As more couples pay for all or part of their own weddings, changes are happening in the way ceremonies and receptions are planned. My favorite change? The emergence of the involved, helpful groom who has an opinion about his upcoming wedding and is exciting to shoulder his share of the wedding planning work. In my dad’s day – as I’ve been led to believe – grooms mainly tried to stay out of the way of brides who had the final say when it came to just about everything. But now that grooms are footing some of the bill? They’re folding invitations that they helped pick out, assembling favors that they actually like, and more.
Some of these involved grooms-to-be are even blogging, though admittedly they tend to give it up after they tie the knot unlike some people – hello! – who just keep on going on about wedding planning like nothing happened. There are even wedding planning guides for grooms! Unfortunately, some parts of the wedding industry have yet to catch up to the trend of the helpful groom and continue to focus only on brides-to-be and their desires. I’ve even heard stories of wedding vendors who, when meeting hetero couples, talked only to the bride and all but ignored the presence of a groom. Uncool, vendors, uncool. Was The Beard as involved as he could have been? I plead the fifth on that one and state for the record that I can be a a force of nature when it comes to party planning.
How about you? Is your other half – if your other half happens to be a groom – pulling his weight? If not, and you want him to (some brides don’t), then TELL HIM THAT. Don’t just stew in a sauce of resentment until you explode. Your groom, like many, may have been told by a well-meaning male relative that he shouldn’t participate in wedding planning. Inside many an uninvolved groom is a helpful groom waiting to come out.
Image: Peacock Photography