Um…
youbuyMYWEDDING offers a unique service where you can invite your wedding guests to help by paying money for your wedding day expenses instead of buying items from a more traditional gift list – which helps you to have a wedding you can afford and also to avoid starting married life in debt.
Ahahaha, this is a joke site, right? With a name like youbuyMYWEDDING, it has to be satire… Or not. Brides and grooms are supposedly getting older and older, which means that everyone you know who’s getting married probably already has a toaster oven and a spatula set. What they might not have is $30,000 to pay for what is now considered a moderately-priced wedding.
Don’t you just love it when entrepreneurs come up with shady solutions to problems that aren’t really problems*? As you can see, brides and grooms in the UK (who are willing to let 4.75% of their gifts go to administrative costs) can ask their loved ones to contribute to their weddings by paying for things like the wedding gown, the bridesmaids’ bouquets, or the very champagne they’ll drink at the wedding reception. It’s just like a honeymoon registry in almost every respect, except that it’ll make everyone on your guest list look at you a bit funny.
On the surface it sounds very practical and modern and even a little progressive in these woeful economic times, but lordy, it’s not at all in keeping with good etiquette. Were I to receive an invitation to a wedding that I was being asked to pay for, I would give the bride and groom the gift of an RSVP card reading “Declines With Regrets.” That’s just as good as ponying up some cash for the cash bar, after all, because the couple then has one less mouth to feed!
*Don’t have a ton of money to spend on your wedding? Budget wedding tips abound here and elsewhere on the Internet!
(cries and cries)
It’s simple, people: YOU DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND THAT YOUR GUESTS PAY FOR THE PARTY YOU ARE THROWING FOR THEIR BENEFIT!!!!
Throw the celebration you can afford. You’ll be just as married.
It’s generous and kind if someone offers to provide a service or pay for goods for your wedding. It’s another thing entirely to register for your wedding gown and champagne.
I’m with NtB. I would graciously decline, send a card, and know that my “gift” of not being present saved them catering and rental costs.
In fairness, I understand that in some cultures, it is expected that wedding guests will “gift” the couple with enough money to cover their meals (usually around $50 per person) in lieu of other wedding gifts. But I’ve never heard of a cultural tradition that says guests should foot the bill for the wedding gown, tuxedos, or the flowers!
Tomorrow night, I am going out to dinner with some friends. We will all pay for our own food because it is just a casual get-together; no one is the host and no one is the guest. If I had invited these friends over for a party, I would have bought food and drink sufficient to entertain them and appropriate to my budget. I would have also paid for the clothes I was wearing and any decorations in the house. Why do people keep trying to find excuses for why a wedding is any different from any other kind of hospitality?
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
I’m tired of crying. I’m tipping over into “annoyed”.
You want to get married? There are lots and lots of thrifty ways to marry someone you love – you may not even need City Hall, if you have a friend who’s a licensed minister of your religion of choice (including on-line).
Oh, you mean you want to THROW A BIG PARTY?? By all means! Have fun! Throw the biggest party you can afford! The catch is, YOU have to be able to afford it – NOT THE GUESTS.
If what you REALLY wanted was to get married – well, that could be done for a very few dollars. Go up to the beginning of this comment, and read it again.
It’s ridiculous. To me, someone who doesn’t understand that not having enough money to throw an elaborate wedding means you can’t have an elaborate wedding, is too immature to get married.