Uh Oh, You’re On the Clock!
Apparently the tradition of husband hunting is alive and well, at least in Japan. More than a few of you sent me links to a Reuters story (that also appeared on Jezebel) about a relatively new trend called kon-katsu or kekkon-katsudo,which translates literally as “marriage hunting.”
Kon-katsu is all about pursuing marriage strategically, much in the same way one might pursue a job. And of course, when you’re pursuing anything actively, you’ve got to have the right tools. Triumph International, maker of the solar, postal and chopstick bras, apparently has the one tool unmarried Japanese chicks really need: A crazy-ass countdown clock bra!
This so-called novelty bra “features an electronic nuptial timepiece, putting women seeking spouses literally on the clock. If an engagement ring is inserted into the mechanism, the countdown stops and the bra plays Felix Mendelssohn’s “The Wedding March.” The bra also includes holders for the traditional seal some people use to sign off contracts and a pen for any possible nuptial agreement.”
I do wonder what will happen when the countdown stops and no ring has been inserted into the bra. Does it self-destruct? Is the wearer immediately transported to a convent? Are you forced to marry that nice, but extremely short middle manager who’s the son of one of your mom’s bridge buddies? I think this is the kind of thing bride wannabes need to know before they decide to wear this bra.
Seems kind of bulky to wear, too, what with the pouch and the countdown clock, etc. I would think that men wishing not to be hunted would quickly figure out the tell-tale bulge while men who are not as desperation-savvy would assume the lady is deformed in some way.
Not a practical item, is it?
Plus there is that niggling question of what happens if time runs out, or if the ring chosen doesn’t fit comfortably into the slot, for that matter. Not all engagement rings have slender bands, after all.
Oh, and side note: kon-katsu sounds an awful lot like tonkatsu, one of Mr. Twistie’s favorite meals. That’s a breaded, fried pork cutlet. Always be certain to pronounce the one you mean carefully so as not to confuse the listener between a ridiculous act of matrimonial desperation and a tasty yet artery-clogging treat.
Ah, tonkatsu, I remember you fondly. Were I not a vegetarian, I’d be fried porkchop hunting right about now.
Do we need special bras for the event?
Does it count the karats and reject any ring deemed insufficient?
.
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Also, I’m seeing the potential for an action/comedy/romance thing here:
“Her biological clock. . . was hooked up to a ticking time bomb! Would he be able to get to her slot in time to save them all?”
Porkchop bras!
daisyj: Ahahaha, you’re naughty.