A Weighty Subject
By TwistieThis week as I was perusing one of my favorite blogs, I found a disturbing tale of a bride who had literally eaten almost nothing for the two weeks before her wedding. Why? Because her gown was tight, and she was afraid she wouldn’t fit in it if she ate properly.
One thing that I think all of us can agree on is that a two week period of starvation is not a good idea. It’s particularly not a good idea during a time of emotional stress and major life changes.
So how to avoid needing to take such drastic measures at the last minute? I thought you’d never ask me! Follow the bouncing cut to learn more.
Is everybody here? Good. Then we’ll begin.
Always remember, it is the job of the dress to fit the bride, not the bride to fit the dress. Pick something that fits your figure easily and order it according to your largest measurement. After all, it’s always easier and cheaper to get something taken in than let out.
If your weight/measurements are prone to fluctuations, pick a forgiving silhouette. Heavily boned bodices do not offer much room in case of sudden bloat or a way to hide weight loss that happens spontaneously. Something more flowing may allow you to order with confidence in case you gain or lose a few pounds.
Do not order a smaller size on the assumption that you’ll go on a diet and lose x number of pounds. Even if you do go on that diet, you can’t guarantee how much weight you will lose or how it will affect the fit of your gown. Order for the body you have now, and adjust it to fit the body you have closer to the big day.
Don’t order your gown more than six months before the wedding. Why? Because chances are your body will change in some way if you order it a year in advance. Half the time means half the chance either you or the gown will have to be drastically altered to fit.
Don’t order your gown immediately after a significant illness. Illness can cause all sorts of temporary changes in your body. Wait until you’ve hit a more even keel before you give the bridal salon or dressmaker your measurements. This was precisely what caused the poor bride in the linked article to starve herself and still spend her wedding day uncomfortably adjusting her gown every two minutes.
Remember that on your wedding day you will be beautiful, no matter what your weight or figure. That glow of happy love is what makes us most beautiful on our wedding days. Tall or short, fat or thin, hourglass or apple-shaped, you’re marrying the person you love and that’s a beauty aid that cannot be bottled. Besides, the person you’re marrying chose you. Why try to look like someone else on this of all days?
Regular meals, regular sleep, and regular (and ability appropriate) exercise are always good for your looks. Starvation and insomnia are not. Want to look your best in your pictures? Then get three squares with good nutritional value each day, six to eight hours of rest each night, and a form of exercise that works for you to put the roses in your cheeks. Pick a gown that will allow you to do these things in the days leading up to your wedding.
I don’t care whether you’re a size 0 or a size 52. You deserve to look and feel your best on your wedding day. Part of that is wearing something that you feel beautiful in that fits you properly. After all, if you’re in the mood, you want to wear something that will allow you to dance like this.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I didn’t eat 2 weeks before my wedding, completely by accident, because I was so busy I just forgot or never had time. This inevitably ended in me losing weight (which I had no plans or interest in doing) and my strapless dress falling down quite a lot. About half my Reception picks one side of the dress is very unflatteringly halfway down my arm (there were sleeves).
There’s nothing I can do about it now. But I recommend eating.
October 24th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
One thing I’d second to the millionth degree is that presumably your intended proposed (or accepted your proposal) when you were the size you usually are. I can only assume that he or she thinks you’re wonderful and attractive and perfect at that size, so why on earth would you diet to within an inch of your life to lose weight that the statistics say will come back with a vengeance? Striving to be healthy is one thing, as good eating and good exercise does wonders for the complexion and outlook, but dieting to fit into a smaller size? I’d much rather look back on my wedding photos and see someone who looks like me than someone who looks like a somewhat different (and perhaps even unhealthy) version of me.
I actually had the same thing happen to me, Al. I was left with a too-big gown that couldn’t be altered any smaller, so my extremely structured bodice was filled with not only me, but also pockets of empty space on either side of my waist.
October 24th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
i know someone who is doing the starving/also atkins thing right now to fit into a size smaller bridesmaid dress which she has not yet purchased for a wedding next week.
i mean, it’s not my place to say anything to her and she’s a sweet girl, but seriously? i just don’t understand why. it’s not like she even bought it yet, it’s something right off the rack. why bother? it’s not like the one size will be incredibly noticeable in pictures.
i guess some people must enjoy the thrill of the yo yo diet and just use special occasions to bet themselves how much they can lose?
October 25th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
When I complained to my sister recently about gaining some weight–enough that I went up a pants size–she said, “Kristin, nobody but you sees the size on the tag. Why do you care so much?”
It’s a good point. Nobody but you knows what size your dress is. All other people see is whether you look happy. Additionally, the people you’re inviting are, in theory at least, people who know you–who’ve known you for a long time–who know what you look like, and will not be scrutinizing your waist. They will be muttering, “Are there snacks?” and “Where do I sit?” and “They’re such a cute couple,” not “OH MY GOD SHE’S A WHALE.”
I think I’m lucky in that I grew up with friends who had a wide range of body types–and they were all smokin’ hot. It makes it easier to understand what sexy looks like, and how many flavors it comes in.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Hey, that’s me in that photo!! I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life, and the best thing I did for myself was to chose to not try to lose weight for my wedding. I didn’t need to add personal judgment of failure or the distraction of a diet plan, nor stress and anxiety to the wedding planning. I found a dress that fit well and had it altered to fit better with the key ability to be able to dance at my wedding.
And dance we did!! I never felt more beautiful than I did on my wedding day, and saving myself the worry and anxiety of a weight loss attempt was a big part of it.
~Melissa
October 26th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Wow, Melissa! You look superfantastic! I always find that self-acceptance is a major key to really great style. I know when I saw that picture, I immediately and gleefully knew that I’d found precisely the right pic to illustrate what I was talking about.
Oh, and I have to say your honey’s shoes are rocking my socks! Way spiffy.
October 27th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Beautiful tips Twistie! I’d even add to this one: “Remember that on your wedding day you will be beautiful, no matter what your weight or figure OR DRESS SIZE/NUMBER”
Like Kristin’s sister so astutely remarked, no one knows the (industry inflated at any rate) size number on your gown. Chances are really very high that all of the people you’ve invited to your wedding are your friends and family who are just so incredibly happy for you!!! When I’m at a wedding I’m watching to see happiness and joy; not whether the bride fit into a size 8 gown versus a size 10 (or whatever numbers…). It just seems such a shame to add the stress of weeks of dieting or starvation to the circus events that seem to proceed the day of a wedding! Brides are usually under enough stress as it is!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Thanks, April! And thanks for the inspiration to write this up. Sometimes I forget it’s been a long time since I’ve pointed out to our readers that dresses are supposed to fit our bodies, not the other way around.
And as you point out, if you do manage to lose a dress size, chances are most of the people watching you get married won’t even notice. They’ll pay a lot more attention to whether your skin and eyes are glowing, and whether you look joyful or haggard.
October 28th, 2009 at 7:39 am
I’d like to pass on one suggestion for the bride whose weight fluctuates, or whose heart is set, set, set on a heavily boned bodice: Make sure there’s plenty of extra fabric that goes UNDER the panel where the lacing is; this prevents the laces from cutting into you, and means that there is some fluctuation in how closely you have to be laced (you can be laced less snugly, because there’s no flesh showing, just the panel of fabric).
Second, if you are having a gown made for you, AND if the fabric will stand up to it (this lets out most satins), have the bodice sections finished separately and topstitched to each other. Most bodices are made thus: “fashion fabric” pieces all stitched to one another; all lining pieces stitched to one another; stitch lining to fashion fabric, wrong sides together, turn right side out, press, finish. This is the MODERN way of making and lining a gown bodice, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it makes alterations more difficult. An older way (and one still used in some theatres) is to finish EACH SECTION SEPARATELY: you have a bunch of fully-lined little sections, and they can either be stitched to one another, wrong sides together (fine, if a little bulky), OR they can be top-stitched to one another, especially useful if there are princess seams in the bodice. This means if someone gains or loses weight, *two pieces (because changes should be made evenly) can be picked off easily, and re-stitched, without much fuss or difficulty.
*Two pieces, four pieces, six pieces – whatever makes the change symmetrical.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:06 am
That’s a great tip, LBD! Thanks for sharing.