It seems that every wedding coordinator, florist, baker, gown designer, DJ, and caterer knows precisely what every girl has dreamed of all her life for her wedding. They can certainly tell you about it enough. Goodness knows the ones interviewed for reality wedding shows never get tired of the phrase.
The thing is, they aren’t dealing with ‘every girl’ but with you.
‘Every girl’ is generic.
You are unique.
It doesn’t matter whether what you want is the most classic of dreams or something nobody else in the history of weddings has ever imagined possible. What matters is that you are the one dreaming them, and you are the one getting married. Your vendors are working for you. They need to pay attention to your individual needs and desires.
Will you always get precisely what you dreamed of down to the last detail? No. Pretty much nobody gets that. Budget and a dozen other variables can make it nearly impossible – or actually so – to make certain things happen.
What you can expect is that your vendors will listen to what you tell them, discuss your options frankly but with sympathy for your needs, and then do their best to make your specific dreams come true.
So how do you recognize the vendor that will make your planning smoother and more pleasant? Here are a few good signs to look for:
They focus on your during consultations. Anyone can have an emergency phone call come in during a meeting, of course. On the other hand, if fifteen of them crop up during your discussion with a vendor, it’s not a good sign. This is your time. If the vendor doesn’t have time to hear what you want and need from them, you’re probably going to wind up being the emergency call in another bride’s consultation a few months or weeks down the road. Don’t give yourself – or anyone else – that headache.
Choose someone who comes prepared to listen to you and takes notes.
They have practical suggestions. A good, experienced professional understands how to stretch a budget and how to defuse tense situations. Your vendors should be willing as well as able to help you find a way to get as close as possible to your desires.
Choose someone who offers thoughtful advice that fits your situation.
They are honest about what they can and cannot provide for you. Never trust a vendor who promises the moon on a silver platter with watercress and designer shoes around it without explaining how it’s going to happen in the real world. If the deal seems too good to be true, chances are it is.
Choose someone who is willing to admit they can’t do everything for nothing.
They are working for you. The vendor is there to provide a service to you. That means you are the one in the driver’s seat. If you’re being told how things will be instead of asked what you want, it’s time to put on your best running shoes and scram.
Choose someone who is willing to work for you rather than expecting you to get married for them.
They are working with you. If a vendor tells you what ‘every bride’ wants or what ‘every girl dreams of’ it’s time to remind them that you are not every girl. You are a grown woman with her own tastes, preferences, and priorities. If a vendor dismisses your requests out of hand without a good explanation, dismiss them…and be darn sure to let them know why.
Choose someone who is invested in making your dreams come true.