Archive for October, 2011

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Please Don’t Eat the Daisies Edition

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

Hey everyone!

It’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness. You all know how this works. I find a picture that’s simply wailing into the night for a good caption. You provide said captions via the comments function, using your funniest bones. Next saturday, I declare a winner and we all do a triumphant samba into the night.

This week’s image comes straight from the Animals Gone Wild file, and it looks a little like this:

Ready… set… snark!

That Cuts the Cake!

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Have you ever wondered how to figure out how many people that cake you just made will serve at a wedding? Turns out the good folks at Wilton have a handy guide to help you out.

Oh, and if your cake isn’t going to be either round or square, don’t panic! They include equally handy guides for tiers shaped like hearts, flowers, ovals, and paisley, too.

If you’re the one baking your own cake (or you’re giving the job to someone close to you who is a great baker but hasn’t done this level of work before), you can also find great tips on the site for how to construct, decorate, display, and even transport this all-important confectionary creation to your reception site.

There is a section of recipes, but I have to say they didn’t impress me much. Frankly, I would look elsewhere.

But if you need to find a speciality pan, pastry bags and decorating tips, or display items to get you going, Wilton is a great place to start.

LOVE/HATE: Basic Black

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

The other day, legendary bridal designer Vera Wang came out with her new line. It’s a little different. It featured a lot of black and black with nude gowns.

I think my views on black at weddings are well known around here. I’m not a fan. I do, however, think that if the bride wants to wear black… well, it’s her wedding and she’s absolutely entitled to wear any darn color she likes. I’ve even seen a couple wedding gowns that feature black that I (GASP! CONSTERNATION!) have actually found both pretty and bridal.

These… I have to say that I’m not loving most of them, as wedding gowns or even as just gowns. I have no doubt that since they’re Wangs, they’re impeccably made and littered with exquisite details it’s hard to see at this size. Overall, though, they read kind of blah to me. The black on black on black is kind of oppressive and the nude just seems drab and sad. Then again, I think most tulle confections are better served by lighter coloration, such as white or pastels. Black tulle is something I appreciate more as a contrast than a major statement.

So yeah, I’m going with hate here. How about you?

Bridal Style?

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

This was the picture illustrating an article at by one Paula Joye on the dearth of style to be found in brides.

I don’t know about you, but this picture doesn’t look like any wedding day I’ve seen. It looks more like a scene from a comedy film about wedding excess, or an ironic bridal anti-fashion show.

In the article itself, Joye provides just one illustration of the way she believes that nearly all brides completely eschew good taste and redo themselves horrifically. She felt the bride in question would wear something along the lines of what Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy wore on her wedding day, but the lady went for a hoopskirt and tiara, bridesmaids in red dresses with puffed sleeves and more makeup than she normally wears. Was it all the excessive horror that Joye describes? I don’t know. She apparently thought that photograph was an apt illustration of how the majority of brides choose to look at their weddings. It may well be that her description is similarly exaggerated for effect.

But in one thing I do agree with Joye: it’s best to be yourself on your wedding day. Whether your style is typically fresh-faced girl next door, Burlesque babe, goth til it hurts, or sleek elegant lady, be the best version of that you can accomplish. Be aware that the camera can wash you out, so do wear slightly more makeup than usual (unless your usual is already taking this into consideration), and don’t be afraid to try a somewhat more dramatic style of dress than you usually wear, since this isn’t a typical day. Just remember who you are at your heart, and try to express it well.

After all, your intended chose you. Be you when you walk down that aisle.

Quickie Question: What Would Make it Worthwhile to You?

Monday, October 17th, 2011

When I’m watching bridal reality shows, I often wonder what the brides profiled are getting out of the experience. Okay, on Four Weddings, you get an chance at winning a fabulous all-expenses-paid honeymoon to a romantic location you probably couldn’t have afforded, plus free food, liquor, and dancing at three other weddings. Oh, and you don’t automatically get your reputation trashed on national television. On My Fair Wedding With David Tutera, you do get portrayed as a tasteless person who can’t plan her way out of a paper bag… but you do get a wedding you could never have afforded otherwise.

So yes, there are shows where I can see the payoff. It might not strike me as worth the downside, but I can see where someone else would consider it a reasonable price to pay.

But Bridezillas? The first few seasons there was a note at the end of the show that the couples featured got something like a three night stay at a honeymoon resort. I know I heard a rumor somewhere along the line that the couples get videotapes of their weddings, but I’ve never seen anything official that either confirms or denies said rumor. And these days the final credits say nothing about that honeymoon, either.

So I have to ask myself… what are these women getting out of the experience other than a chance to appear on national television as an object of derision and ritual scapegoat? After all, the point of the show is to behave as horribly as humanly possible for the amusement of others and the whitewashing of lesser bridal naughtiness on the parts of other brides. And they don’t appear to even be getting a honeymoon out of it anymore! Not that the honeymoon would have made it worthwhile to me in the first place.

In fact, I can’t think of anything that show could give me that would make up for being a national object of horror and disdain. Frankly, I stand firmly with Iago on this one: “But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed.”

Okay, they aren’t filching anything. Women are lining up around city blocks for the chance to hurl their good names to the four winds and anyone with a basic cable package. I’m just not sure why.

But I’m going to ask here and now, what would be your price? Do you even have one? What do you think could tempt you to audition for Bridezillas?

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Disturbing Bridal Snack Edition: The Result

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

Oh my dearie darlings!

Last week I inflicted this deathless (though we’re still hoping!) image on you all:

… and two of you took up the challenge with a breathless combination of aplomb and silliness that impressed the judge (moi) tremendously.

In the end, though, there can be but one winner. This week it’s the ever-delectable Cassie for this… somewhat open-ended and twisted response:

When Julie said she wanted to have kids, Greg hadn’t thought she meant it quite this way!

Congratulations, Cassie! And thanks to those who played.

Oh, and Cassie? I absolutely agree that this is one of the stranger wedding pictures out there. Still, I’ve actually seen worse. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Invitation Wording For Smart Cookies Part 4

Friday, October 14th, 2011

So far this week, we’ve talked a lot about how to word wedding invitations. Not surprising, since this is a wedding blog and we talk a lot about weddings here.

But every once in a while, the actual wedding is held quietly and privately, or is held very far away from many friends and family members, or the happy couple wants to honor some form of milestone by reaffirming their commitment to one another publicly, or the relationship may not be recognized legally where the couple lives, but they wish to make a public commitment anyway. No matter which case is the one that fits your situation, you still need to understand how to word your invitation so that it is both polite and understandable.