Archive for November, 2011

Psst… I Want a Word With You

Sunday, November 13th, 2011

Dear Wedding Reality Show Creators,

I’d like a word with you over here, if I may, just for a moment in between your busy schedule of exposing the ‘reality’ of weddings to us all.


Stop it. Just stop it.

What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?

I’m talking about the way brides (and the men you identify as the ‘woman’ in gay male couples) are portrayed in your shows.

It would be one thing if there were truly any variety in how you portray us. Then it would be about individuals. But as things stand, you have two ways of illustrating what it is to be a bride in modern America, and neither portrait is either flattering or accurate to the vast majority of women getting married.
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Put Your Best Foot Forward

Friday, November 11th, 2011


(Image via Scotimages)
Let’s talk for a moment about feet, shall we?

The simple fact is that on your wedding day, you’re likely to spend a lot of time on your tootsies. Standing around in your wedding finery trying not to let anything get wrinkled, walking up the aisle, the receiving line or table hopping to greet guests, dancing, and so on and so forth… chances are at some point your feet are going to get mighty tired.

And while I can hear plenty of brides to be chorusing ‘no problem, I’ll have flip flops!’ I happen to think there are a plethora of better ideas for foot happiness that would not make the Manolo weep into his favorite pair of peeptoes. Hey, it’s your wedding and I can’t stop you, but I can offer alternatives to consider.
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… And I Wasn’t the Sickest One

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

First off, I’d like to apologize for the dearth of articles the past couple days. I’ve been down for the count and that fever was making it impossible for me to focus my eyes. I feared the rambling gibberish I might inflict on you all if I attempted to write under the circumstances.

Better now.

But while I was sick, I used the opportunity to scroll through some back episodes of Bridezillas on my DVR. Yeah, I know, it probably didn’t help me get better any quicker, but it’s easier to watch through a fog, I find. Still, there are enough unspoken cultural assumptions in the show that I find it valuable to me as a bridal blogger to watch the painful dog and pony show.

All the same, while I expect a bunch of abusive behavior on the part of the subjects (after all, that’s the point of the show) every once in a while someone comes along on that show who I think isn’t necessarily putting on an act for the cameras. One of these was Johanne.

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Srsly?

Monday, November 7th, 2011


Every once in a while in the wild and wooly world of weddings, a story comes along to which I can only respond with a hearty “and what was this person smoking, I wonder?”.

One of these stories is that of Todd Remis and his attempt to sue the living daylights out of his wedding photographer.

It seems that when Mr. Remis married his blushing bride in 2003, the photographer on the scene from H&H photography studio failed to capture the final fifteen minutes of the reception, including the bouquet toss and the last dance. Mr. Remis was also disappointed to find that the videotape of the six-hour event was only two hours long.

Okay, missing the bouquet toss – while it probably wouldn’t make me lose eight years of sleep – was a mistake. But the last dance is hardly an iconic wedding moment in most peoples’ lives, and believe me, six hours of every sneeze and electric slide is more than the most hardy of home movie viewers usually wants to see of even their own wedding. I would have advised Mr. Remis to tell all his friends he didn’t think H&H did a good job and leave it alone after that.

But Mr. Remis seems ill-acquainted with the art of Letting Stuff Go. He’s demanding that H&H restage his entire wedding at a cost of some $48,000 and bring all the principals together again so that they can capture those precious fifteen minutes… never mind that the marriage ended in divorce in 2009. Incidentally, that’s also the year he got around to filing his lawsuit citing among other things ‘infliction of emotional distress.’ He also claims that the photographs were ‘unacceptable’ in terms of lighting, color, poses, and – I don’t know – flavor?

Among the many fine reasons this seems unlikely to be a practical plan is the fact that Mr. Remis’ ex-wife has apparently returned to her native Latvia leaving no forwarding address.

The judge in the case – Justice Doris Ling-Cohan of the State Supreme Court in Manhattan – is allowing the breach of contract part of the lawsuit to go forward, but has dismissed much of the rest of it, including the emotional distress claim. She even went so far as to quote the title song from the film The Way We Were in mentioning her suspicion that Mr. Remis’ motives may have more to do with his ‘misty water-colored memories’ of his erstwhile marriage than his satisfaction or lack thereof with the services of H&H photography studio.

Mr. Remis, please. Your marriage is over. Your wife left the country. For the sake of your own sanity, if no other reason, just drop it.

Things to Consider Before Choosing

Sunday, November 6th, 2011


Everybody knows there are lots of things to think about when choosing a wedding gown. Price, how long it will take to get delivered, what accessories to choose, whether you prefer jewels or lace as accents, etc. But there are some other things to think about before you make that big decision that you may not have considered yet.

Let’s take a look at a couple of those things, shall we?
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Design for a Public Wedding

Friday, November 4th, 2011


Say hello to Scott Gornick and David Gorshien. This, as you might be able to surmise through the festive clothes, joyful embrace, and hail of confetti, is their wedding.

Oh, and see that huge head behind David? Yeah, that would be Scott’s boss, Conan O’Brien. Scott is the costume designer for Conan’s show. So when Scott and longtime love David decided to tie the knot while the show was in New York – where their marriage would be legal – Conan offered to marry them himself on the show. One quick ordination by the Universal Life Church later, he was legally empowered to do just that.

The grooms wore fabulous brocade jackets designed by Scott and – in Jewish tradition – were married under a chuppah. The one big question seems to have been which groom would smash the glass at the end of the ceremony. Two grooms, two glasses, no problem.

While the ceremony was largely light-hearted and did include several gentle ribs from O’Brien (You never designed me anything like that!), it was also a serious wedding ceremony. Both men got a bit choked up reciting their custom vows. When Scott vowed to “… fill your every day with so much love” I have to say I got choked up, too.

Go here. Watch the video, if you missed it on television. Bring a hankie.

Scott, David, mazel tov!

Just Relax

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

In a world where everybody thinks they get their say-so in other peoples’ weddings, the culture builds up this single day as the most important in a woman’s life and then shames women for caring about it, puts pretty much all the onus on a single woman’s shoulders and then merrily tells her she’s too incompetent to handle the pressure, it’s a wonder more brides don’t wind up feeling like this on their wedding days:

Certainly shows like Bridezillas make their money off of the idea that all brides are insane, and so they show you a lot of examples of that. And who among us hasn’t known a woman who spent much of her wedding day in a fog of tears and stress?

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Take a couple tips from me, and you can walk that aisle with all the aplomb and zen of a Jedi Master… only prettier than Yoda.
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