Always a Bridesmaid’s Dress

“You can totally wear it again!”

How many times have bridesmaids been told precisely that as they cringe internally? I was told it about a dusty rose acetate taffeta (with matching polyester lace, no less!) high-necked, long-sleeved, full-skirted, tea length number once.

At least it was cheap. It never saw the light of day again. Then again, nothing in dusty rose ever would from my closet. It’s one of the few colors in the world that I detest and I look as though I’m in the final stages of terminal jaundice in it. I did, however, have better luck with the next two bridesmaids dresses I wore.

This week on Project Runway, Season 8, a group of women who were all told The Lie showed up to have their unfortunate polyester and acetate monstrosities turned into clothes they actually would want to wear again (but wouldn’t be able to after the runway show, because all designs on the show become the property of the show and are auctioned off at the end of the season).

This is what the designers started with:

Just look at that parade of fugly.

Anyway, there’s a pile of backstage drama. Judges fall in love with and hate on the conversions following the tortured labyrinths of their own minds. My beloved Peach was sent (deservedly, alas!) home for creating something Michael Kors declared to feature ‘avocado goiters.’ And Michael Costello won a second time with a look that left me scratching my head.

At least they didn’t all look like they did when they started out!

If you want more backstage drama or just pics of what the designers did to all of these awful dresses, take a peek over at Lifetime.

And if you watched the episode and have any thoughts on it (including the Ivy vs Michael C. controversy) feel free to dish in comments. Just keep in mind that no matter what you think of anyone or anything else on that show, Tim Gunn is totally my imaginary gay celebrity boyfriend and anyone who hates on him will earn my eternal wrath.

9 Responses to “Always a Bridesmaid’s Dress”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh no! I’ve been really busy the past couple dayns, and I was planning to watch that episode tomorrow!

  2. Twistie says:

    D’oh! I’m so sorry. I’ve now edited the post so that those who haven’t checked their DVRs or checked out the internet feed of it aren’t spoiled too horribly from now on.

  3. Anonymous says:

    My main reaction after watching this episode was, “doesn’t Michael Kors know that goiters happen on necks, not waists?” I thought there would be a chorus of corrections from the internet snarkmongers for this remark, but I thought wrong! Color me surprised. Anyway, I can overlook the inaccuracy in light of the sheer hilarity and band-name-potential of the phrase “avocado goiter.” Also loved “Snooki and the Flintstones.”

    Also, I may be in the minority, but I really don’t think the designers dislike Michael C just because Evil Gretchen brainwashed them all. These guys spend all their time together; they know each other’s skills better than the judges or the viewers do, and it must be frustrating to see someone who seems kind of clueless in the workroom magically turn out things that the judges love. Michael C seems like a good guy, but his dress this week really had a LOT going on (Tim Gunn even said so!)…yet somehow the judges loved it, go figure. Gretchen’s frowny face after that was PRICELESS.

  4. Twistie says:

    Yeah, I was amused by MK’s confusion over anatomy, too. But, like you, decided that despite its inaccuracy ‘avocado goiter’ would make such a great band name that I’m willing to overlook it.

    I can completely understand the frustration the other designers feel at Michael C’s two wins. Frankly, I haven’t been wild about either of his winning designs. All the same, I don’t get the sheer level of hate going on in that workroom. You just don’t get that kind of animosity by being a disorganized but lucky stiff.

    Either he’s doing nasty things they aren’t showing on camera – and I have difficulty believing that if he’d actually been spreading rumors about Ivy or anything else that directly rotten that it wouldn’t have made the cut for being shown – or someone is fanning the flames all out of proportion. Having watched how Gretchen and her minion Ivy have behaved, I think the two of them are both taking something that would have been a mild irritant to the other designers and trying to make it a much bigger deal than it is.

    The thing is, Michael was big enough to wish his team members luck after all of them – with the blessed and suicidal exception of AJ – threw him under the bus, ran it over him several times, and then flicked lit cigarettes at his crumpled body out the window. That’s not the sort of guy who is going out of his way to make enemies. And yet the only one who expresses even simple neutrality about him is Casanova.

    I also have to say that from the judge’s comments, the nasty performance in the team challenge seems to have played a small part in Michael’s second win. I think Tim wasn’t the only one with a message for the haters.

    That said, I hated this dress and thought Mondo should have gotten the win despite the Snookie meets the Flintstones styling.

    And the sooner I don’t have to watch Gretchen and Ivy make faces about other people, the happier woman I will be.

  5. Carol says:

    oh how i love tim gunn. i saw him once at a restaurant. lucky for me, he was leaving when i saw him, or i would have embarrassed myself

    ok, honestly, his wasn’t the best dress i’ve ever seen, but it was the best one on the show, no? the highlight of this season has to be when he yelled at the team for letting gretchen take advantage. i hate her…

  6. Jennifer says:

    haha.And that is why I will make sure my bridesmaids have dresses that are at least an ok color on them when I get married someday.I’ve read the Color Me Beautiful book,and know my colors,and would hate it if anyone made me wear a color that looks awful on me.

  7. Twistie says:

    @Carol: Oooh, to have been in the presence of TIM! See? I don’t even have to be in the same city to embarrass myself.

    But no, I didn’t think Michael’s dress was the best. As I said, I far preferred Mondo’s design. That said, tastes differ, and I absolutely support your right to prefer Michael C’s. And when Tim yelled at the team… I ran back the DVR a dozen times just to bask in the righteous fury.

    @Jennifer: I applaud your resolve! And I’m sure you and your ladies will look lovely when the times comes.

  8. Klee says:

    Love PR, Love Tim Gunn, and I have say I love Michael C.

  9. kate says:

    Was I the only was who wasn’t horrified by the original dresses? I mean, yeah, cheap fabric and shiny, but they weren’t, for the most part, hideous. Or am I just painfully out of touch? I kind of liked the black & white one. (The vertical bow as just odd…)