The Best Day of Your Life? Maybe, Maybe Not
It’s a common conception that your wedding day will be the best day of your life. This is your day. This is the one time when you will be utterly in the spotlight on your own terms. This is when you will prove that you truly are Cinderella and you are marrying your Prince Charming. I even have vivid memories of a woman on Bridezillas throwing fits because she decided at the last moment she didn’t like her rehearsal dinner dress as much as she thought she would and carrying on about how ‘this is the one day in my life when I’m supposed to be happy!’ which is taking the theme waaaaaayyyyyy over the top, if you ask me.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: chances are your wedding day will be a wonderful day that you enjoy a great deal…but there will be other wonderful days and sometime one of them may well be better. It may not, but it could be.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
My wedding day definitely ranks well up among my best days. The weather was gorgeous, Mr. Twistie was handsome, the food and music were getting raves, most of the people we loved were with us, and we had a great time.
On the other hand, there are other days that vie for the title. There was the day Mr. Twistie’s first album came out. There was the day I found myself standing in the Poet’s Corner in Westminster Abbey looking at the plaque for Anthony Trollope – arguably my favorite novelist of all time. There was the first time I heard Placido Domingo sing live…and there was the second time I heard him sing live. There was the day I finally overcame my shyness about singing in public and belted out White Rabbit for a stunned audience for the first time. There was the day when Mr. Twistie had his bypass surgery…not so much the surgery or the waiting, but when I knew the surgery had been successful and he would be okay.
I’m not telling you all this to make you think less of your wedding day or to make you think it doesn’t matter. This is more a case of reassuring you that life doesn’t end the moment that ring slips on your finger, and that if things go wrong at your wedding it’s not the end of the world – even yours. Once you realize that other days will be just as good, you can relax a little and enjoy the day you do have. Make the most of it and see whether or not it winds up as your best day. Either way, it’s all good.
Classic tactic of the WIC, because it legitimizes sparing no expense and all reason. But what’s more offensive to me is how they’ve now expanded this mindset to capture the prom set. I feel sorry for the person who maxes out at prom!
I had a friend who not only claimed her day, she managed to try to claim the entire year as her year (the wedding was in autumn) and how dare another friend have problems in March that may overshadow her wedding plans. Sadly, I don’t think the wedding lived up to her expectations. It was lovely, but she was stressed and panicked and angry.
My wedding day was great- it was a wonderful day, but there are definitely other days that are right up there with it. I would be really upset to think that “the happiest day of my life” was already behind me.
serenitynow78, I’m beyond thrilled that my prom wasn’t the highlight of my life! It’s been nearly thirty years and frankly, while there were some nice moments, prom was more or less a bust for me. Nobody should put their best time behind them at seventeen or eighteen. Heck! Id be unhappy if I’d topped out at thirty when I got married.
Sarah, that’s the worst thing about the myth of ‘one perfect day.’ It loads so much extra stress onto the bride that no matter how nice the day is, she can’t relax and enjoy it. I would have hated to have put that much effort into a single day only to find myself too stressed and panicked to have a good time at my own party.
This was great. I’ve been having a ridiculously difficult time finding readings related to weddings that don’t describe it as a “day”, or a “beginning”… I’m choosing to think of it instead of a great celebration of everything we ALREADY have. And if things go wrong? Will I be disappointed? Of course. But at the end of the day we already HAD all the great things we wanted from getting married, so as long as the papers are signed, I’m happy!
And honestly? Why would you want to start a life with someone thinking “It’s all downhill from here!” ? I had a wonderful day, and BUNCHES of things went wrong – including all the buttons popping off the groom’s trousers! The rotten things had been fine ALL SUMMER: trousers on, trousers off, trousers on, trousers off, etc. But not on the wedding day! And I thought my hoops were falling off as I walked back down the aisle (they weren’t; they were being crushed inward by the weight of the dress). And my siblings, God bless them, stayed and talked to my new husband for HOURS – and I went to bed. The next day I made French toast for about twenty people.
The wedding should only be, with luck, a happy start to a life together – not “a fairytale come true.” Think about Grimm’s Fairytales for a minute; do you really want them to come true?!
My husband and I were just discussing this (on our honeymoon, no less!) and while our wedding really did turn out as perfectly as it could have, and we both had an amazing day, we agreed that it wasn’t necessarily the best day of our lives. It was a great day, and we’ll remember it forever, but I’m looking forward to having lots of best days together, not just the one.