I’m not going to get into a huge debate over feminist politics because this isn’t the forum for it. I will, however, say that the definition of feminism is simply that of believing that women should be treated as full human beings legally. We disagree on a lot of political issues, too. We come from every political party, as well as every color in the rainbow. We made it possible for women to debate the relative intelligence/silliness of changing our names when we marry.

And you’re welcome, Karol.

Valenti’s whole patriarchy complaint is sort of ridiculous (taking her mom’s last name? I mean, HONESTLY). It doesn’t make you stronger as a woman to reject your husband’s name.

When someone actually calls them on it, a lot of bullies will try to slither out of responsibility for their behaviour by claiming “it’s just a joke” or “nobody takes it seriously!” That’s the excuse bullies often use to deflect the disapproval they richly merit.

Kathryn Jean Lopez threw verbal rocks at someone who is, as far as I can tell, a complete stranger to her. To add insult to injury, nine-tenths of what she “wrote” was lifted directly from Ms. Valenti. I think if you’re going to steal someone else’s work and present yourself as a “columnist,” you should either be more respectful of the source material or write your own damned column.

First of all, I really cannot stand my husband’s parents, not the least because they told him two weeks before our wedding that they weren’t coming and he shouldn’t marry me. No, this wasn’t a surprise — this has been their attitude all along. But then, yeah — this has been my name for 44 years and it was a lot harder than I thought to give it up. I continue to use it when I identify myself and only use my husband’s last name when I sign official documents. And it was a PAIN IN THE NECK to change it legally.

As far as the NRO post goes, I’m puzzled by this Kathryn Lopez person — she just reposted what Valenti wrote as though it were so obviously ridiculous as to need no comment. I didn’t see anything ridiculous in what Valenti wrote. Clearly I’m not on the same wavelength. Not sure I want to be, frankly, if what SerenityNow said is true.

And Bitter, I have to disagree about bridezilla being a term used all in fun these days — I’ve seen it used in extremely nasty and negative ways on various message boards and blogs, for such sins as wanting the caterer to return their calls, wanting to walk down the aisle alone, and being disappointed when the best man flakes out and doesn’t show up for the rehearsal. Sometimes it’s just a joke, but sometimes it’s designed to hurt the bride or bully them into doing things someone else’s way. I absolutely got the vibe that Ms. Lopez was using it in the non-fun sense.

If we did, my comments would never need to be moderated.