A Chance For Brides to Have Their Say
Quite some time ago now, I wrote an open letter to wedding gown designers on the subject of why they refused to ever design sleeves. It was a popular article at the time, and it still gets a comment every now and again. It got one the other day that I have decided to make its own post. Here’s what Jennifer had to say:
I’m so glad I found this article!I was googling because I am thinking of making silk wedding dresses next year,(I have school to do right now)and wanted to know what woman are looking for.Almost all the wedding dresses I have looked at ARE strapless,or have plunging necklines,ect.Vintage dresses are great,but most of them are smaller sizes,so that can be a problem for a lot of women.If anyone would like to email me with ideas or anything theyd like to say about wedding dresses,they can at:jennystreasuresforu@gmail.com.I also make handmade jewelry,spin crochet,and knit,so you can check out my website:www.JennysTreasuresForU.etsy.com,if you’d like.If I were to sell wedding dresses on etsy(where you could return most dress if needed),would a seperate shop be better just for the dresses?Thank you!
So, folks, let’s help out a budding wedding gown designer. Let her know what you think about sleeves, butt bows, mermaid lines, crinolines, Etsy as a source for wedding gowns, prices vs quality…anything you have to say about what you love or hate or find confusing about wedding gowns.
I work for a place that cleans a lot of wedding gowns, so I’ve seen pretty much the whole spectrum of what’s out there, and my biggest pet peeve is when a designer takes an otherwise beautifully-designed gown and, in my opinion, ruins the whole thing by throwing (and in some horrifying instances, gluing) a bunch of cheap plastic beads on it. Non-beaded gowns are almost always too plain, as if the designer couldn’t be bothered, or are embellished with twee ribbons and bows that look more appropriate for the under-12-years-old set.
I’d love to see some well-designed, elegant, and vintage-inspired gowns with plain, non-beaded lace or more subtle embellishments. Draping is also wonderful if done well, but if I never see another one of those “cupcake” pick-up dresses, I can die happy. I also love the look of the “new-vintage” 50′s-style dresses that are cropping up online, but I don’t love that they all seem to stop at the knee.
Pockets. Women’s formal wear NEVER has pockets, so we must resort to stashing our lipgloss, camera, cell phone, and flask in our bosom, or risk carrying them around in a silly looking bag that we will inevitably leave somewhere. I want pockets.
I agree with pockets – just bought a strapless knee-length cream dress at White House Black Market for $20 and am unbelievably excited because it has pockets on the side seams of the skirt.
As for sleeves – there was a Jenny Lee dress a few years ago that I LOVED because it had elbow-length sleeves with little split thingies at the end. Almost like a very tiny half-inch cuff. So my contribution is this: Love Etsy, Love Custom-Made, Love Sleeves, and Love Pockets. GOOD LUCK!!!
Non-strapless designs that have enough room for boobs! I’m a curvy girl who wears a 36 D, not huge, but definitely a ways off from the 34 A that most dresses in bridal shops seem to be designed for.
Skip the gauzy fairy style (unless that’s your thing). I’d be more interested in looking at fall/winter aimed designs with matching boleros or sleeves of some length (I <3 ballet length with a boat neck line on a willowy looking gal, but it looks like a big ol' platter of boobs on me).
Maybe you could offer muslin mock-ups of dresses to try on. THAT would be amazing. Have a few regular styles, make them up in a bunch of sizes and then charge something nominal like $5 per style (or something to defray your cleaning/ironing time upon their return). It could be so helpful to be able order 3 sizes or so at a time to try on and then mail back. Then buyers would be able to not only give you their measurements but take pictures to show you how your basic model fit (too long/short/tight/etc.)! To have even the vaguest idea what a dress might look like on my body before hand would make me feel SO much more confidant in ordering online. [this would also be much more practical than returns, since it's not very economical to allow someone to return a custom made dress]
My sister wore sleeves with her gown when she got wed and she looked so gorgeous with it. I guess it will still depend on the bride’s preference on what type of gown she would want to wear.
actual fabric sleeves – not just itchy lace ones. the only sleeved dresses i found had horribly uncomfortable lace sleeves encrusted with beads and things. i love the muslin mock up idea, too.
Whoa. Was my post too long and specific, NtB? Because it was … really long. And specific. But meant to be helpful. If it just got eaten, I’ll see if I saved it somewhere … but if it was too long, let me know and I won’t bother looking.
Looks like it got eaten :-/ I don’t know what WordPress has against long comments… we love long comments! If you saved it, try re-posting it and we’ll be on the lookout for it so we can approve it.
I would love a dress with sleeves and some texture on the fabric. Sometimes a lace dress can be too heavy or overwhelming, so an alternative could be some embroidered fabric, or pleating, or something. Sleves and different neckline shapes, or even a one shoulder dress would be appreciated!
YES to pockets!
I’d suggest to Jenny that she might want to think about offering her wedding dresses as Mix-And-Match silhouettes, letting people choose from Jenny’s own choice of what’s on offer:
Necklines (jewel neck, bateau neck, scoopneck, sweetheart, V-neck, strapless);
Sleeves (strapless=no sleeves; sleeveless, with straps; puff, in short, 3/4, full length; straight sleeves in short, 3/4, full length; any others that appeal to Jenny, such as butterfly, leg o’ mutton, Anne of Cleves, angelwing, etc.);
Bodice Length (Empire, natural waist, drop waist, straight across, drop waist, V-shaped);
Fit (Bias, Princess-line, darts);
Skirt Shape (Straight, A-line, Bell, Trumpet, etc.);
Skirt Length (above the knee, knee-length, mid-calf, tea-length, ankle-length, floor-length);
Train (from the shoulder, from the waist, detachable, looping styles, length on floor);
Fabric (satin – silk or polyester; velvet – silk, cotton, polyester, rayon; brocade – silk, cotton, poly, blend; taffeta – silk or poly; faille; lace; tulle; eyelet;) (*supplied by Bride, with explicit instructions from Jenny as to length and width needed);
COLOURS (White; Ivory; Eggshell; Pastels; Brights);
Bits and Bobs (closure style – lace-up, zipper, buttons – and where; big bows, sashes, lace appliqués, sequins and/or beading, overlays; ruffles, etc.); and
Cover-ups (Shawls, Boleros, Cloaks, Capes).
It would be good to have a feature where the bride could put her choices together on a model, so that she can see what, say, her Empire-waist dress with a sweetheart neckline, long straight sleeves, floor-length straight skirt, and ruffle around the hem will look like; she may choose a Bias-cut dress instead. It would be GREAT if Jenny can offer a model that corresponds to the weight-and-height, and maybe even Body Type (Apple, Ruler, Hourglass, Pear, V-shape) that the bride punches in. It would be very, very useful to publish information, not only type of fit (most brides’ dresses do tend to be very fitted), but the HEM WIDTH for the selections available, so that if the bride is providing her own underpinnings, she doesn’t pick a hoop that is too big to go under her wedding dress.
Jenny will figure out how many options she wants to offer her brides, and can limit or expand her palette as suits her. *She’ll have to decide if she wants to permit the bride to supply her own fabric; Jenny will need to give length and width requirements for each segment, so to speak, and fabric suitability – it might not be to her advantage to permit it at all.
I do beg that, on her website, Jenny at least consider using spell check for EVERYTHING, and that she use standard business punctuation (apostrophes, commas, etc.); it will make her appear professional, which will be to her advantage. While there may be many brides who wouldn’t be put off by misspellings and lack of apostrophes, there are many who would be.
3/4 length sleeves, please. I would freaking kill for a gown with 3/4 length, MADE OF FABRIC, sleeves. I look ridiculous in strapless styles–ditto on the boobage, violarulz–and little filmy net sleeves that feel like a tacked-on afterthought don’t help much. I love 3/4 sleeves, on the other hand, and look very nice in them, and can’t find them on a wedding dress ANYWHERE. I don’t really like most vintage gowns, nor fit into them (neither having the figure requirements of dressmakers’ patterns nor wearing a girdle), and full-length sleeves are never long enough for my spindly monkey-arms. The only thing that makes me sadder than looking down my arms to see the cuff hitting three inches above the wrist is looking down at my chest to see my lady lumps tragically pancaked.
I didn’t realize I felt this strongly about sleeves until I started writing, but oh, I DO, I really do. 3/4 length sleeves are flattering on a much broader range of people than strapless dresses are. For one thing, not everyone is comfortable showing cleavage at an event where family members will be present, and it’s tough to find a non-cleavage-showing strapless dress. I very nearly considered sewing my own dress, except that I am actually a pretty horrible seamstress and am lazy enough to wear the family dress, which isn’t too heinous. (It’s a little heinous. It dates back to the 1920s, though, and no one who’s gotten married in it has ever gotten divorced, so. It can’t really look dated, it’ll make Nana happy, and I can change into something more fun for the reception. I still worry about the sleeves, though.)
Also, heck to the yes on LaBellaDonna’s suggestions. Choice is a good thing, and I have never bought anything from a vendor who made multiple egregious spelling errors. Especially online, especially a large-scale purchase.
Most dresses with sleeves either are too much coverage, or not enough fabric. Don’t get me started on cap sleeves! If you don’t look good or aren’t comfortable in sleeveless or small straps, a tiny cap on your shoulders isn’t going to look any better! Sleeves should cover your *arms.* I want to show my shoulders, my décolletage, but not my upper arms. So, my dream dress is an off-the-shoulder with 3/4 sleeves. It seems like the perfect way to have that strapless/sexy/elegant bridal look, but still covering the flabby arm part that many of us don’t want to show. (I have yet to find this dream dress, however. Sigh.)
I am not a fan of boleros, shrugs, and wraps, because it’s almost like pointing to the areas you want to cover and saying “you really don’t want to see what’s under this!” But the popularity of those options goes to show how few options there are out there for sleeves. I think a gown designer who did a “sleeves” collection of dresses that were not frumpy or too tiny would make a fortune.
I’d also like to second the “3/4 sleeves” for the YES, and “cap sleeves” for the HECK, NO! To expand on Casey’s comments regarding boleros, shrugs and wraps, my own suggestion for bridal coverups was for coverups to SUPPLEMENT the dress, and not to REPLACE MISSING SLEEVES. They were meant to be handy in case the venue was cold, windy, rainy and/or snowy, and to keep the bride warm/and or dry against the elements (including air conditioning, which counts as an element. Because I say so, that’s why.)
Kristin: Nana’s dress now counts as an HEIRLOOM, and is close to a hundred years old. Be advised that a dress that old may COME APART while you are wearing it. Perhaps you could have a seamstress copy it for you? Also, if Nana’s dress is sleeveless (many 20s dress were NOT sleeveless), consider having a seamstress make a gilet that you can wear under the dress to cover your arms.
Casey: I’d suggest finding a seamstress whose work you trust. An off-the-shoulder dress with 3/4 sleeves is pretty specific, and if you don’t want to be tugging the sleeves up all day/night, it should be made for you. I have several, with really really really LONG sleeves, and they stay put – but then again, I made them.
Hi,everybody,this is Jennifer again.I was very surprised to find that Twistie had put this as a blog.Thanks,Twistie!Yes,pockets!I recently bought a dress that has pockets,and I realy like that.So,bridesmaid dresses with pockets,huh? viola:I do like your idea of having muslin mockups,and since a lot of people make muslin samples of a basic design before making the actual dress and I think I will too,I could use those for peole to try on.No,I would not let people return a custom made dress,only a ready made dress under certian circumstances.La BellaDonna:Thank you for all the advice.I’m geussing you are a seamstress.Yes,how wide the skirt is important,don’t want a hoop to make the skirt all streched out;also sleeve measurements,so a bride won’t have sleeves that pinch her arms.(Nothing more annoying than that,I’ve found)I don’t have a spell checker for the Etsy website,but I will be more careful in the future.I did go back and check and took care of a few spelling mistakes.Sometimes it’s not spelling,but typing,since I’m not a very good typer.(I just got my first computer this summer).I did try to make paragraphs on my website,because I know that would look SO much better,but for some weird reason,it won’t let me.Kristin:When is your wedding?Casey:I think I remember finding a beautiful off the shoulder with sleeves wedding dress while looking at wedding dresses online,and I may be able to find it again.If so,I will post the link here.I also have a blog that I have’nt stated yet,so I think I will put pictures or links of nice wedding dresses on there that catch my eye.The blog is called:lifeismorethanbeads.blogspot.com I may want to start another blog just for the wedding part.Kate:Fabric sleeves,yes!And I have been looking for comfortable lace for when the wedding dress is to have lace where it will be against the skin.Amy:I would never glue plastic beads on a wedding dress.Horror! If I do beading,I will probably use CLEAR doulded Fireline,which I use for almost all of my beading projects.I will have to check out 50′s style wedding dreses. I don’t like very many short wedding dresses,or any really short dresses wher you can’t bend over.Megan:Perhaps a burnout flower pattern in white?My friend told me about this wonderful website,wher I plan to get most of my fabric from.www.dharmatrading.com.They cary silk,hemp,cotton,silk and wool fabric(Which I’m dieing to get my hands on),bamboo,cotton,and lots more!My friend,June,makes silk scarves,and can also custom dye the fabric any color I wish.Great feedback,everybody,though no one said anything about prices.What is your budget for a wedding dress?Or bridesmaid dresses?
My pleasure, Jennifer! I knew our vociferous and opinionated readership would give you a lot to think about.
Oh, I know Dharma Trading. They’re very reliable. Good choice.
Best of luck with your project. I look forward to seeing how it goes.