If you use an online budget tool to help you plan, don’t forget to add on the costs of tips, dance lessons, or marriage prep counseling if you plan to include any of those items. If you discover other things you want to add, be sure to actually add them to the budget, and acknowledge that you have to cut something else if you’ve already allocated the total amount available.

Melissa B.: So your tip would be DON’T assume that you have to spend the average amount for your area or that you have to have the usual Saturday evening sit-down dinner reception. I’d add that DON’T assume that the most sought-after wedding caterer is the only one who will do a good job. There are lots of great reasonably-priced wedding vendors out there!

In fact, I really believe that you can have a great wedding on any budget. Can you have a great wedding for $5k if the average budget in your area is five times that? Sure! But, you probably won’t be able to hire the city’s most sought-after wedding photographer and wear a brand-new Melissa Sweet gown. The big thing, I think, is to be realistic about what your money can get you. That goes for parents too. Just because $5000 got you a formal sit-down dinner reception at the country club in 1971 doesn’t mean you can still do that in 2009 — so don’t criticize your kids for being “cheap” for doing a lunchtime sandwich buffet until you take a look at the current costs!