It’s Your Wedding: Eat What You Want

There are a lot of different ways to choose a reception menu. Some brides and grooms opt for food that’s beautiful versus their actual favorite foods which are perhaps less fancy. Other couples try to please all of the guests with buffets or popular dishes or food that’s inoffensively bland. Still other soon-to-be-newlyweds go about choosing a reception menu using their wedding budgets as a guide.

There’s no one right or wrong way to choose a wedding reception menu, of course, though I will warn all the brides- and grooms-to-be out there that no matter how conscientious and inclusive you try to be when picking wedding food, someone is going to complain.

And if someone is going to complain anyway, why not lean toward a menu you’ll enjoy? Maybe even a menu that includes all sorts of yummy things that, for whatever reason, you don’t eat all that often! I absolutely love this photo of a Boston bride and groom in lobster bibs from Shang Chen Photography. Before I stopped eating meat, I couldn’t get enough lobster, but I can totally understand why some people might not relish the idea of cracking into some sweet, sweet tail in their formal clothes.

So wedding lobster? Maybe not the most popular choice from a guest’s point of view, but you know what? If you think lobster is just the best thing ever and it fits into your budget, do it. I know there are plenty of people who’ll disagree with me – I’ve actually read comments on another site from people angry that they had to eat Rice Krispies squares instead of cake at the wedding of a bride with celiac disease – but is it really fair to ask brides and grooms to serve something other than what they really want at their wedding receptions? I’d say no.

Even if the wedding reception menu a couple chooses is so weird, so out there that we can’t identify a single thing on it, why get peeved? It’s one night out of our lives, and we can always stop for a sub on the way home. Or wear a lobster bib. Or try something new.

5 Responses to “It’s Your Wedding: Eat What You Want”

  1. blossom October 8, 2010 at 7:49 am #

    I would try new foods i love trying something i have not eaten before. And really the where angry because the bride served food that she could eat without being really sick. Thats just so rude.

  2. Sarah C. October 10, 2010 at 3:33 am #

    The one thing that always shocks me with weddings is the sense of entitlement that many (not all, but an unfortunate number) guests seem to have. I’ve seen it in the weddings of many of my friends: their plans aren’t necessarily what THEY want, but rather what would meet other people’s expectations of a wedding.
    For example, neither my husband nor I dance. We don’t enjoy it, we never have, so we planned a reception that was socially oriented (food and drinks and lots of mingling). People still tried to nag/guilt us into dancing, when we were flitting around the room trying to be able to talk to everyone and spend at least a few meaningful minutes with each of our guests.
    As far as food goes, providing a vegetarian option if you’re a carnivore is one thing. Having a really expensive cake served when you can’t eat it yourself is another.

  3. Indian wedding planners October 16, 2010 at 4:06 am #

    The food at weddings is finalised most of the times keeping guests in mind because the bride, groom and their families don’t get enough time and also there’s no energy left in them to relish the food.

  4. Christa Terry October 16, 2010 at 11:15 am #

    @IWP That’s a good point – the only reason I got to have any food at my wedding was that someone (my stylist) was kind enough to bring me a plate of stuffed mushrooms before that ran out. I had something else, too, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. Basically, I filled up on cake and champagne.

  5. Twistie October 18, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    I know at my wedding, Mr. Twistie and I and our families all ate well. There was no way I was going to let myself be one of those brides who never slows down enough to enjoy her own party. Taking care of the photos before the ceremony and holding a quick receiving line on our way into the reception took care of making sure we saw and spoke to everyone. Then we were able to sit back and relax and have fun at our own shindig.

    We went for a hearty but simple bunch of picnic foods, partly because we were self-catering at a venue with no cooking or storage facilities (basically, you could choose between BBQ or self-catering and not only do I not care for BBQ, it didn’t include a vegetarian option and there was no way I was letting at least seven people go home hungry including my MOH and her husband(!) in order to eat something I didn’t even like much) and we were on a shoestring budget.

    If we’d had the budget and facilities, though, I might have splurged on some yummy lobster, myself. Anyone who liked could have joined me in eating it and everyone else could have had another option.

    Oh, and the most potentially controversial catering decision we made was to have individual fruit tarts instead of a cake because Mr. Twistie wasn’t a cake fan. Funnily enough, while I thought I might get some flak over that, it was a very popular choice in the end. So you never know, something you’re worried about serving might turn out to be the hit of the party.

    Me? I wouldn’t have rushed the table for the Rice Krispie squares, but I certainly wouldn’t have complained! I may not be a fan, but it was their wedding and the bride deserved a dessert she could eat without dire health consequences. The bride’s ability to enjoy the honeymoon is far, far more important than whether I find the sweet course particularly to my taste at one wedding.