When shopping for your wedding gown, there are several important things to keep in mind.
1) Consider the venue and number of attendants you will need before choosing a very long train:
2) When choosing the fabric for your gown, consider wool. No, really, consider it carefully and remember to card it before you head down the aisle.
3) If you are old enough to be getting married, you are probably old enough to dispense with wearing cartoon characters on your formalwear.
4) But in your eagerness to embrace more adult themes, do not make the mistake of allowing Alfred Hitchcock to design your headpiece.
5) If you cannot find a large enough butt bow to satisfy your cravings, a pair of King sized down pillows may be used to good advantage on your gown.
6) Always remember that patriotism, while an excellent thing in and of itself, is rarely a particularly successful fashion statement.
7) Speaking of fashion statements, consider carefully just how much of one you want to be on your wedding day. Your children will inevitably laugh at the photos one day, but there’s no need to give them too much extra ammunition, is there?