Archive for November, 2009

How Low Can You Go?

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Brides-to-be take note: I just cannot stand having to lean around a too-tall, too-wide centerpiece to converse with the tablemates seated across from me at your wedding receptions. I may not know anyone at my table other than The Beard, but I am not afraid of making small talk with strangers, and would gladly chat with your high school friend or mother’s aunt’s daughter’s best friend who simply had to be invited and is consequently feeling rather awkward… if there wasn’t a tall vase filled with apples, twigs, flowers, and sparkle nuggets in the way. You don’t don’t have to take my preferences into account when choosing your reception centerpieces, of course, but before you go ga-ga over tall and elegant, consider opting instead for short and sweet. Here’s some inspiration:

low centerpieces 7

One low square vase plus one wide ribbon plus oodles of fresh flowers and trailing greens equals one simple reception centerpiece that a bride or groom could put together themselves with a little DIY skill. But if you’re hiring a florist to take care of your wedding flowers anyway, why not leave it to the experts?


Want a $25 Kohl’s Gift Card? Share Your Favorite Trashy Gown or Bridal Accessory to Win!

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Lucky me, I have recently come into possession of not one, but two $25 Kohl’s gift cards! Instead of spending them on myself like a selfish witch, I’ve decided to give them away to two lucky readers who can spend them any way they want. My contests always get a little theme-y and this one’s no different. The theme this go around? It’s trashy, skanky, or otherwise extremely fugly wedding dresses or bridal accessories.

To enter to win one of the two $25 Kohl’s gift cards, leave a comment on this post describing the trashiest wedding dress or bridal accessory you’ve seen. Better yet, include a link to the offending gown or shoe or jewelry. Comments will be closed at noon on Friday, November 27, and the contest winners (chosen by our friend the Random Number Generator) will be announced shortly thereafter.

I can’t enter myself, of course, but to get you into the spirit of things, here are two pairs of bridal sneakers that you will not find at Kohl’s:

bridal sneakers

bridal sneakers 3

Yes, that’s a bridal sneaker with a four inch heel and a bridal sneaker wedge with a three-and-a-half inch heel, both of which feature a plasticized finish for durability. According to the Lovely Bride web site, these bridal sneakers are meant for the reception… so I suppose if the bride was wearing high heels, she could change into sneakers without stepping all over her hem? Personally, I think that if you’re going to change into sneakers, you could at least make them cute sneakers instead of shiny bedazzled monstrosities.

(via the lovely Lise who sent me a link to

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Winter Wonderland Edition

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

Hail, caption fans! It’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness.

Those of you who have been around a while know the drill: I find a picture crying out (or possibly sobbing into its Corn Flakes) for a caption. You provide said caption via the comments box. Next saturday I declare a winner, and there is much rejoicing.

This one comes to you from the ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’ file, and it looks a bit like this:
Boy Bride on Skis

Zen and the Art of Getting Married

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

It strikes me that it’s been a while since we’ve really talked about stress relief/avoidance during the wedding process. Stress is sort of to be expected to a certain extent when planning something as big as a wedding. Even a simple one requires coordination of a number of elements most of us don’t deal with on a day-to-day basis. Add in the fact that this is in honor of a huge, life-changing event, and it’s the rare bride who doesn’t get a bit jittery about some aspect of the process.

The good news is that a great deal of stress can be just plain avoided by a little thought and honesty with yourself about how you will best deal with stressful situations.

A Proposal and a Wedding

Friday, November 20th, 2009

There are as many ways to propose and get married as there are people doing the proposing and people saying their “I dos”. Here are two, with the proposal coming first. A uniformed policeman proposed to his girlfriend at the headquarters of the Police Tactical Unit (Hong Kong’s emergency police squad) while flanked by colleagues cheering “Marry him, marry him!”.

With all those men with guns, how could you say no? I kid, I kid. How wonderful to say “Yes, I will!” in front of such an ebullient and happy crowd!

The second, the wedding, comes from Brittany. Some weeks ago, Lorien Gabel (the CEO of pingg) and his fiancee Jessica Lichtenstein made their wedding a private-public affair. First, the pair hopped a plane to Vegas and were secretly married in the dessert while also filming a movie featuring their alter egos. The movie concluded with the surprise ending, Lorien and Jessica exchanging vows.

wedding movie

Three weeks later, 200 of the couples’ closest friends and family traveled to NYC to celebrate Jess and Lorien’s combined 30th and 40th birthdays… after responding to an invitation that advertised that they each had other SOs when they first kissed, uh. Guests were shown their matrimonial movie and were reportedly shocked and awed that they were witnessing the couple’s actual wedding vows.

You can see stills from the movie and the filming process here. I can’t say I was enthralled by the film itself, as it’s a little “here’s us in a car, here’s a manga figurine, here’s us dancing, here’s some crotch grabbing, we’re so edgy sexy, now we’re married surprise!” for my tastes, but I do suppose I’d be a lot more interested if the couple in question was made up of people I actually know. Still, it’s an interesting idea. Flashy, too, and I love flashy.

Bridal Brain Bleach

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

For those who need a palette cleanser after what shall henceforth be known as the wedding dress with the thingy, have a gander at this stunning gown from Justin Alexander Bridal.


And the back view…


*Sigh* That’s better.

LOVE/HATE: The ‘There Are No Words’ Edition

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

A part of me wants to love this Atelier Aimee wedding dress so much. Excepting the hat and the earrings that look like upside down feather dusters, that is. But the big fake roses? The ribbon that looks like it came from the CVS gift wrap aisle? And the asymmetrical fur… thingy?

pink wedding dress

Something has to go, and I think it’s the thingy. What is it, anyway? A fur seatbelt? Maybe it’s everything above the waist that isn’t the bodice that has to go, since I can deal with the roses on the skirt (even if they do look kind of droopy). As it stands now, I’m saying HATE.

What say you?