Quick Countdown to a Wedding

To read most literature on wedding planning, it can seem that what you’re about to undertake is every bit as complex as a major military engagement. Most magazines and books assume you’re going to spend at least a year putting it all together.

You may well do that, too. You could even be like me and take a great deal longer. I started my plans about nineteen months out. Then again, I had a lot of lace to make for a gown that was going to take a very long time to produce.

But what if you don’t have a year or more? What if you need to move more quickly because of the health of an important family member, a military deployment, the concern that those little feet that are about to start pattering be born into an established marriage, or a simple desire to get past the wedding and on to the marriage? What happens when you decide that two or three months is as long as you’ve got to plan?

The first thing to do once you’ve decided to marry quickly is to refuse to panic. The second thing is to hit the ground running to find any vendors you may need and sites you require. Yes, churches and halls and florists and photographers do book far in advance. Your first choice may not be open to you. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a pretty setting or nice photos. It just means you’ll need to be more flexible about your choices. Consider an off-time that might not be filled already. Sundays and weeknights aren’t as popular as saturdays. You may be able to get your first choices if you go for a friday night wedding, assuming the timing works for family and friends.

Think about alternative options for items that often take a long time, like your wedding gown and bridesmaids’ dresses. Bridal salons can take six months or more to deliver your gown. If you don’t have that long, consider a sample from a previous season (if you can fit in it) or a formal dress from a department store that you can take home as soon as you pay for it. Borrow from a friend, whip something up for yourself, or have an heirloom gown altered for you.

Recognize that some vendors will charge for the short lead time you are giving them. Others may be willing to negotiate a lower price in order to fill a void in their schedules. In general, vendors dealing mostly in goods (bakers, caterers, florists) will need more cash because they need to order those goods in a hurry. Vendors dealing more with time slots (photographers, site owners, DJs) are more likely to be willing to wheel and deal a bit. Don’t be afraid to ask for a deal…but don’t automatically expect one.

Remember to schedule time for you. Even when you have a lot of time to get it done, wedding planning can kind of take over your life. Chop the timeline down to less than half, and it can feel as though you don’t dare take a breath that doesn’t involve a decision about tulle or cake. At times like that it becomes even more important to find space to nurture your relationship both with your intended and with yourself. So take a bubble bath, go to the movies with your honey, or take a walk by yourself.

Get friends and family involved. This is an all hands on deck thing. Ask your mother to take care of decorations for the hall or get your brother to design and print invitations on his home computer. Send your father out to research champagne prices or your best friend to pick her own bridesmaid dress. Give them clear direction, and then be zen about what they choose.

Keep the big picture in mind. Never forget why you’re getting married, and why you’re doing it quickly. You’re in love and you want to be married. Bask in it. Enjoy the ride.

A wedding can take as long to plan as you choose to make it. It can also be put together on nearly a moments’ notice, if need be. Whichever way you choose to do it is the right way…for you.