Archive for October, 2010

Did You Know: The ‘Apache Wedding Prayer’

Monday, October 25th, 2010

Many brides and grooms, when considering ways to add some punch to a wedding ceremony, come across what is usually called the Apache wedding prayer or Native American wedding prayer. There are quite a few different versions, but goes a little something like this:

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead
and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion,
and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

The author of the Apache wedding prayer is usually unstated or simply listed as ‘source unknown,’ but apparently it’s not that difficult to find out who wrote it. According to Wikipedia, the Apache wedding prayer:

…was written for the 1950 Western novel Blood Brother by Elliott Arnold. The blessing entered popular consciousness when it made its way into the film adaptation of the novel Broken Arrow, scripted by Albert Maltz, and has no known connection to the traditions of the Apache or any other Native American group. The Economist, citing “One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding” by Rebecca Mead, has characterized it as “‘traditionalesque’, commerce disguised as tradition”. There have since been several different additions and alterations to the poem.

The Apache wedding prayer as it is usually recited today is somewhat different from the prayer in Blood Brother and Broken Arrow, and it’s not clear exactly when the prayer made its way into the public nuptial consciousness (and thereafter onto posters and plaques and greeting cards). What is known is that it definitely wasn’t adapted by Henry Wadworth Longfellow, as some web sites claim, since he died something like 65 years before Blood Brother was published.

So if you’ve been eyeing the Apache wedding prayer for inclusion in your wedding ceremony, you may be wondering if you should nix the idea. I say not if you love it! After all, plenty of couples include quotes and rituals from movies and books in their wedding ceremonies, and just because something doesn’t pre-date history doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Plan Ahead to Avoid Headless Chicken Syndrome

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010

If you listen to most people, you’ll think it inevitable that you won’t have the time or energy to enjoy your own wedding. After all, there are so many things to worry about on the big day: photographs, working out how to talk to everyone you invited, dealing with the crisis of a missing bouquet or a bridesmaid with a run in her stocking, fitting every expected tradition into the time you have the hall… and the list goes on.

The good news is you don’t have to spend your entire party worrying about how to fit everything in. Just take a few tips from me, and you can have as much fun at your wedding as I did at mine.

For Guys Who Want More Than Roses

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

A rose on the groom’s lapel? *Yawn* No, for real, if roses float your boat, then awesome. But if your groom and the groomsmen are bummed that there aren’t that many ways to express oneself in a suit or tux, you should definitely check out the fun and original boutonnieres at Fritts Rosenow Bespoke Boutonnieres.

These are just some ideas to get your mind racing – and who knew that boutonnieres could be so creative? Fritts Rosenow Bespoke Boutonnieres will create a set of custom boutonnieres based on just about anything… gambling, Star Wars, boating, you name it!

LOVE/HATE: The ‘Albino Asparagus’ Edition

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

When I first laid eyes on this amazing wedding cake from The Caketress, I’ll admit that white asparagus was the first thing that came to mind.

But after taking a closer look, I think I’m in love. I’m a huge fan of fondant-covered cakes because it’s such a versatile material to work with and The Beard even likes to eat it (many people don’t), but I think the idea of using rolled white chocolate as a cake covering is so fun and so clever. People will actually eat it! It looks interesting! And you’re definitely not going to see it at every wedding you attend!

So I love it all… this cake, the whole idea of using rolled chocolate this way, dipping things in gold, and, oh, white chocolate. I love that, too. How about you? Where do you fall in the fondant vs. chocolate non-debate?

Getaway In Style (or Rock the Bridal Suit All Day Long)

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Opinions vary on the wedding suit (as an alternative to the wedding dress), but I think that most brides-to-be would rather opt for a more casual sheath or a short cocktail dress before heading into the realm of the suit. Suits, I think, are too often associated with older brides and second-time brides having tiny weddings away from prying eyes. And this chick, Bianca Jagger, and my Omi aside, maybe not every bride can pull off the wedding suit. Or any suit. And that’s okay.

But some can and some do, older or younger, big wedding or small, first- or second-time bride, for a variety of reasons. Some brides like suits! Suits can be worked into a retro theme without actually having to be vintage. And sometimes a wedding suit is just the right thing to wear. I found this in the Monique Lhuillier Spring 2011 Ready-to-Wear collection, and I think it would make a lovely wedding suit or perhaps a getaway dress for the bride who wants to change into something more comfortable for the reception or honeymoon journey.

Would you say it’s a fine choice for the right bride or is it perhaps just not wedding-ish enough?

One Way Not to Stress Out On Your Wedding Day

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

stress free wedding planning

There’s a lot that can go wrong when you’re planning a wedding. Putting aside the big stuff, like someone changing his or her mind after all the deposits have been paid; meddlesome, mean, or un-supportive family; illnesses and deaths; and acts of God, there are all of the little things. Maybe your budget is too wee to afford the wedding favors that you really, really love, so you skip them. The dress you’ve been dreaming about is suddenly no longer available, so you have to go with an alternate.

And then the reception site you chose while remotely planning a destination wedding turned out not to be as nice as it looked in the pictures. Your bridal hairstyle is nothing like you expected. Your wedding cake is a little lopsided because you chose a budget baker. The lighting at the ceremony is all wrong.

Little things can add up to a lot of wedding day stress!

Many brides I know were stressing before the wedding: Will they flub their vows? Will the florist show up? Will my SO think I look beautiful? Will the tables look nice? And then stressing at the wedding: Are people dancing? Has everyone gotten cake? Are there enough favors? Did I visit every table? And some even stressed after the wedding: Do I look fat in this photo? Why was Uncle Al frowning so much? Did I inadvertently offend anyone? Did the guests ‘get’ the theme?

So knowing what I know, I loved this quote from Paul Bowers of the Married In College blog, sharing some post-wedding advice for those who want to tie the knot on the cheap:

The only people paying attention to the details are the ones planning their own weddings. Everyone else just wants to see you.

I’d add that people into party planning or weddings in general may also be scrutinizing the deets just a little bit harder than the average guest, but that’s it. Very few people at your wedding will realize that you have messy DIY favors or ditched the favors altogether, that you had to go with an off-the-rack wedding dress from the prom section of a department store because your dog ripped your designer gown to shreds, that your venue is not as classy as you thought it would be, that the guest book turned out not to match anything else at the reception, etc.

While all of those things can be incredibly stressful during the planning phase – especially when you’re two weeks away from saying your vows and you’re freaking out because omg that damn dog – don’t let them bug you on the big day itself. All those mistakes or omissions you can’t stop noticing? I can promise you that in most cases, 99% of your guests won’t notice them at all.

Are You Looking For Yet Another Wedding Cake Alternative?

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Not a fan of cake? How’s this for a wedding reception stand-in: Jelly. Or whatever we call it in the U.S…. Jell-O? I’ve always thought of jelly as being stiffer stuff than Jell-O. Leaf gelatin sets more firmly, and apparently Vege-gel jelly sets even firmer (but has a bit of a taste to it). You may be thinking, uh, Jello-O, what now? But hear me out. Jelly wedding cakes are gaining ground and might just be the next big wedding cake alternative.

Brides and grooms have to do it right, though. Chemical cherry? No, thanks. Think upscale – champagne, lychee, and less common fruits make elegant flavor starting points. And while you can have a stiff set jelly wedding cake that looks a lot more like a traditional wedding cake than you might expect, the fun of something like this is breaking out of the mold. You can have individual jellies presented on cupcake stands (like the one above from Bompas and Parr), jelly parfaits, amazing jelly squares with thin layers in different colors and flavors, or a molded jelly shaped to look like almost anything. Get creative, and have fun. As long as you *like* jelly, that is.