Manolo for the Brides

It’s a hot morning already, and that puts me in mind of how to beat the heat at weddings. What? Didn’t you realize I’m pretty much always thinking about weddings? The fact that it’s my job is just a happy coincidence.

Anyway, if your wedding is going to take place in the warmer months, it’s important to take that into consideration in your plans. Of course, it does work the other way, too. After all, just a couple weeks ago I saw a woman on Bridezillas insist on having an outdoor wedding and a strapless gown in December…and she didn’t live below the equator! Not Smart on an epic level.

But today I’m talking about heat. If you plan to marry in warm weather, make sure you look after not only your own comfort, but that of your guests. If marrying indoors, double check that there is a functioning air conditioning system. Ask to hear it in action, so you know whether or not it’s going to drown out the ceremony.

If marrying outdoors, consider supplying hand-held fans and/or complimentary sunscreen to your guests. Think about having the bridesmaids carry parasols instead of bouquets. Encourage festive sunhats. Oh, and consider having the men in light linen suits instead of dark, heavy tuxes. Avoid heavy satins and lots of layers for the ladies. Light fabrics like organza, eyelet, and linen are your friends. Don’t bother with gloves unless they’re very lightweight. Wear strappy sandals and show off your best pedicure.

Indoors or out, make very sure there are plenty of non-alcoholic beverages. Alcohol dehydrates the body, and so does heat. The combination means that liquor hits faster and harder. Keep everyone well hydrated. If you’ve got a big barrel of lemonade, an Italian soda bar, or waiters circulating with glasses of ice water as well as champagne, that should make it enticing to guests.

Avoid heavy foods with thick sauces, but make sure there’s plenty to go around. Appetites are sometimes fussy in hot weather. Fewer things seem appealing, but we need to eat just the same. Oh, and safety first: make sure that cold foods are being kept sufficiently cold. You don’t want guests going home with food poisoning!

A little thought can go a long way toward keeping your (and your guests’) cool in hot weather. And that can go a long way toward creating a day your friends and family will remember fondly for years to come.

Once you’re officially engaged, it can be a bit daunting to know what to do next. Suddenly a lot of people want to know a lot of details. If you haven’t decided on them before announcing the engagement, well, you might feel a bit at sea. Friends and relatives – even ones with the best possible intentions – can begin to seriously stress you out with conflicting advice.

So what to do now? How to take the reins?

Sometimes a good place to start is by figuring out what you don’t want. It’s surprising how few of the expected trappings of weddings are actually required, either legally or spiritually. So if you’re not wild about white, you don’t have to wear it, and if you have no interest in identical bridesmaids’ dresses, you can tell them to pick their own (hint: do give some sort of guidance lest you wind up with a situation like the one I saw once where the MOH decided to express her contempt for her sister’s wedding by wearing a slinky black jumpsuit with lots of decorative zippers and the highest heels I’ve seen not worn by a ‘working girl’). You can decide that your ‘theme’ is just ‘wedding.’ Cake is an option for dessert, but not required.

Once you know what you don’t like, though, you find that you’ve got even more options than you realized at first. Don’t panic. This is where you start to winnow down those options by figuring out what you do like, and what you do want, and what really is indispensable to you and your intended.

Try sitting down and thinking about how you want people to feel at your wedding. Do you want them to be wowed by your surprises? Impressed by your elegant taste? Relaxed by your simple hospitality? Amused by your whimsy? There pretty much isn’t a wrong answer here. This is your wedding, and it should reflect your priorities. Just make sure your intended is happy with the same feeling, because it’s not just your wedding.

Knowing how you want people to feel automatically sheds inappropriate options. If you want an unexpected spectacle, you necessarily have to either reject or adapt all the expected trappings. If you’re going for traditional pomp and circumstance, then you’re not even going to look at the latest trendy accessories. If you want an informal, relaxed atmosphere, why on earth would you bother with a sit down dinner with lobster and caviar?

Just start with the overall feel, and you’ll be amazed how easily your eye starts gravitating towards ideas that fit that feel. Things that don’t fit will be quickly identified and easily rejected.

As with finding the love of your life, feelings are the best place to begin.