Cute, But Maybe Not Right For the Job

There was a visible pseudotrend a while back that had moms and dads (and moms and moms and dads and dads) waiting to get married until their little one(s) were born. I call it a pseudotrend because I think plenty of people get married after having kids for a variety of reasons (health insurance, issues with school, circumstance, etc.), but the idea just kind of crawled into the public consciousness only fairly recently — thanks, celebrities! I’m kind of a traditional girl myself, but I figure that people get married when they want, why they want, and that’s okay by me.

The result of the pseudotrend in my social circle was the appearance of tiny, tiny flower girls and ring bearers. I’m talking about flower girls and ring bearers only just able to walk. You’d watch them sort of wander down the aisle and wonder if they’d make it. Would they lose their already shaky grip on the tools of their trade?

If you decided to reverse the usual order of things and got kids out of the way before tying the knot, think carefully before including your itty-bitty little guy or gal in the wedding party. Some very young tots find being stared at by rows and rows of grown-up people quite disconcerting — many a toddling flower girl and ring bearer has made tracks in the opposite direction rather than walk down the aisle unassisted. For those brides and grooms who simply must include a baby or toddler, I’d advise having someone familiar to the kid carry them down the aisle, perhaps one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen. Or not. The middle ground involves giving your son or daughter (or baby nieces, nephews, and such) a title and a symbolic role. You dress them up, include them in the photos, and parade them around, but they don’t actually have to do anything other than sit around and look cute… something I know from experience that babies are very, very good at!