Comments on: Keep the YOU in YOUR Wedding http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/ Manolo Loves the Brides! Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:59:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Stephanie http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-446209 Stephanie Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:49:52 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-446209 My parents were married in the 80s and looking at pictures I can tell that may parents followed quite a few of societies expectations. My mom had hair down to her waist (she always did though) and wore a long while gown with train and sleeves. They were married in a church and had a small and simple reception. However, my mom wore her hair down, making it longer than her veil. My dad wore a white tux instead of a black one (he doesn't like the way black looks on him) and their first dance as a married couple was, and I kid you not, skinny marinky dinky doo. Growing up I always laughed and thought it was awesome that my parents did something so different. I plan when I get married to skip the cake (no one eats it anyway) and do cookies instead. I refuse to walk down the aisle to 'here comes the bride' instead I'll be playing 'Sweet Child of Mine' by Guns and Roses. How's that for staying true to yourself ;) My parents were married in the 80s and looking at pictures I can tell that may parents followed quite a few of societies expectations. My mom had hair down to her waist (she always did though) and wore a long while gown with train and sleeves. They were married in a church and had a small and simple reception.

However, my mom wore her hair down, making it longer than her veil. My dad wore a white tux instead of a black one (he doesn’t like the way black looks on him) and their first dance as a married couple was, and I kid you not, skinny marinky dinky doo. Growing up I always laughed and thought it was awesome that my parents did something so different.

I plan when I get married to skip the cake (no one eats it anyway) and do cookies instead. I refuse to walk down the aisle to ‘here comes the bride’ instead I’ll be playing ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ by Guns and Roses. How’s that for staying true to yourself ;)

]]> By: Twistie http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-293933 Twistie Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:58:47 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-293933 JR, I'm absolutely with La Bella Donna on this one. If the only way to get financing from family for a wedding is to have a celebration that entirely fails to reflect the bride and groom, it's much better to wait, save up, and self-finance. OTOH, I've seen several lovely weddings happen at Renaissance Faires. It's a way to save money, it's good publicity for the faire, and it might well be the perfect way for your friends to have the wedding they want. I wish them nothing but the best. JR, I’m absolutely with La Bella Donna on this one. If the only way to get financing from family for a wedding is to have a celebration that entirely fails to reflect the bride and groom, it’s much better to wait, save up, and self-finance.

OTOH, I’ve seen several lovely weddings happen at Renaissance Faires. It’s a way to save money, it’s good publicity for the faire, and it might well be the perfect way for your friends to have the wedding they want. I wish them nothing but the best.

]]> By: La BellaDonna http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-293878 La BellaDonna Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:07:31 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-293878 <b>JR,</b> autonomy is the very best reason for a bride and groom to pay for their own wedding. I paid for mine; it never occurred to me, honestly, that anyone else would. Good thing, too, because no one else offered! It's better to wait, and do-it-yourself, then star in someone else's show. I loved the church where I got married, in my Cavalier-style wedding, but that was many years ago, and I would also love a Ren Faire wedding. If I were in your friend's position, I'd rather hold out for an extra year, do it right, and do it myself, than forego what I want in order for someone else, parents or no, to pay for what THEY want. They had their turn. As long as your friend and her husband to be pay the piper, they can call the tune - and they can actually HAVE a piper! JR, autonomy is the very best reason for a bride and groom to pay for their own wedding. I paid for mine; it never occurred to me, honestly, that anyone else would. Good thing, too, because no one else offered! It’s better to wait, and do-it-yourself, then star in someone else’s show. I loved the church where I got married, in my Cavalier-style wedding, but that was many years ago, and I would also love a Ren Faire wedding. If I were in your friend’s position, I’d rather hold out for an extra year, do it right, and do it myself, than forego what I want in order for someone else, parents or no, to pay for what THEY want. They had their turn. As long as your friend and her husband to be pay the piper, they can call the tune – and they can actually HAVE a piper!

]]> By: tim http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292929 tim Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:40:38 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292929 It’s great to remember who your wedding is for…and that person is you. Stick to a style and theme that suites your needs and that will make you happy on your wedding day. It’s a day of celebration and a time to really enjoy all that is taking place, as well as being able to share the moment with all of your family and friends. You want to remember it as the best day of your life….so just do your thang and plan a wedding that’s right for you! It’s great to remember who your wedding is for…and that person is you.

Stick to a style and theme that suites your needs and that will make you happy on your wedding day. It’s a day of celebration and a time to really enjoy all that is taking place, as well as being able to share the moment with all of your family and friends. You want to remember it as the best day of your life….so just do your thang and plan a wedding that’s right for you!

]]> By: JR http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292712 JR Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:11:58 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292712 My friend is currently dealing with a similar problem regarding her upcoming wedding. She and her fiance love Renaissance fairs. She wants to wear a Renfair style dress for her wedding with her fiance in his kilt. Her parents have refused to help pay for the wedding if she won't agree to wear a traditional wedding dress with the groom in a tux. They are currently looking into making a deal with the local Renfair to have their wedding during the next season, but they aren't sure if they'll be able to come up with the money on their own. (Groom's parents aren't able to help financially.) My friend is currently dealing with a similar problem regarding her upcoming wedding. She and her fiance love Renaissance fairs. She wants to wear a Renfair style dress for her wedding with her fiance in his kilt. Her parents have refused to help pay for the wedding if she won’t agree to wear a traditional wedding dress with the groom in a tux.

They are currently looking into making a deal with the local Renfair to have their wedding during the next season, but they aren’t sure if they’ll be able to come up with the money on their own. (Groom’s parents aren’t able to help financially.)

]]> By: Nat http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292493 Nat Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:19:04 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292493 Hey I'm wearing a red kimono for my wedding, and i must say my family has been pretty good about. My mum is being really supportive about it because she didnt get to do what she wanted for her wedding. But whenever i tell people I'm wearing a red kimono they ask"why". Why? Because i look good in red and i think kimonos are so beautiful. Some are works of art. Hey I’m wearing a red kimono for my wedding, and i must say my family has been pretty good about. My mum is being really supportive about it because she didnt get to do what she wanted for her wedding. But whenever i tell people I’m wearing a red kimono they ask”why”. Why? Because i look good in red and i think kimonos are so beautiful. Some are works of art.

]]> By: Stephanie http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292393 Stephanie Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:27:29 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292393 We had a gluten-free dinner and cake. My brother and I both have to eat gluten-free, and catered events usually screw up our "special meals." My own wedding was one event where I didn't want the meal screwed up. Our caterer was great, we shopped around until we found someone who knew exactly what gluten was. The food was so fantastic that no one noticed it was all gluten-free. The one thing some people thought was absolutely "wrong" was to serve milk to drink with the flourless chocolate cake. But we like milk with chocolate cake, plus there was coffee and the bar was still open. No one was forced to drink milk, and many people really appreciated it. We had a gluten-free dinner and cake. My brother and I both have to eat gluten-free, and catered events usually screw up our “special meals.” My own wedding was one event where I didn’t want the meal screwed up. Our caterer was great, we shopped around until we found someone who knew exactly what gluten was. The food was so fantastic that no one noticed it was all gluten-free.

The one thing some people thought was absolutely “wrong” was to serve milk to drink with the flourless chocolate cake. But we like milk with chocolate cake, plus there was coffee and the bar was still open. No one was forced to drink milk, and many people really appreciated it.

]]> By: Never teh Bride http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292072 Never teh Bride Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:00:40 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292072 blablover5: What a weird thing to skip a wedding over! Unless that side of your family is made up of the sorts of Christians who eschew all holidays (Halloween being one in this part of the world) I have to wonder why a Halloween reception would be such a big deal. casablancabride: Oh, how terrible! And this out of the mouth of a man of the cloth! Personally, I think henna is lovely. Twistie: I like to tell people that diamonds, as far as I've been led to believe, are not actually forever. It may take billions of years, but they will eventually degrade into graphite, i.e., pencil "lead." daisyj: I see where you're coming from, but I certainly hope that no one reading the post would think X could refer to something outside of the range of good manners. We're pretty obsessive about that sort of thing here! I will say, however, that while the formation of a marriage partnership is certainly a serious business, not everyone treats it as a solemn one. Some people are more whimsical than others :-) When it comes to etiquette-appropriate wedding silliness, there's always the chance that one or two guests might be made uncomfortable by it (where "it" is a cake shaped like the Empire State Building or an electric purple wedding gown or an Elvis impersonator officiant)... well, you can't please everyone. Toni: That's why it's so important to decide what you like and why. I say one can't be huffy if one draws a reaction no matter what one chooses (traditional or non or some mix of both) because critical people will always find something to criticize. La BellaDonna: Hear, hear! (Though I would definitely sequester the durian cake. Whoa, stinky!) Melissa B.: It just struck me that if you're worried that people will think you're weird because you want to do X at your wedding, all those people probably already think you're pretty darn weird. Even if you don't let your freak flag fly all that often, the important people in your life likely know all about your sci-fi/roleplaying/ren-fair/fire spinning/Jell-O obsession! blablover5: What a weird thing to skip a wedding over! Unless that side of your family is made up of the sorts of Christians who eschew all holidays (Halloween being one in this part of the world) I have to wonder why a Halloween reception would be such a big deal.

casablancabride: Oh, how terrible! And this out of the mouth of a man of the cloth! Personally, I think henna is lovely.

Twistie: I like to tell people that diamonds, as far as I’ve been led to believe, are not actually forever. It may take billions of years, but they will eventually degrade into graphite, i.e., pencil “lead.”

daisyj: I see where you’re coming from, but I certainly hope that no one reading the post would think X could refer to something outside of the range of good manners. We’re pretty obsessive about that sort of thing here! I will say, however, that while the formation of a marriage partnership is certainly a serious business, not everyone treats it as a solemn one. Some people are more whimsical than others :-) When it comes to etiquette-appropriate wedding silliness, there’s always the chance that one or two guests might be made uncomfortable by it (where “it” is a cake shaped like the Empire State Building or an electric purple wedding gown or an Elvis impersonator officiant)… well, you can’t please everyone.

Toni: That’s why it’s so important to decide what you like and why. I say one can’t be huffy if one draws a reaction no matter what one chooses (traditional or non or some mix of both) because critical people will always find something to criticize.

La BellaDonna: Hear, hear! (Though I would definitely sequester the durian cake. Whoa, stinky!)

Melissa B.: It just struck me that if you’re worried that people will think you’re weird because you want to do X at your wedding, all those people probably already think you’re pretty darn weird. Even if you don’t let your freak flag fly all that often, the important people in your life likely know all about your sci-fi/roleplaying/ren-fair/fire spinning/Jell-O obsession!

]]> By: Melissa B. http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292043 Melissa B. Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:19:22 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292043 I think the trick is to distinguish between things that will make your guests unhappy or uncomfortable (such as, say, not renting enough chairs so you can afford a Vera Wang gown) and things that might just seem a little odd to people. If you're not doing X because you think X will make people enjoy your wedding less, that's a valid consideration. But if you're not doing X because you think people will laugh at you or think you're weird ... well, so what if they do? (And why bother inviting those people?) For the love of all things cute and fluffy, though, if you're going to get married in a hot tub full of Jell-O, warn your officiant ahead of time. I think the trick is to distinguish between things that will make your guests unhappy or uncomfortable (such as, say, not renting enough chairs so you can afford a Vera Wang gown) and things that might just seem a little odd to people. If you’re not doing X because you think X will make people enjoy your wedding less, that’s a valid consideration. But if you’re not doing X because you think people will laugh at you or think you’re weird … well, so what if they do? (And why bother inviting those people?)

For the love of all things cute and fluffy, though, if you’re going to get married in a hot tub full of Jell-O, warn your officiant ahead of time.

]]> By: La BellaDonna http://manolobrides.com/2008/12/17/keep-the-you-in-your-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-292021 La BellaDonna Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:46:23 +0000 http://manolobrides.com/?p=2003#comment-292021 I am very grateful to my family, who had NO problem with dressing up for mine - the only regret was that I didn't have time to make my Dad's outfit, and he had to rent! As long as no one's at hazard from your choices, surely if they care enough to come to your wedding, they have some appreciation for the quirks that make you who you are? Silver frogs, henna, dressing up, special calendar days - if it's a celebration for individuals, let there be individuality in the celebration! As long as there's another cake in addition to the durian one, why shouldn't there be a durian cake (under a smell forcefield, apparently). I get really distressed on behalf of the bride and/or groom who says wistfully, "I really wanted .... but ...." If not for your wedding, when CAN you celebrate in a way which reflects you? I am very grateful to my family, who had NO problem with dressing up for mine – the only regret was that I didn’t have time to make my Dad’s outfit, and he had to rent!

As long as no one’s at hazard from your choices, surely if they care enough to come to your wedding, they have some appreciation for the quirks that make you who you are? Silver frogs, henna, dressing up, special calendar days – if it’s a celebration for individuals, let there be individuality in the celebration! As long as there’s another cake in addition to the durian one, why shouldn’t there be a durian cake (under a smell forcefield, apparently). I get really distressed on behalf of the bride and/or groom who says wistfully, “I really wanted …. but ….”

If not for your wedding, when CAN you celebrate in a way which reflects you?

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