Quickie Question: When Did You Know?


There comes that moment when you just know. You look at that person across the restaurant table, or in the next seat at the big game, or wherever you happen to be and you just know. This is the person you’ll marry. This is the person to whom you’ll entrust your happiness.

Sometimes it’s a big thing that tells you. Sometimes it’s something seemingly trivial. Sometimes it’s just a feeling you get at a random moment… but it happens to pretty much every person who gets married.

Weirdly enough, my moment came on my first date with Mr. Twistie. It’s really not as creepy as it sounds. We’d known each other for more than five years before we had our first date. We’d been friends. But when he asked me out, I really wasn’t thinking about forever. I was just getting back into the dating scene after breaking up with a guy I’d spent a lot of heartache on. Forever was the last thing on my mind.

And then Mr. Twistie took me on the ultimate first date I hadn’t ever thought about. He took me to Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, where we went browsing through all the used book stores, and used record stores, and the hat shop. He took me to lunch at Fondue Fred, and even dared to share garlic fondue.

Then he took me back to his place, where we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies. He even chose that romantic moment in the film when the passing knight slashes the throat of the Famous Historian to kiss me for the first time.

That was it. The moment. As silly, and bizarre, and even tasteless as it is… that was the moment I knew I was going to marry this man. I fought it. I told him at the end of the evening that we should probably leave our options open for at least the next few months. I was panicked. And yet, there was a little piece of me that was absolutely certain, absolutely at peace, and absolutely on top of the world doing a merry jig on at least cloud twelve. I never dated anyone else.

It’s been more than twenty-five years since that first kiss, since that moment when my heart spoke up loud and clear, telling me this was where I would be at home. Never once have I doubted. Never once have I wavered in my commitment. The heart wants what the heart wants, and mine chose Mr. Twistie for all time.

So what was your moment when you knew? Was it a big moment, or a little one? Did you fight it or did you surrender immediately? Have you ever had reason to doubt or change your mind?

Tell us all about it.

4 Responses to “Quickie Question: When Did You Know?”

  1. Margo A. September 26, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    I don’t have an answer to your question, it happened so gradually, but I have to say I’m sitting here sighing fondly over your own description. It’s so sweet!

  2. Twistie September 26, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    Thanks, Margo A. And there’s a lot to be said for gradual, too.

  3. Katie September 27, 2011 at 7:34 am #

    I don’t think there was ever ‘a moment’. Like Margo, it happened gradually. But I’ve never had to doubt or fight it either, even when he took forever to propose (almost 8 years. I proposed to him after 2.5 but he insisted on doing it!)

  4. Alexander September 27, 2011 at 11:39 am #

    I guess, you just know. I knew it from the first moment I saw my wife!