Smell You Later, Prop 8. Let’s Just Hope Equality Sticks This Time.

I’m super psyched to announce that one Federal Judge Vaughn Walker declared California’s ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional, holding that it is not only a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause, but also impermissibly burdens “the exercise of the fundamental right to marry.”

Judge Vaughn Walker’s conclusion is the bizzomb: “Animus towards gays and lesbians or simply a belief that a relationship between a man and a woman is inherently better than a relationship between two men or two women…is not a proper basis on which to legislate.”

I, with my gay mom, have been saying that for a long, long time. It is totally okay from a legal standpoint to think homosexuality (or gay marriage) is icky or weird or even totally not what God had in mind. You can even legally decide you hate gays – though it should be noted that hating gays does make you a bigot. No one is going to force Adam and Eve to be friends with Adam and Steve, and religious institutions are not going to be forced to perform the marriage ceremony when Adam and Steve decide to take their relationship to the next level.

But just because a whole bunch of people think gay folks are icky doesn’t mean that those people get to decide what gay folks can and can’t do any more than, say, people who think [insert ethnicity here]/women/the differently-abled/etc. are icky get to decide what those folks can and can’t do.

I mean, heck, I think lots of stuff is icky. I don’t try to ban that stuff, though. I just don’t do that stuff. So to all the people who cannot stand gay marriage, I say: Then Do. Not. Get. Married. To. Someone. Of. Your. Gender. Problem solved! (I warn you, though, that not entering into a gay marriage will not protect you from having a nice, upper-class gay couple move in next door or from seeing attractive gay people on your television set.)

Of course, Ahnold weighed in: “For the hundreds of thousands of Californians in gay and lesbian households who are managing their day-to-day lives, this decision affirms the full legal protections and safeguards I believe everyone deserves. At the same time, it provides an opportunity for all Californians to consider our history of leading the way to the future, and our growing reputation of treating all people and their relationships with equal respect and dignity. Today’s decision is by no means California’s first milestone, nor our last, on America’s road to equality and freedom for all people.”

Now let’s raise a glass in honor of all the gay Californians who are still engaged because they didn’t make the previous cut-off while also crossing our fingers that something ridiculous like a federal ban on same-sex marriage doesn’t suddenly become a reality. Once upon a time, I would have said I couldn’t have seen something like that happening, but after the whole Prop 8 thing, who knows where this is headed.

To the moral majority crowd, if they’re reading this, all I can say is that we’re all over gay marriage here in Liberalchusetts, and somehow we still have the lowest divorce rate in the entire U.S. of A.! Threat to the sanctity of marriage, my tush.

3 Responses to “Smell You Later, Prop 8. Let’s Just Hope Equality Sticks This Time.”

  1. Rubiatonta says:

    Thank you so much for this post!

    I just got home from seeing “The Kids Are All Right” — though my mom and I had made the plans last week, before the court ruling on Prop 8, it felt like a celebration anyway. The thing I loved best? How the marriage portrayed was so recognizably normal. We need to see these stories again and again, until we stop noticing that the people involved are of the same gender.

    A dear friend of mine and her wife got married back during the brief (first) time that it was legal in California, and I think of them both with delight whenever I see a post or article on the ruling. They are two of the finest people I know, and they deserve exactly the same rights, responsibilities, and – especially – joys that everyone else does. They are an example of what a loving long-term relationship looks like, something that we all should aspire to.

  2. Twistie says:

    I have been dancing since yesterday over this.

    Of course there has been an appeal, so we don’t get to break out the bubbly for California same-sex couples quite yet. But I know in my heart that this is a HUGE step toward equality.

  3. Debi says:

    I love this blog. As a lesbian in Califonia who has now had three wedding ceremonies (1 for Dom Partnership in 1994, 1 in 2004 during first brief window and 1 in 2008 in the second brief window), I am hopefull that I continue read this blog for pure enjoyment and not to plan a fourth ceremony should the Prop 8 folks prevail on appeal.

    I do have a friend who REALLY wants to be a bridesmaid should we have to wed again, if so, I’ll direct her here to get tips on dresses.