Brides and grooms with all of the money in the world don’t have to worry about wasting money. A wedding gown or reception venue that costs $10,000 is no different than one that costs $1,000. Money, simply put, is not an issue. Lucky them, right? The rest of us have to plan our weddings within the confines of some kind of wedding budget, whether we have $2500 or $25,000 to spend.
What that means is that most brides and grooms are forced, to some extent, to prioritize when choosing wedding vendors or supplies. There is no “I want it all!” because the money just isn’t there, and (one hopes) financing the wedding on credit isn’t an option. Sure, there are the must-haves, like a top notch photographer or a really fine reception meal, that couples choose based on their personal preferences, but affording one or two luxuries usually means identifying other areas of the wedding where cutbacks can be made.
To do that, it’s a good idea to think in terms of matrimonial money-wasters. Like I said about, if you’re flush, there’s no such thing as a waste of cash, but if economizing here and there is your goal, there are definite money dumps that can be easily avoided. For example:
- Stationery: We know that e-invites are gauche, so there’s no getting out of sending a proper paper wedding invitation, but do you really need save-the-date cards, pricey engraving, tissue paper inserts and inner envelopes in your invitations, and custom printed maps? Probably not.
- Food: As elegant as a fancy sit-down dinner can be, less expensive buffet-style meals allow you to serve a larger variety of main dishes and sides. Guests tend to like buffets because they can take as much as they want of exactly what they want. Then there are the endless appetizers, the dessert bars, and the event-long open bars with top shelf liquors, all of which are unnecessary.
- Favors: Brides and grooms are not obligated to give wedding favors to their guests, and half the time guests leave them for the post-reception clean-up crew to deal with. This is a *great* place to save some cash.
- Attire: A $1,500 wedding gown you’ll wear once? Puleeze. Take a tip from the groom and rent a designer gown instead of buying something off the rack. Better yet, check out the formals section of your local department store or (like I did) buy your gown online or find a seamstress to make a gown for you.
And these only represent the tip of the iceberg! It’s easy to burn through a wedding budget on unnecessarily overpriced floral arrangements (a great place to DIY), bridal jewelry and accessories (shop secondhand or borrow ’em), wedding cake (substitute sheet cake or some other dessert), reception entertainment (iPod wedding!), wedding album packages (another easy DIY project), and so on. Remember that if your wedding priorities fall into any of these areas, then all bets are off. But if sticking to your wedding budget is your ultimate goal — other than getting married, of course — the main wedding money-wasters are a great place to start when it comes time to make those cutbacks.
I’ve decided that if I ever get married I will first by a lovely pair of designer shoes – Loboutin, Manolos, maybe even something designed by the tiny little gnome himself. Once that cost has been figured, we’ll see if we need to save with buffet, thrift-store dress, family-digital-photog, grocery-store sheet cake, Reverend-of-the-internets, etc. If the budget is $1000, sorry, guests, you’re getting evites and McDonald’s. But my feet will look FABULOUS!
…of course, this is why i will probably never marry…
When we got married, we prioritised where we wanted to spend money, then cut costs in other areas. The big, big expense was the venue, but it was perfect and worth every penny.
We got ‘mate’s rates’ from a photographer we know and my wedding dress was £150 from Oxfam bridal (well worth checking out for the budget conscious in the UK).
We did have favours but bought the individual elements from a wholesaler (net, almond, ribbon), and my mum made them for me.
Also look out for local small business who can often do the cake, invitations etc much more cost effectively than bigger businesses.
So, we did a charity donation for $150 in place of favors. We printed little scrolls telling guests that a donation in their name had been given to the charity and included cute relevant quotes about food, the charity was in support of ending hunger.
It saved us several hundred dollars, did something good for our community, and was totally in our budget.
I also made all of our chair bows and other “irrelevant” decorations. My girlfriends came over one weekend and all the bows, table toppers, and other related stuffs were completed in two days with much hilarity. Total cost $200.
Much like Claire,
The Fiance and I sat down and listed what our priorities were, and thus where our money would go. We decided that we cared more about the reception/celebration, and that we wanted good food and for the memories to last. So we are spending the most money on catering, then photography, and then…well, the rest.
Doing this has really really cut down on stress for us :D.
Let’s see…we entirely avoided rental cars; had the men wear formalwear they already owned (all of them already had something, and we didn’t care whether it matched); bypassed the bridal salon (custom wedding gown made by a good friend, bridesmaids were given fabric and patterns and told to find their own trims…only one out of five didn’t sew, but she has a good friend who is a professional seamstress. Oh, and I got all the fabric through wholesale to the public sources, so it was incredibly inexpensive); self-catered; did our own minimal flowers (in a redwood grove, fancy florals are coals to Newcastle. A few flowers, a bit of florist’s tape, a couple corsage pins, some pretty ribbon, and we were ready to go); made our own favors – mostly because I love Jordan almonds, if it hadn’t been for that, we wouldn’t have had favors at all – out of tulle, ribbon, and the aforesaid Jordan almonds. We limited alcohol to champagne and beer. A friend acted as our barman. Linen? We were out in the woods. Paper napkins and plates were easier, more practical, and less expensive. We were broker than two church mice on public assistance. We used paper.I bought the invitations on a great sale. They came with double envelopes, but they were still cheaper than making my own and so pretty that I fell in love with them at first sight. My MOH and I hand addressed them in one evening. Calligraphy? Maybe if I’d had a lot of money to spare. I didn’t. I made my own writing as nice as I could possibly manage.
On top of all that, I used accessories (including shoes) that I already owned. So did the bridesmaids. Okay, I think one of them went out and got herself a new pair of shoes, but I didn’t ask it of her. No stylist, no make up artist. No required manicures/pedicures. Oh, and the only reason we had an aisle runner was because some family friends who had recently married off their daughter offered us one free. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered.
What did we spend the money on? Well, we did hire an officiant, but he didn’t cost that much – especially when you note the added value that since his surname was ‘Odin’ we consider ourselves to have been married by the top man in the ancient Norse pantheon. We rented one site that served for both ceremony and reception. It cost less than some people I knew had paid for a reception hall and was just what I’d always dreamed of. We hired a professional photographer we knew. His rates were extremely reasonable, and the photos are fantastic. What’s more, he had this really great way of blending into backgrounds, so he caught people really being themselves at the party. We hired a live band. Again, we knew them. They cut us a small deal, but would still have fit in our budget if they hadn’t given us the buddy discount, and I was well prepared to pay more on that one. While we saved a bundle on a professional caterer, we in no way skimped on the food. It was simple, but hearty, flavorful, and abundant.
People still tell us that was one great wedding. I think we chose wisely about where to scrimp and where to splurge.
I managed to have a beautiful and colourful wedding, and spent about a thousand dollars total. Man, I did a lot of sewing, though. But historical weddings are like that.
Leah, if you truly want a pair of designer shoes, why don’t you just buy them (i.e., “save for them”) now … and then wear them with your dress, if you ever get married? That way, even if you don’t get married, at least you’ll have the shoes. I don’t know where you live, but I do know that these days, even on Rodeo Drive, shoestores have been having huuuuuge sales on shoes: shoes that retail for over $800, selling for less than cost at under $300. Plus there’s Ebay, sales at pricey department stores … And if your wish is simply for a pair of beautiful, beautiful shoes, you can have them made for you for not a big bundle of money. You can have some beautiful shoes made for you in the fabric/leather of your choice for $180.00 at Fugawee.com: http://www.fugawee.com/Women's%20Colonial.htm
Now, the styles that Fugawee offer may not be to your taste … but there are a LOT of small vendors of custom, or customizable, shoes out on Teh Innernets.
I just don’t think you should have to wait for your wedding to have something that you truly want (other than a groom).
Oh, this is just for Leah:
Jimmy Choo is designing shoes for H&M, and they’re being released on November 14, 2009.
Happy hunting!