The Element of Surprise?

We get a lot of press releases here at Manolo for the Brides. I mean A LOT of press releases, which is why my inbox is always getting wicked backed up and I am way tardy in answering some reader e-mails. Some of the press releases I receive are appropriately wedding related, while others are kind of pushing the wedding angle just because, hey, weddings are a cash cow.


For example, I just received a release informing me that Microsoft Office Live offers “free online tools that can help a bride get organized and stay connected to family and friends during the planning process.” These include a wedding web site, a place to upload wedding details to share with vendors and venues, and a repository for ideas. That’s useful enough, I guess, but what interested me was the justification for needing to use Microsoft Office Live versus, say, Blogger or one of the upteenbillion other free site hosting services.

A new trend that’s emerging is brides who are sharing their wedding details with their bridal party via social networking sites. Sharon Naylor, wedding expert and author of 35 wedding books, says this is not only inefficient, but it ruins the surprise element for guests who have read endless status updates about the coral dresses, the catering plans, etc.

Now I don’t know about you, but I was eager to share my wedding deets with anyone willing to humor me for five minutes to two hours. My wedding gown? It’s gold! My reception venue? My gram’s backyard in Merritt Island, FL! I’d spill the beans about anything and everything because I was proud of my choices. By the time the wedding rolled around, the only thing that was even remotely a secret was my dress, and it was only a secret from The Beard. It never even struck me to want to spring my wedding color scheme or my wedding shoes on unsuspecting guests.

Am I alone in this? You tell me!

(img via — check it out for a different kind of wedding surprise!)

4 Responses to “The Element of Surprise?”

  1. Twistie says:

    Maybe I’m missing something, but aren’t guests usually clued in to some of these questions (color scheme, location, theme elements, etc.) via invitations? And wouldn’t they have to go on your social networking site to learn every passing thought you’d had about coral gowns?

    Besides, even if you’re dishing about the wedding on Facebook or another social networking site, isn’t it up to you how much you prefer to reveal even in that setting? I mean, there’s no law that says that just because you’re passing some information to some people that way that you’re obligated to share anything you do wish to keep secret.

    As for keeping things secret, well, my wedding was held long before MySpace and Facebook existed. Would I have used them if they had? I kind of doubt it. I’m not a big social networking site kind of gal. Was anything about the wedding a big secret from anyone? Nope. Mr. Twistie got to spend a lot more hours than he probably wanted watching me make the wedding lace, and I’d long ago shown him the picture of the gown I wanted mine based on. He didn’t remember what it looked like, but I didn’t even keep that a secret. He even stood there while I opened the package with the fabrics being used when they arrived via UPS.

    Anyone who needed to know anything got regular updates from me, anyone else who asked a simple ‘how’s the wedding planning going’ was likely to hear more than they were interested in knowing, and anyone who didn’t ask…didn’t hear. After all, I wanted to have other subjects of conversation going aside from the wedding.

  2. Blossom says:

    I’m not kepping secrets but i’m not dishing either. If someone asks about the wedding I’ll answer the question but not in very big detail mainly because i’m sick of people saying things like, “why are you wearing a red kimono and not white?” Umm because my fave colour is red and i have wanted to wear a kimono ever since a watched memoirs of a geisha. I even had an aunt ask if i was going to make my eyes slanty to match my kimono and then snicker behind her hand. So yeah i dont say much anymore.

  3. Twistie: Topics of conversations other than weddings? I don’t know what you’re talking about! I kid, I kid. In fact, I did my best not to bring up the topic of weddings unless asked when planning my own for fear of being perceived as some kind of bridezilla.

    Blossom: Ack, I’m sorry people are being so vocal about their opinions regarding your choices! I’ve said it here on the pink plenty of times: If you don’t like someone’s wedding choices (or baby name choices or shoe choices), then zip it unless there is a real potential for bodily harm or emotional injury. Wearing a kimono? Dressing in red? Does not qualify! And is, in fact, awesome.

  4. Well, I’m using my blog to let out my fit to bursting excitement of ideas! Certain general things such as colours are fair game but the details, I will spend hours deliberating over that no-one but me will care about, are not.

    Also, I have three close friends marrying just before me I want my day to be different and I quite enjoy the fact they have no idea about my blog and all my ideas.