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Father of the Bride: How to Include Him | Manolo for the Brides

Three Out of the Ordinary Ways to Include the Father of the Bride

… or the father of the groom! Weddings, as I’m sure we all know, tend to be about the ladies, at least insofar as we’re constantly being told that weddings are supposed to be about the ladies. There’s the bride, of course, and her mother and grandmothers. And the typical attendants chosen by brides are the maid of honor, bridesmaids, and one or more flower girls (as opposed to the less common man of honor and bridesmen). There’s a groom floating around in that estrogen bath somewhere, but his role is perceived as obvious. Less clear these days is the role of the father of the bride. Once upon a time he might have been the one writing the checks to wedding vendors, but nowadays brides and grooms are paying for some or all of their weddings.

So what are those dads doing while their kiddies are knee-deep in wedding planning mags, anyway? Sometimes the father of the bride and the father of the groom take that old, annoying advice given to guys and simply stand back and shut up. But it turns out that there are dads who don’t want to be relegated to playing the part of another piece of background scenery! And these dads are often left wondering what exactly they should be contributing to the wedding planning process. With that in mind, here are three out of the ordinary ways the father of the bride and father of the groom can help out:


The Father of the Bride Can Offer Experience and Wisdom
Note that I’m not talking about some stodgy lecture on how much centerpieces would have cost in his day. Certain dads know plenty about certain stuff, and brides and grooms can gain a lot by asking for advice in certain areas. Maybe your dad is a whiz with power tools. Could he build you a custom wedding arch or even an entire outdoor wedding chapel? If your pop is a crack negotiator, why not ask him to phone up an uber expensive vendor to see if he can score you a super deal? Heck, some fathers have the skills to pay the bills when it comes to coordinating linens or cranking out a perfect color palette. Don’t assume that you can’t ask your dad for help with the flowers if his garden is the envy of the neighborhood just because he’s a dude.

The Father of the Bride Can Handle Logistics and Organization
The one benefit of dads not getting more involved in their kids’ weddings is that they can offer up organization tips that do not come with emotional baggage attached. As what amounts to an impartial observer, the father of the bride can keep track of things like vendor info and payment schedules. Some dads get a real kick out of trying to suss out the bad apples on the bride’s list of potential wedding vendors, so consider whether yours might like to do some background checks so you can create a short list of perfect vendors. Or ask technodad to whip up a computer program to help you keep track of all the deets. Another area in which the father of the bride (and father of the groom) can usually be counted on is logistics – specifically getting people and stuff from A to B. Why worry about how your floral arrangements or Great Aunt Ida will get from the ceremony venue to the reception venue when pops can do it for you?

The Father of the Bride Can Be In Charge of Crisis Management
It’s often said that men get a real kick out of solving problems, so assign dear old dad the role of official wedding crisis manager! You will, of course, be tres busy becoming extra beautiful and wiping away tears of happiness and your mom and ‘maids will probably be right there with you. Who can you count on to step up when the DJ calls to announce she will be an hour late to the reception? Who’d be happy to drive around town to find a back-up cake when the baker comes down with TB? Dad to the rescue! Just make sure that he knows that he’s in charge of crisis management (and agrees to the responsibility) before you start firing oopses at his head.

(Actually, that last bit is just plain good advice when it comes to any duty you’d like a loved one to undertake. It’s not fun to assume that so-and-so with be handling the such-and-such only to find out later that they had no idea you wanted them to do anything other than show up on time in the appropriate clothing.)

One Response to “Three Out of the Ordinary Ways to Include the Father of the Bride”

  1. maid of honor September 7, 2010 at 4:27 pm #

    it’s always good to include the father of the bride and groom.