Whose Decision?

The other day, my good friend and compatriot, Fabrisse, brought something hideous to my attention. It’s an upcoming reality show on the CW charmingly entitled ‘Hitched or Ditched.’

Yes, it’s more or less what you would expect: a couple is ‘nominated’ by a fiend…er, friend or relative. Said Nosy Parker has decided that the couple in question is taking too long to march to the altar and needs to be hurried up. The show then badgers the couple, I mean offers them an ultimatum: plan and carry out your dreams for a wedding in one week while subjecting yourself to a series of (most likely extremely humiliating) public personalized tests designed to ‘help’ the couple decide whether they are truly ready to marry. At the end of the week, in the midst of all the pomp and circumstance of their dream wedding, they must decide at the altar whether to marry in that instant, or go their separate ways forever.

Yeah. No pressure there.

Okay, I could barely tolerate this concept in theory if the demand for instant lifelong commitment came from one member of the couple. I would still consider the whole thing manipulative and skeevy in the extreme, but at least I could see some small excuse.

My biggest problem is with the fact that the couple is nominated (read: publicly shamed) into this circus by someone who isn’t one of them. There may be an issue involved that a third party isn’t aware of. After all, pretty much nobody around me and Mr. Twistie had any idea why we waited seven years to get married. There were reasons, and they were good ones, but we didn’t feel like sharing them with the world. I’ve even known couples who adore one another but have realized that sharing a roof and a checking account and a kitchen just isn’t for them.

The fact is, each couple is different. They have to take their relationship at the pace their priorities, circumstances, and needs dictate. It wasn’t anyone else’s decision when it was right for me and Mr. Twistie to marry; it was ours. We made that decision when we were good and ready. You should do the same.

Remember, you and your significant other are the ones having the relationship. You need to tailor it to you. And yes, that includes deciding for yourselves when (or whether) you’re ready to get married.

8 Responses to “Whose Decision?”

  1. un-bride says:

    What a totally digusting show. Since when is being married an appropriate “prize” from a game show?

  2. Abbie says:

    Yikes! That sounds awful. J and I have waited nearly 7 years and are getting married this summer. Everyone meddling was really getting to us because we felt like we always had to justify why we weren’t married yet. I can’t imagine doing that on television!

  3. Twistie says:

    @ un-bride: Since never, if you ask me.

    @ Abbie: You don’t need to justify your personal timeline to anyone. It irks me beyond expression that not only some network executive, but a bunch of meddling busy bodies think anyone does. I shall certainly not add to the ratings of this show.

  4. Tara says:

    I don’t get it. Even if “nominated” and ambushed, what prevents the couples from just walking away? There must be some financial incentive in it for them, I’m guessing?

  5. Melissa B. says:

    Yeah, I’m with Tara. How on earth do they plan to enforce the “break up now” half of the ultimatum, should the couple decide that it’s not the right time for marriage? Ick. This is worse than “Bulging Brides.”

  6. Twistie says:

    @ Tara: I’m sure goods and services are provided for the couple (and the manufacturers/designers get product placement announcements for nearly free publicity) to give them a dream wedding of a currently fashionable sort. That – along with an over-developed desire to please a friend or family member and the people with the television cameras – is probably an incentive to at least some.

    As for me, if someone had nominated me and Mr. Twistie for a show like this, not only would I have refused to participate, one name would have been removed from our eventual guest list.

    @ Melissa B.: At least the ‘Bulging Brides’ appear to nominate themselves. It’s Self-loathing at its most disturbing, but at least it’s their decision to make themselves ridiculous in public.

  7. La BellaDonna says:

    I’m just … speechless. File this one under “Jaw-dropping Horror,” please.

  8. Twistie says:

    Already done, La Bella Donna!