Comments on: Just About the Only Way a Wedding Is Truly Ruined

By: claire

claire — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 09:10:32 +0000

My wedding reception was a bit of a disaster, I do not get on well with my husbands brother and his longstanding girlfriend. During the cousrse of the day the girlfriend had lots to drink. My sister said she drank a full bottle of champange at the meal in the afternoon as well as two large glasses of wine.
By the evening reception she was can we say well oiled. Just after the first dance it was pointed out to me she was causing a scene with my husbands mother and brother, the brother and girlfriend were getting rather agressive with my new mother in law, the security were watching them and I could hear they wanted to eject them both. Because I knew this would upset my new hubby I went and asked them to stop and not row at my wedding. The girlfriend by this time was so drunk she was unable to focus her eyes properly. she started to lash me with a tirade of verbal abuse called me a bad mother amongst other things and we got a little heated. it ended in her throwing a full half pint of spirits and cordial all over my lovley gown. Obviously after this they were forcably removed from the reception and caused an aggressive scene outside with security. After that my guests started toleave and I felt totally humilliated in front of my family.
Two weeks after the wedding I am still heartbroken and really angry with the bitter old crone who ruined my day. I really hope the bad memories fade in time and leave me to enjoy the few happy ones I have of my day..

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:41:10 +0000

There were a number of frustrations and disappointments involved in my wedding, and I have to say, none of them made me think, “My wedding is ruined!” One area of stress was the groom’s family: His mother was unable to come, because her husband was in the hospital. Well, duh! She was sorry, but of course they couldn’t be there! His brother was unable to come, because his wife was in the hospital – they thought her appendix had burst, but it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy, so she was not only in the hospital, she’d been gutted like a tuna. Of course they couldn’t be there! My grandparents didn’t come. More distressing were people we expected to come, who didn’t let us know they weren’t coming. They were local, and I would have appreciated a phone call. (No, they weren’t in the hospital; they just didn’t come, to the disappointment of at least one of the invited daughters.) My Dad’s outfit doesn’t look great in the photos, and maybe I’ll photoshop one of the pictures some day (I made bunches of outfits for the wedding, and didn’t have time to make his, so there’s guilt complicating that one.); all the buttons – ALL the many, many, tiny pearl-headed buttons popped off their little metal stems as my fiance started getting dressed (stupid buttons, they stayed on throughout months of trying on!), and that didn’t ruin the wedding. I had one maid of honor go berserk and walk off, and her replacement didn’t do anything except make my life more difficult, and that didn’t ruin the wedding. I didn’t get an engagement ring, and I wanted one (I didn’t get one because the groom was superstitious); that didn’t ruin the wedding either.

Maybe I just had low expectations. If so, I’m grateful, because it seems to me that unrealistically heightened expectations seem to set the stage for disappointment. Now Dena’s friend, she had good reason for her distress. I have to say I do absolutely agree with 7nina, though: for the vendors or other parties who breach a contract involved with a wedding? They should absolutely be prosecuted, because those contracts exist for a reason!

All that said? I love the white kitty perched on Mommy’s dress! Since Mommy is standing on a nice field of gravel, she seems to have a pretty laid-back attitude towards a few smudges on the dress, so I don’t think a paw-print or two detracted from her happiness. And at least the fur matched her dress!

By: Toni

Toni — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:48:29 +0000

A cousin was getting married in the Mormon church, and as the rest of us are not of that faith (and therefore couldn't even attend the ceremony), they decided to have the wedding in Salt Lake City, and then a separate reception down here in Florida. The reception was to be held at the beach, but an impending hurricane kept the bride and groom from even showing up, and forced the rest of us to evacuate inland. During our caravan to the nearest major town, we were alerted to the fact that the bride's grandmother (my great aunt) had become very ill, and was in the hospital. The whole family rushed to her side, and she ended up passing away the next day. We ended up "redoing" the entire reception the following year at the family reunion, and my mom and I provided 60 cupcakes and photography, another videotaped, and other relatives provided music with their guitars. It was a lovely time.

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:12:02 +0000

That may be the saddest wedding story I’ve ever heard, Dena. How terrible it must have been for all involved.

By: Dena

Dena — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:27:45 +0000

My parents went to the wedding of their friends’ daughter, and the father of the bride had to be rushed to the hospital in middle of the dancing. He died that night. Now if anyone thinks that the wrong colored flowers “ruined” their wedding, they should think about how THIS bride felt!!

By: Never teh Bride

Never teh Bride — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:25:51 +0000

Pencils: I’m so glad to hear that your flowers worked out, but that’s still a shame about the people who couldn’t come. I think there were one or two important people in my life who couldn’t make it, but I did my best not to dwell, much like yourself.

7nina: I can’t disagree with her suing over a breach of contract, but I do hope that the whole legal rigmarole hasn’t colored her perception of her wedding day. I know that there are negative things I’ve held onto that were probably not as bad as having all the flowers wrong. If she’s lucky, she won’t look back on what should have been a special day and remember all the hassles.

By: 7nina

7nina — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:39:37 +0000

Aside from the feelings though, it’s also a business deal between you and your vendors. She had a contract with them, and paid them money for something she did not get. If she has a contract, then she has every reason to sue-and I don’t just think it’s about the feelings. Sometimes you have to sue to make things right. There’s a difference between having things not be perfect and not getting a contract-a legal document-fulfilled. Punitive damages for hurt, however, which i have seen brides try and sue for, are another matter. Just suck it up. But with regards to a contract, I don’t blame her for sueing, and would do it myself.

By: Pencils

Pencils — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:03:37 +0000

I got very stressed out right before my wedding when I started getting phone calls that guests weren’t coming. We had small guest list of about 70 people, so several people not coming was a big deal. First my best and oldest friend couldn’t fly in because of an emergency. Then my boss ripped open her stitches from a very recent surgery. Then my cousin called and said she had been in a car accident, and couldn’t come or bring my elderly aunt (no one was hurt but the car was totaled.) I was very upset, but I quickly realized there was nothing I could do, and I didn’t want it to ruin my happiness. So I got on with it, and had a fabulous wedding.

One thing that I remember quite clearly from planning the flowers at my wedding was that the florist refused to guarantee colors for hydrangeas. I ended up using all roses, but I wonder if that bride’s florist told her that or not, or if she was promised rust-colored hydrangeas. Still, even if the flowers looked wrong, the point of the day was to get married, and I assume she did that. A bunch of our roses showed up damaged, so we fiddled with them to make it work–and as it turned out, the bouquets for the young bridesmaids were too large anyway, and they ended up looking better with smaller bouquets minus the damaged flowers.