Archive for November, 2011

Sometimes Simple is Better

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

I don’t know how many of you, like me, are fans of the show Frasier. While I never did really get interested in Cheers, from whence it spun off, I loved the adventures of the Crane family. And, like many, I had a great fondness for the courtship of Daphne and Niles.

Funnily enough, I think what struck me most and made me happiest about their entire love story was that when the Big Moments happened, Niles was usually trying to make them Momentous… and then they just happened quietly, naturally, and in ways that could never have been matched – let alone outdone – by the huge, elaborate plans he originally made.

Quickie Question: What Would Make it Perfect?

Monday, November 21st, 2011

(Image via Jared Wilson Photography)
Okay, so yesterday I asked you all what would have utterly ruined your wedding. But we’ve talked quite a bit about things going wrong, disasters, etc. of late. But this week is all about thankfulness and positive thinking, isn’t it?

And so I thought I would ask you all what single detail beyond the fact you get hitched would make your wedding perfect? And for all you old married ladies like myself, what happened that really made the day for you?

For me, it was a moment with my father. As a child he’d played the violin in a classical quartet. Then he gave up playing for decades. Oh, he loved music. There was always music in the house. He and my mother loved going to the opera together, and Dad was always looking for a better recording of his beloved Beethoven. But he didn’t play, anymore.

That is until one day when we were at a party with a bunch of musicians, and one fiddler asked him to hold her instrument while she popped into another room for a minute… and he put her fiddle under his chin and began to play. No fanfare, no warning. Just all of a sudden, he was making music again for the first time in about fifty years.

After that, he pulled down his old fiddle, restrung it, and began to teach himself new music.

Well, on my wedding day a couple years later, he brought along his fiddle and played a couple tunes with the band. Even just typing this out, I’m choking up at the memory of my father making music at my wedding to a musician. At the time, Mr. Twistie just pulled me a little closer and handed me a hankie. It was the only time that entire day that I cried, and the tears were pure joy.

So what’s your wedding dream or wedding memory that makes everything worthwhile?

Quickie Question: What’s Your Nightmare?

Sunday, November 20th, 2011

(Illustration via
I have to admit, when my wedding came along the only thing I could imagine would be a nightmare for me about it was if something happened to stop the wedding itself, if I suddenly couldn’t be married to Mr. Twistie.

Even the fact that I didn’t get my wedding gown (entirely custom made) delivered to me until the night before the wedding didn’t faze me. I decided three days before the wedding that if it didn’t get finished in time, I would just race down to the mall the morning of the wedding, buy the first whiteish, longish dress I found that fit reasonably, and get married in that.

I was, however, a little concerned two weeks before the wedding when we had a sudden spate of rain showers. I was getting married out of doors and had no backup plan. I finally told myself that if it rained the day before or looked like rain that day… well, we would just get in contact with everyone we could and hold the wedding at my father’s and my house.

In short, no matter what I utterly refused to believe a disaster would be a disaster if that day wound up with me married to Mr. Twistie.

But I know not everyone can be that zen about things. There are issues that really do matter, even if you try to tell yourself they aren’t the most important ones.

So I’m curious: what would be/would have been your worst wedding nightmare? What do/did you fear might go wrong?

Tell me all about it, folks!

LOVE/HATE: the Rainbow Connection

Friday, November 18th, 2011

(Image via Hanle Productions)
So. Mismatched bridesmaid dresses. I know we’ve talked about this before, and the response has been pretty much universally favorable. Most of the time, though, we talk about dresses that have something in common with one another. We’ve talked about brides who give the dictum: ‘find a tea length dress in navy blue’, or ‘wear anything you like so long as it’s black and hits your knees.’

Not every bride gives even that much direction. Here, for example, the only thing that matches about these is the bouquets are the same color/shading as their dresses. Even with that, the lady in very pale pink on the right and the girl in the aqua number have bouquets that aren’t a precise match.

The dresses are every color of the rainbow, the hems hit everywhere from mid-thigh to floor-length, there are strapless, and halter, and spaghetti straps, and one even has cap sleeves. Most of the shoes are black with a mid-heel… but the girl in the pale pink seems to have ivory shoes. Their hairstyles are different. Though most seem to be wearing their hair down, there are a couple who appear to have put their hair up. In short, there is absolutely not one thing these women have consistently in common other than the fact they’re holding bouquets and standing with the bride.

Me? I love this. Every one of these women looks happy, confident, and rather fabulous in her own right, which makes for great photos. These all look like dresses they can wear again. How often does that happen? And while a glance makes it clear that each woman has her own look, it all seems to work happily together.

Yep, this is made of love.

What do all of you think?

Disaster vs ‘Disaster’

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

Diann Valentine is coming to rescue you! Well, if you had a wedding that didn’t turn out so well, that is. The celebrity planner who has worked for Usher, Toni Braxton, and a host of other famous folk is now doing her WETV series I Do Over to help the hapless whose wedding dreams crashed into a solid wall of reality.

So I watched an episode.

The Santinis had been married for eighteen years (hey! that’s how long Mr. Twistie and I have been married!) but never got over the horror of their wedding day. You see, they hired someone to make the bridesmaids dresses who didn’t get them done in time. She had promised delivery on the day of the wedding to the church… and apparently nobody thought that plan to be potentially fraught with disaster.

The big day arrived, but the bridesmaids dresses didn’t, much to the consternation of all aware of the situation. For some reason passing all understanding, when the bride’s grandmother began foaming at the mouth about having the bridesmaids wear the groomsmen’s shirts, nobody pressed a cold compress to her forehead or called the paramedics. Instead, they listened to her.

Not Your Mother’s Wedding Gown

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

If you’re a bride in your twenties, chances are your mother wore something very similar to this. Yes, it’s the quintessential eighties wedding gown. And somewhere out there, a loving mother is trying to make her daughter wear it when she walks down the aisle.

But Mom, while this was the top of the pops in 1983, it isn’t anymore. And remember how you didn’t want to wear your mother’s wedding gown that looked like this?

Quickie Question: Theme Weddings, Yea or Nay?

Monday, November 14th, 2011

(Photo via New England Fine Living)
Okay, so theme weddings are not for everyone. I know they’re controversial, too. And of course not all theme weddings are created alike. For every fabulous Midsummer Nights’ Dream inspiration, such as the picture shown above… there’s a really scary Hello Kitty wedding, like this one:
(Photo via GadgetHer)

And then there are the ones that start out just fine, except that the theme is never fully embraced, leaving the whole thing looking a little odd and sad, like this:
(Photo via

After all, if the bride and groom don’t get into the spirit of the theme… where’s the point? I can only tell this is a piratical wedding because there’s a really bad Johnny Depp impersonator squatting on the faux railing of the faux ship against a faux battlement. If you’re going to do pirates, do pirates, say I. You know, like this couple:
(Photo via Wedding Photography Directory)

My feeling on the subject? Theme weddings aren’t for everyone. But if there’s a subject dear to your heart (pirates, superheroes, Star Trek, fairy tales, or whatever) and you’re willing to take it to eleven… then go for it. The people who love you best will understand, and quite probably play along.

If, on the other hand, you aren’t willing to go for broke with the theme, don’t bother having one. And if you think you want a pirate wedding because pirates are hot right now? I’d give it a pass. If you didn’t love pirates before Johnny Depp made them extra cool, and you won’t love them once Captain Jack Sparrow hangs up his tricorn, then it’s not really a theme that means something to you. I would never, ever advise someone to use a theme that isn’t deeply important to both parties on a bone-deep level.

So that’s my thought on the subject. How about all of you? How do you feel about theme weddings? Love them? Hate them? You tell me.