see how at first glance this might seem like a solid money saving idea. I really can. Celebrities strut their stuff for the photogs at parties sponsored by everything from car companies to mouthwash manufacturers. We’re used to hearing that our favorite television special was brought to us by company X and product Y. More often than not nowadays, the coffee sleeves that protect us from the heat of our lattes are splashed with ads… and sometimes even free samples. Advertising is everywhere, and we are all, for the most part, somewhat desensitized to it.
But Gwen, your wedding is not a Nascar race.
I’m not suggesting that you’ll festoon your wedding gown with sponsor patches a la Danica Patrick’s jump suit, but putting vendor cards on each reception table is almost as bad. Trust me when I say that if someone is so enamored with your cake or your veil, they will ask you where it came from. If no one asks, you can be fairly sure that no one is particularly interested. Your guests may even find the presence of vendor cards (i.e., advertising) at your wedding intrusive and tasteless.
You may be surprised to hear that I have attended wedding receptions where vendors’ cards are placed prominently on tables and the favors have ad tags attached. These wedding receptions are more commonly known as wedding expos, and while they are great fun when one can score gratis tickets, they don’t exactly put me in a warm fuzzy mood. When I’m wolfing down plates of free finger foods and wondering when they’ll bring out the coffee, I’m also hyper aware that I’m being advertised at. There’s nothing wrong with advertising, of course, but I do like to keep it in context. Ads on a billboard in Times Square? Fine. Ads at my place setting at a wedding reception? No thank you.
At the end of the day, Gwen, the choice is yours. But ask yourself this question: Do I really want my wedding to look (or worse yet feel) more like a wedding expo? If your answer is “Absolutely not,” do everyone a favor and skip the sponsors. There are plenty of other real-world budget wedding tips you can use to cut costs when you’re planning a wedding.
I couldn’t have said it better NtB.
A-freaking-men, NtB!
There are dozens of better ways to save money through careful excising of items that don’t mean a lot to the bride or the groom, DIY projects, getting help from talented friends, and careful comparison shopping for real bargains. Trust me, you can have a beautiful, fun, and completely dignified wedding on even a tiny shoestring budget. On the other hand, it doesn’t matter if you’re getting a grand, glitzy wedding for putting out those cards because people will remember and resent the advertising long after they forget that those cards allowed you to carry a more elaborate bouquet and serve a nicer cake.
Allowing advertisements at your weddng may save you some money, but creativity is far more effective, much more fun, and much less likely to offend others or make you feel uncomfortable with the results.
Where do people get these ideas? I went to an Easter sunrise service on the beach years ago (to a friend’s church) and was appalled when after the service, people were handing out iced tea and coupons next to a table stating that the service had been sponsored by the tea company. Could you get more tacky?
Even in the Simple Dollar article Gwen mentions, the commenters were pretty down on this vendor card idea. Among other things, one commenter who works bridal expos pointed out that everyone who comes through tries to negotiate some sort of discount, often in a similar way.
That said, I don’t see anything wrong with negotiating with vendors. We did it once, and truthfully — basically saying, “I love everything about your work and you deserve every penny of your usual fees. But we can’t quite afford your usual fees, and thought it couldn’t hurt to ask….?” In that case, the vendor let us book ahead for our 2008 wedding at her 2007 rates. And we did certainly spread the word about her talents (among friends and fellow brides, not at the reception!), but because we genuinely loved her, and not as “tit for tat” in return for the discount.
There’s nothing at all wrong with asking vendors for lower prices or whether they can make a package less expensive, Tara, and I hope my post didn’t imply that there is. Like it or not, wedding vendors are out to make as much money as they can… and many brides- and grooms-to-be only have so much money to spend. I always tell people that they should ask for whatever deals they think are appropriate. The worst thing a vendor can say is “No, I’m sorry but I don’t offer discounts,” and in many cases, the vendor will offer some kind of counter-deal to sweeten the original quoted price. You can’t really lose!
Apparently listing the sponsors on the invitation is expected on a Filipino wedding invitation. However, these are usually people well known to the engaged, not vendors.
mkb: That strikes me as being akin to western wedding invitation wording (that lists the hosts, albeit in the context of said invitation) or having a thank you page in a wedding program.
And really, aside from the tackiness question, do you really want the primary impression your guests take away from the reception to be, “Huh, I guess they couldn’t afford that stuff”?