This isn’t something we often talk about here at Manolo for the Brides. After all, the point of this blog is to help blushing (and not so blushing) brides plan their weddings through budget tips, inspiring pics of pretty things, and general ‘woo hoo, weddings!’ cheerleading.
The fact is, however, that divorce is how a heck of a lot of marriages end. The common wisdom is that half of all marriages end in divorce. The good news, according to this article at The Daily Beast, is that the statistic is now closer to a 40% chance of divorce.
The article goes on to note fifteen things that can make a divorce more likely in your relationship. Some are not terribly surprising, such as how often you argue about money or if one of you smokes and the other doesn’t. Some are more surprising, such as whether you have a son or a daughter (parents of boys are less likely to break up, it seems).
There’s even a link to the handy, dandy Divorce 360 Marriage Calculator which allows you to check the statistical likelihood of your getting divorced. Of course it doesn’t include information from both partners, and the information for the person filling out the form is pretty darn generalized, but still, there it is.
According to the Marriage Calculator, a woman of my educational level who married around the same time I did and at a similar age has roughly a 28% chance of having divorced. That leaves me with a 72% chance of still being married. I’m statistically solid, as it turns out.
But there’s a lot more to life and marriage than statistics. Let me tell you about my paternal grandparents.
On paper, they were the poster children for an early, acrimonious divorce. She was tall, he was short. It was a May/December romance. In fact, my grandfather was a year older than his mother-in-law! Granny lived with her parents in pretty much one place before she married, Mac had emigrated from Canada at a very early age and traveled all over the US and beyond. My grandfather was a gourmand, Granny was a lousy cook. He had a chaotic sense of humor and adored the Marx Brothers and WC Fields. She had no sense of humor. He was a dapper flirt. She felt that clothes were God’s way of telling us to cover up and behave ourselves. She graduated high school and went on to teaching college, eventually becoming a teacher herself. He was a self-taught man with no degrees. He loved to read history books, technical manuals on engineering, Mark Twain, and especially Zane Grey. The only things my grandmother read were the Bible and Agatha Christie mysteries. By every possible statistic, these two should have been on their way to divorce court before they got back from the Honeymoon.
And yet, they delighted in one another for forty-some years. One night my grandfather went to sleep and just didn’t wake up again. He was 94 and still in love with Granny.