Tell Me About: Alternative Engagement Rings
Alternative engagement rings… ask 10 people what that means and you might get 10 different answers, from sustainable gold and diamond rings and skinny hammered gold bands to gems from space and gold versions of acrylic silhouettes. And then, of course, there’s the beautiful Twistie’s silver frog! Some might say that any non-diamond engagement ring counts as alternative, but in this day and age? Really? (A sapphire engagement ring should not be considered out of the ordinary.)
Heck, there’s no rule stating that an engagement ring has to have a stone at all, much less a clear one – preferably a diamond or something close to it – in a solitaire mount. Or that the man has to give the woman a ring. Some women just don’t wear rings or can’t because of their professions. And there are women who do the proposing, and maybe they give their partner a ring, maybe not. There are couples who can’t afford a pricey ring and would prefer not to buy something cheap. Couples who would simply rather spend that money on something like a new washing machine for the house they bought together years before they got married. Some people like the look of that traditional big rock; some people would rather wear an onion ring than be caught dead in one.
Personally, I like alternative engagement rings. Actually, I just like rings. I’m not going to make any judgment calls when you come up to me with your Ring Pop and announce that you’re engaged. If it works for you, I’m thrilled on your behalf. Now you tell me: Did you or your intended choose an alternative engagement ring? Are you someone who strongly believes diamond engagement rings are the only ‘real’ engagement rings?
Image: Indiebride
First of all i don’t like dimonds – they are so cold… And in my opinion engagement shoul mirror the feeling. For me best gems are coral, ruby, smerald, pearls and amber. All in silver. No, for me the true engagement ring is the one given with love.
I strongly believe that diamond engagement rings are *tacky*, so I was thrilled when my fiance (who worked for years in a humanitarian aid organization and thus thinks diamonds are not only tacky but also generally a product of an unjust, dirty trade) presented my with a ring from etsy, handcrafted lovingly by a Portland hippie.
I proposed to my husband without a ring as it was a spur of the moment thing (we have our own on-ramp, it’s a funny, and totally us, story). We then went out the next day and spent about $40 on two matching stainless steel bands that we wore as our engagement rings, and our wedding rings are hammered titanium bands. Having an expensive stone in an engagement ring was not important to me.
In a couple of years after he’s more settled in his career and we’ve bought a house, we might look at upgrading, at which point I’d like something with a sapphire in it (his birthstone), but I don’t like diamonds, and won’t wear them. I’ve asked a couple of times what sort of ring he might have picked if I hadn’t beaten him to the punch and he didn’t know — mostly because he hadn’t thought about it that far yet.
Am I the only woman left who still likes diamonds!
As with anything wedding, my feeling on the matter is that whatever you want is fine, as long as it is a decision that was reached in a thoughtful manner. If a diamond engagement ring is genuinely what you want because you like them, and can afford one, then go for it. I know plenty of folks who have gone with something unusual.
One cousin has a tanzanite ring, although they had it custom made, so the original “ring” that her husband proposed with was actually made of a zip tie! Another cousin wears a simple silver claddagh, although she was given our great grandmother’s antique platinum and old mine cut diamond engagement ring, which is languishing in a drawer somewhere (not that I’m bitter about that or anything…).
The most beautiful engagement ring I’ve ever seen was rose gold with a pearl, but I know I’m way too reckless to get away with wearing pearl anything on a regular basis.
“I think amethysts are just sweet. They are what I used to think diamonds were like. Long ago, before I had ever seen a diamond, I read about them, and I tried to imagine what they would be like. I thought they would be lovely glimmering purple stones. When I saw a real diamond in a lady’s ring one day I was so disappointed I cried. Of course, it was very lovely, but it wasn’t my idea of a diamond.”
- Anne of Green Gables
I got a purple sapphire ring…I love it because 1) it’s my engagement ring, after all, 2) I love purple, and 3) most people don’t even know there is such a thing as a purple sapphire. =)
I’ve always loved amethysts but wanted a harder stone, so when I discovered purple sapphires, I was overjoyed.
There will always be naysayers; I’ve been told that I will get tired of my ring because it isn’t just diamonds. Ha!
A friend at work has the clear acrylic silhouette ring as her engagement ring, which I think is awesome. I think that as long as the person wearing it likes it, that is what is important.
On Criminal Minds recently, the murderous couple got married and she had a grape ring pop. Did you happen to see it, or was your mention of a ring pop merely coincidence?
My husband gave me a simple gold wire knot ring based on a silver version that I wore all the time then. When he gave it to me, I gave him my silver one (which he wore on his pinky since it was so small). I guess that means we were tied together.
We were held up a week before we got married and my ring was stolen — we never replaced it.
I have no problem with traditional diamonds (my sister has a diamond engagement ring which she wears constantly, even to the beach!), but diamonds are so not my personal style. If we were to do it again, I think I would be happy with any ring he’d give me, although I am pretty sure he would never give me a diamond — probably something without a rock.
I think I have mentioned here before my engagement trash can. It’s a really nice trash can. I don’t like wearing rings, so didn’t want an engagement ring. Would have been happy not to have a wedding ring, either.
I do, however, like earrings and I do like diamonds. My husband took the seven small diamonds from the wedding ring from his starter marriage and had drop earrings made for me, one with four diamonds and the other with three. They are different lengths and the coolest earrings I have.
My ring is a pretty little pearl ring in a twisted, organic-feeling yellow-gold setting. It suites me to a T: I’ve only ever worn pearls or opals(my birthstone).
I have received a lot of criticism over it though for not having any diamonds, to the point where I cringe whenever someone asks to see the ring. I don’t like diamonds, why would I wear a diamond ring for the rest of my life? That might work out great for other folks, but I shouldn’t be forced to adhere to that, nor should anyone else.
I’m always fascinated with traditions from other countries. In sweden it’s a rather new trend to give diamond rings as engagement or even wedding rings. Here the tradition is that the couple get matching bands for their engagement. At the wedding you give each other more personalized bands, often unadorned too. It’s become more common to give diamond rings as wedding rings, but most often those are what we call alliance bands, many tiny diamonds banded together instead of one large stone.
I myself want to get an alternative wedding band. Preferably in silver or platinum with lapiz lazuli/saphire. I’ve never really liked clear rocks or yellow metal.