Catch As Catch Can
When I polled all you lovely ladies back in February to ask whether you’d be tossing the bouquet, most of you chose “No way! I don’t want to embarrass the single ladies like that.” And more power to you – I would say that at the majority of weddings I attended in my 20s, it was common to see all the unmarried maids who dutifully trudged onto the dance floor for the bouquet toss back the truck up when that notable arrangement came flying at their heads. I’ve even seen a bouquet land on the floor!
But it’s telling that the second most popular poll response was “Yes, absolutely! It’s just harmless fun, so why not?” (followed closely by “No, but I’m not opposed to it. It’s just not something I feel inclined to include,” which is also somewhat telling). What it says to me is that plenty of brides are still tossing the bouquet. For their sakes, I hope that their single friends are as enthusiastic as this:
(Photo via the always gorgeous Kate Harrison Photography)
While I am firmly anti-bouquet-tossing, I am willing to acknowledge that it might work with some crowds. Especially if you’re one of the first of your friends to get married, and you have a decent-sized group of single, OUTGOING, girlfriends.
However, if the list of “single” females at your wedding mostly consists of your 16-year old cousin, your one shy friend from college, and your never-married aunt, then DON’T DO IT.
Also, the “requirements” can be vague, and can lead towards over zealous guests pushing “singles” out just because they don’t have a ring on their finger.
What if you’re in a serious long-term relationship?
What if you’re engaged?
What if you’re divorced?
This is the first I’ve mentioned it here (grew apart, we’re still on reasonably-friendly terms, blah, blah amicable-cakes) but I now fall into the latter category. I would be extremely uncomfortable if someone tried to force me out there now, though I grudgingly participated in my younger years.
NtB, I have the opposite of that picture — a snapshot of all my friends leaning *away* from the bouquet! In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t done the toss. I had tons of single twenty-something friends at the wedding, but it’s only fun if people really are excited about catching it, and it’s clear from the picture that my pals weren’t into it
(If any of you are reading … I’m still sorry!!)
I thought, without fail, all the unmarrieds were forced onto the floor. I think I may have seen a bride pull up a widow.
At one wedding, the DJ repeatedly summoned a woman out by name. I’m amazed she she took it in stride. If I didn’t know her, I’d have thought they were picking on the homely woman who presumably couldn’t get a date. The truth was, she was living with her boyfriend – who wasn’t at the wedding because he was taking care of their baby. She wasn’t what most people unaffiliated with the Social Security Administration would call single – she had a freaking family!
I’ve caught the bouquet a couple of times (which was accompanied by the godforsaken garter spectacle, which seems to be declining even if there’s a bouquet toss – thankfully, one of the times my now-fiancé caught it). That’s what free booze does to me – makes me open to doing ridiculous crap while allowing me to be even more coordinated than I am sober!
I’m going to a wedding this summer with a bride who looks like she’ll be a bouquet tosser (and garter thrower) – can’t wait to see if I still “qualify.”
I actually attended a wedding once where two women reaching for the gusto managed to knock each other on their butts. It was kind of hilarious since nobody got hurt.
Yes, there was both bouquet and garter tossing at my wedding to Mr. Twistie, but people were left to their own devices to decide whether they wanted to try to catch these items or not. In fact, the woman who caught the bouquet had received her final divorce papers some three or four days before the wedding. She considered getting out there to catch the bouquet as a fun way of signaling that she was letting go of the past and reaching for a happy new future.
But if she hadn’t wanted to get out there, no way in any dimension would I have wanted anyone to bug her about it or try to force it on her. I cringed at the one wedding I attended where people were dragged onto the dance floor to catch things whether they would or no.
I’m going to the wedding of a very… lets say pushy… couple who are friends with me and my boyfriend of three years (who is going to stay no more than a boyfriend for at least 2 more years due to school issues) later this year. I’m dreading being dragged to the floor to catch that bouquet.. Anyone tries anything and I’m going to shoot them the most evil look ever.