Archive for September, 2011

Who’s Wearing the Pants?

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

You know, the groom doesn’t always have to wear pants and the bride doesn’t always have to wear a dress.

Sometimes doing things a little differently works out really well, as in this rather fabulous wedding held in Poland for this lovely couple, Kabinka and Wisnia.As you can see, she’s wearing trousers and a gorgeous frock coat while he’s wearing a long skirt. Both accessorized with joyful smiles.

You can get a better look at both outfits in this photograph:

After the formality of the ceremony, Kabinka removed her coat for the reception and danced the night away looking fresh and comfortable and every inch a bride:

And the lesson we learn here is that unconventional isn’t something to fear. Follow your heart, whether you’re choosing a life partner or what to wear while marrying the person of your dreams. It’s all about staying true to who you are.

(all images by Ania Roth Photography via This Charming Wedding)

Keeping a Sober Head at Your Reception

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

You’ve spent the last year arguing with vendors, wrangling wayward bridesmaids, stretching an inadequate budget, tying tiny ribbons on things it’s entirely possible nobody but you will notice, and generally hovering on the precipice of your nineteenth nervous breakdown. Now it’s time to party!

But after all of this effort, you really don’t want to spend your wedding night getting plastered. Well, maybe you do, but if that’s the case, just move along, nothing to see here. If, on the other hand, you have concerns about overdoing the festivities and don’t like that idea, just follow me after the cut for some sage advice on how to have a great time but still keep your head at your wedding.

Goodbye DADT, Hello Love

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Navy Lt. Gary Ross did something very special to celebrate the end of the US military policy of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ He got married.

This morning, the United States became the thirtieth country in the world to allow gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members to serve openly in the military. And that means that after eleven years, Ross can tell people about his life partner, Dan Swezy.

Despite the fact that they live in Arizona, the couple decided to marry in Vermont. Only part of the reason was the fact that same-sex marriage is still illegal and unrecognized in the state where they live. The other reason was that Vermont is on the east coast, and therefore would allow them to marry at the very first possible moment after the ban against gays serving in the military was lifted.

And so at midnight, the pair exchanged vows, with Ross in his full dress uniform, just like any other military groom. Swezy, a civilian, wore a tux.

All the same, Ross doesn’t plan to make a big deal out of his marriage when he returns to his post at Fort Huachuca.

“Even though the law goes away, it will still be the white elephant in the room until everyone comes to terms with it.”

But he notes that the change in the law means that he no longer has to lie ‘several times a day’ to hide his sexual orientation.

I hope you will all join with me in wishing these two gentlemen every happiness and a long, loving marriage.

I only wish my father, a two-war Navy veteran, could have lived to see this day. He’d have been truly happy to see this.

Quickie Question: Fairy Godparent, Yea or Nay?

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Sometimes when you look over your wedding budget and the choices available within it, it’s tempting to imagine a fairy godmother coming along and making all your dreams come true with a flick of her wand. There are times when you’re dealing with yet another family squabble over the menu, the guest list, the seating arrangements, or the wording of the ceremony, it occurs to you that life would be much better if someone else came along to sort it all out for you.

But when I watch bridal reality shows that provide these services… I’m reminded that there are fairy godmothers, and there are fairy godmothers. After all, the one from Shrek looked so very sweet and kind and helpful. But I think I’d still rather deal with her than David Tutera.

Then again, I don’t give up control easily. Given the choice between an easy path and one that is overgrown because rational people no longer follow it… yeah, I’m going to break out my weed whacker and go attack those thorny wild berry bushes.

On my wedding day, I needed stuff to be doing with my hands so I could be calm and collected. I may have had a budget of two shiny nickels and been doing projects the morning of the big day, but that’s the sort of wedding I honestly wanted. I needed to have my hands in everything. I wanted things simple and handmade. I wouldn’t have known what to do with a lot more money.

Other brides honestly would prefer not to have to concern themselves with anything on the wedding day. There are many women who would find someone swooping in and doing everything for them, no expense spared, the very definition of awesome.

And then there are those whose preference would be somewhere in between. They’d love to have someone hand them wads of cash to use as they see fit.

So what about you? What would you do if a fairy godmother suddenly appeared and offered to simply make your dream wedding happen in a puff of glitter and pink smoke? Would you accept whatever she created, ask her to leave the money bags behind and use it your own way, or send her packing with a flea in her ear? Do you have yet another approach I haven’t considered?

Remember, there is no right and no wrong answer on this. There’s simply what approach you’d prefer.

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Horror, the Horror! Edition

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

Hey everybody,it’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness!

You all know how this works. I pick a picture that’s simply howling into the night for a good, silly caption. You provide said captions via the comments function. Next saturday, I choose a winner, and we all rejoice and do the tango in the streets… well, I pick a winner, anyway.

This week’s image comes to you from the ‘I thought I got all the monsters out of my closet years ago’ file, and it looks a little like this:

Ready… set… snark!

Dad Surprises Cornwall Bride with Red Carpet Moment

Friday, September 16th, 2011

Samantha Poser isn’t famous. Neither is her new husband, Adam Kerby. All the same, Samantha’s father, Phil, wanted to give her something special for her wedding. Phil, who owns a carpet store, decided that his daughter deserved a red carpet… so he and his staff created it for her.

This, though, isn’t the interesting bit. That would be the fact that he managed to keep the carpet a secret from Samantha until they walked out their front door to head for the church, some 200 meters away.

Phil, who owns a carpet shop, had gone to elaborate lengths to fool his beautician daughter into thinking that she was going to make the bridal entrance on the back of his elaborately decorated quad bike.
The bizarre ruse worked as Sam braced herself to mount the unusual steed before it was revealed she had her very own magical red carpet for the fairy tale stroll to the church.

Clearly this isn’t an idea for everyone. Access to that much red carpet, and the ability to get streets cordoned off for the walk to the wedding venue make it impractical for most of us. And, of course, there are brides who would rather be swallowed whole by the Earth than walk a red carpet to church. In this case, however, it seems that the ability to get the practicalities dealt with, the personality of the bride in question, and the weather all cooperated to make Phil’s vision a happy reality.

Samantha and Adam are currently honeymooning in Egypt, and I hope that all of you will join with me in wishing them a long, happy marriage full of charming surprises.

Five Tips to Keep Your Budget Out of the Red

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Finish this sentence:

A) is the root of all evil
B) makes the world go around
C) makes my head spin like the girl in The Exorcist
D) changes everything

Chances are if you’re in the throes of planning a wedding budget – or trying to stick to one – you’re rapidly learning it doesn’t go as far as you’d like it to. With the national wedding budget average hovering in the neighborhood of twenty grand, and some regions (New York and San Francisco, I’m looking at you) breaking into hysterical laughter at the concept that someone could ever throw a wedding on such a paltry sum, it’s easy to assume that you’ll need a sudden lottery jackpot win, or at least a hefty personal loan, to get you to the alter in reasonable financial shape.

Look, I’m not going to sugar coat this. If you don’t have a lot of cash, then it’s a lot harder to put on a significant wedding bash. Everything from clothes to party decorations to food to facility rental costs money. Some of these things may seem to cost more than they’re worth. But there are ways to help you have the wedding of your dreams without winding up in huge amounts of debt. And I’m going to share five of these tips right now.