The Joy of Blank Slates


When you announce you’re getting married, everyone has expectations. You have expectations, your parents have expectations, sisters, cousins, aunts, co-workers, and random strangers on the street have expectations. Vendors certainly have expectations, as do officiants.

But the fact of the matter is that 98.735% of all of those expectations are based on what is typically done, not on what’s required. The actual legal requirements of getting married here in the USA are pretty minimalist. They’ve even decreased in the years since Mr. Twistie and I tied the knot. When we got married, California still required blood tests. Now most states have dropped that requirement. Several have opened their legal arms to same-sex couples. More will no doubt follow.

And when it comes to religious requirements, well, the vast majority of those are concerned entirely with the marriage ceremony itself. Several faiths do require premarital counseling, and a couple have requirements that may affect your menu. Still, most faiths are more concerned with the wording of the ceremony than the activities at the reception.

When you get right down to it, everything from the bride dressing in white to the tossing of the bouquet and garter, to carrying flowers, to going on a honeymoon afterwards is a matter of tradition or fashion. It’s not written in stone.

That means if you want to wear an unexpected color, like this light green Vera Wang gown from her 2012 collection:

… you’re perfectly free to do so.

You can also go short, like this imaginative piece by Etsy artist lizarietz:

or if you want to wear pants:

That’s fine, too.

And that goes for venues, menus, flowers or substitutes for them, seating arrangements, linens, transportation, and the make up of your wedding party.

If you can imagine it, chances are someone is providing it somewhere. If they aren’t… maybe you should think about whether it’s a good idea to provide it to the world yourself.

When the possibilities are endless, you can let your imagination soar until you find precisely what will make you happy. Fly, my pretties! It’s well worth the trouble.

3 Responses to “The Joy of Blank Slates”

  1. Sorta Southern Single Mom October 8, 2011 at 6:36 am #

    We were walking around downtown for First Friday and one of the bridal shops had a black wedding dress…not bridesmaid, but bridal… my friend and I were both thinking that was a little over the top… but the green, the green is lovely!

  2. Twistie October 8, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    I’m on record as hating black at weddings. I make no bones about that. I don’t really care if it’s the bride, the bridesmaids, or guests, it’s not my thing on an epic scale.

    That said, it is a traditional color for brides in the Germanic and Scandinavian traditions, and I stand by my statement that what floats your boat is what you should do absolutely.

    And I do kind of adore that shade of green.

  3. michele October 8, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    Not a fan of black dresses especially for flower girls. Anyway to each their own. A wedding should be what you want not what is expected.