LOVE/HATE: The ‘Why Buy the Milk’ Edition
Last month, you may have read that Katy Perry enacted a ‘no sex before marriage’ rule with sex addict Russell Brand in the months leading up to her wedding. But holding off on the pre-nuptial nookie isn’t just a celebrity thing! I know at least a few couples who gave it a go, enacting a ‘no sex during the engagement’ rule that was made to be broken.
Keep in mind that I’m not talking about people who are saving themselves for marriage or anyone who decided to go celibate after doing the deed. These are couples who’ve been hitting the sheets up until one of the pair decided to put a ring on it, so it’s not a purity or chastity thing. Nope. It’s an excitement thing. They’ve been doing the deed up until now, but what a deed it’ll be if they haven’t done it for six months or twelve months or sixteen months!
So these are sex bans intended for wedding night enhancement. I can’t say I love the idea, but I don’t hate it, either. Whatever brides and grooms want to do (or not do) in the bedroom is up to them. But I do think it’s a little silly – the no sex before marriage dam has already been breached. If I figured these same people would have occasional sex bans to spice things up, it’d be one thing. But these sex bans are specifically tied to weddings. What do you think?
I think that planning a wedding can be stressful enough, and can sometimes even be a strain on the couple. And to outright ban a great way to de-stress and reconnect as a couple?
I can just see the couple getting in a lot more arguments than they might have otherwise…
I’m a fan of no-sex-before-marriage in general, though I’m realistic about it being an unpopular stand these days. Mr Carol and I abstained completely during our dating days. Surprised quite a few people because we’re both 50+ and had been married previously (they all thought we should live together, actually). But it worked for us and I do not regret it. And our wedding planning went off without any arguments or stress.
no-sex-before-marriage? nice but difficult
I think the ‘spicing-up’ quality is interesting, but I don’t think a wedding-related sex ban has to last months, unless you normally spend very little time together between the sheets. Really, just a few days should have you hungering for some hanky-panky, and that sort of small dry spell is likely to happen whether you want it or not during the last-minute stress of wedding planning, participating in wedding events, and greeting out-of-towners.
Eh. As long as they both decide on it I’m not gonna make fun or anything. But wouldn’t it suck if right after some poor shmuck proposes his fiance goes “Oooh. Btw…” LOL.
It’s definitely not something I’d do.
Not difficult at all. One merely says “no”.
(I am aware there are many people with a different mindset on this subject and do not intend to spend time trying to convice anyone otherwise. It worked for us and fits our belief system and we are very happy with our sex lives post-marriage.)
For my part, I don’t care what anyone chooses about their sex lives so long as they don’t burden me with the information. It’s none of my business what anyone else chooses in that matter, and they can’t make me have an opinion on it.
That said, I think each couple should do what works for them, whether it’s a sex ban or a nightly two-person orgy, or it involves the odd can of tuna and a wankle rotary engine. I shall simply stand here with my fingers in my ears singing LALALALALALALALALAAAAA! until the explanation stops.
“or it involves the odd can of tuna and a wankle rotary engine”
Well, color me intrigued!
I agree that everyone should do what’s right for them. I just got married last week & my husband & I did have a 2 month “sex ban”. After having been together almost 5 years (& living together for 3) we thought that holding off before our wedding might be a way to add some extra anticipation to our wedding night & honeymoon. It definitely served that purpose, but I don’t know if I’d recommend it for everyone. It seems like a great idea now that it’s over, but during the weding planning it added a lot more stress than we thought it would!
I’m just wondering that things like these tend to backfire and badly, they do. Great if the decision leaves a positive effect on the couple. Double-edged sword really.