I’m Thinking About Weddings! Women Always Are!

The WE channel comes up quite a lot here at Manolo for the Brides. How can it not, when it sometimes feels like the entire network has been forcefully stuffed into a too-small wedding gown for our amusement? The point is, shows like Rich Bride Poor Bride and Bridezillas wouldn’t exist if no one was watching them.

Now, I don’t know about you, but the appeal for me has always been something akin to nuptial schadenfreude. I can look at the screaming brides and pat myself on the back because, hey, I’m not them! And I wasn’t them! And I’ll never be them, whew.

Sarah Haskins created a Target: Women that addresses this issue so much better than I ever could… you know, because I don’t have a video camera and an editing team backing me up. Bridezilla versus Momm-Ra? “Yeah, wide load, you better get it through your obese head that you’re too fat to get married.”

I recommend watching all the way through because the ending is the best part. Enjoy!

12 Responses to “I’m Thinking About Weddings! Women Always Are!”

  1. casablancabride January 12, 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    That was fantastic. I heart Sarah Haskins. Sometimes I really wish I had cable television (hello Daily Show!) but seeing shows like Bulging Brides (I had no idea this show existed until today) makes me not sad at all. I can’t believe some of the crap the wedding industry has thrown on women and that there are women who are actually like the girls in the clip. I thought getting married was supposed to be about marrying someone you love…

  2. Twistie January 12, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    So much of what she said sounds just like the soundtrack in my head when I watch those shows.

    Oh, Sarah Haskins, how I love thee!

  3. blablover5 January 12, 2009 at 3:24 pm #

    Have you seen her new diet one? I put it up on my blog. Too funny. And it’s scary how Richard SImmons hasn’t aged at all.

  4. mini_pixie January 12, 2009 at 6:14 pm #

    I also <3 Sarah Haskins, she’s so right on. The funniest part was when she called it an “aisle of shame” – Oh, wait, that’s what they REALLY CALLED IT ON THE SHOW. Ridiculous.

    Can I just say my favorite part of the intro is when the lady says “Underpants”? Slays me every time.

  5. Never teh Bride January 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    casablancabride: The wedding about solemnizing a marriage? As if! (At least to most of the brides who appear on those shows.) As for the supposedly “bulging brides,” I, like Sarah Haskins, look very much like the scary image of the future. I have more bulges in one butt cheek than some of the brides on that show.

    Twistie: Isn’t she just the best?

    blablover5: I did, I did! And it’s true — he looks exactly like he looked in the Sweating to the Oldies III video I had in high school. It’s a little creepy, actually.

    mini_pixie: On the topic of underpants, can I just say ME, TOO? I think I’ve watched just about every Target: Women so I could hear that.

  6. Melissa B. January 12, 2009 at 7:47 pm #

    OK, now I kind of want to see that episode of “Bulging Brides,” mostly because I find the idea that this particular woman is “bulging” completely hilarious and I want to see if everyone involved actually keeps a straight face during the “Aisle of Shame” segment. I also want to see if the bride pops that smug trainer one right on the nose.

    I hadn’t heard of Sarah Harkins before her clip started popping up on wedding blogs, but count me as a fan!

  7. Twistie January 12, 2009 at 9:17 pm #

    Trust me, Melissa B., you don’t want to sit through Bulging Brides. Everyone is dead serious about how ‘fat’ these women are when the problem is that the gowns are too damn small.

    You could have fit at least two of the women on that show into me when I got married, and I can tell you right here and now that I looked HAWT!

  8. Dee January 13, 2009 at 3:43 am #

    I think you are thinking like sukrat.

  9. Diana January 13, 2009 at 11:29 am #

    That’s really funny. I never watch any of those shows because they just make me wan to judge people, or get really angry at how stupid they’re being.

  10. class-factotum January 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm #

    Not only are the bulging brides not bulging, but all it takes to solve their problem is to cut out the peanut-butter cheese cracker snack at 3:00 and four workouts a week.

    Please. If it were that simple to become un-bulged, I’d look like Angelina.

    Well, not really, but I’d have her skinny toothpick arms.

  11. Never teh Bride January 14, 2009 at 6:38 pm #

    I think I’d take my arms over Angelina’s arms, class-factotum. Hers are all stringy looking when she’s carrying anything. I wouldn’t mind being shaped like the rest of her, however. Not that it would ever happen, no matter how many personal trainers and professional shamers were hovering over me.

  12. class-factotum January 15, 2009 at 3:19 am #

    NTB, that’s why I get so annoyed when these starlets say brightly that they work out four! times a week! And rilly, rilly watch what they eat!

    I work out more than 4x/week, but I don’t look anything like them. OK, I eat, but even when I am not eating, I do not look like them. A huge huge chunk of it is luck of the genetic draw. No matter what I do (short of surgery), I will never have boobs, a tiny waist, and a hiney that isn’t saggy.