Planning a wedding is arguably one of the most time-consuming responsibilities one can take on. Yes, a wedding is at its heart just a really big party, but most brides- and grooms-to-be have never had to put together an event budget, vet and hire vendors, track down color coordinated party gear, and wrangle party VIPS while also trying to stay on top of work and spend time with friends, family, and their SOs. Now maybe it’s just me, but the thought of adding extra to dos or expenses to the bride’s plate sets my teeth on edge.
What you see above is a bridesmaid letter. This is not to be confused with a heartfelt note asking the special people in your life to stand by your side when you say your wedding vows. Rather, this is an overview of all of your wedding details, from the color of the bridesmaid dresses to a description of the wedding cake. Bridesmaid letters may also include lists of duties the bride would like her bridesmaids to take on or lists of bridesmaid “don’ts.” This particular bridesmaid letter took much more work than sending a card, creating an e-mail list, or setting up a wedding planning blog would have.
I’m not against bridesmaid letters, of course — bridesmaids who are in the know are less stressed out than those who aren’t. I’m likewise not against detailed and extravagant bridesmaid letters. What does drive me nuts, however, is the idea that the bride who does not go above and beyond the call of duty (by, say, designing a fancy bridesmaid letter) is shirking her prenuptial responsibilities. That said, I almost hope that bridesmaid letters like the one above don’t become the next must-have wedding accessory. In much the same way that save-the-date cards with their niche usefulness have become a common piece of stationery, I could see bridesmaid letters going from functional for some to necessary for all.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that brides and grooms shouldn’t feel compelled to spend their time or their money on X, Y, or Z because another couple did or because a particular wedding accessory has become popular. If something matters to YOU — be it creating a beautiful DIY bridesmaid letter or finding the perfect bridal shoes — then put your all into it, but if you catch yourself doing or buying something because the media or someone on a bridal message board says your special day will be less special without it, it’s time to reconsider your priorities.