It’s a well-known fact that Martha Stewart is the final word on putting together a gorgeous, classy wedding. She’s written books about it, and publishes an entire magazine on her upscale homespun wedding style. And now on her website, she’s put together a slideshow on the seven ‘new’ ‘etiquette rules’ she has devised.
Funny thing, only one is specifically an etiquette rule and that one was in my copy of Miss Manners from the late eighties in which she points out that hand written invitations are, in fact, even more correct that engraved ones, which are more correct than printed ones. My mother’s pre-war etiquette manual agrees with Miss Manners from the late 1930′s.
The other six ‘new’ ‘etiquette rules’ are, in point of fact neither new nor specifically about etiquette. Okay, I’ll allow the one about the bride not being required to wear white as having a foot in etiquette, but only because after Ancient Rome, white was a color forbidden to many brides until the 1960′s, when enough people decided that white was just a color and it was nobody’s business whether the bride’s hymen was intact or not.
And I would point out that far from being a new concept here at Manolo for the Brides, I have personally written about colorful wedding gowns as recently as July, and it’s a subject I’ve been covering since the very first week I wrote for this blog way back in may of 2007. It’s a subject I’ve brought up multiple times a year ever since.
Martha goes on to assure you that you can choose anyone you like for your wedding party, regardless of gender. I’ve been telling you that for years, as did Crista before me. Also in the news, you don’t have to have an equal number of each gender of attendant and they don’t all have to wear the exact same thing.
A woman I know well had her brother as her only attendant back in the 1970′s, I had five bridesmaids and four groomsmen at my wedding in 1993, and there are documented cases of women choosing their grandmothers as bridesmaids. What’s more, this is a subject that’s been covered multiple times right here in this blog.
Engagement and wedding rings that don’t feature diamonds? Pfft! We’ve been writing about those for years. Neither Crista nor I wear a diamond. In fact, my engagement ring, as many of you will remember from regular mentions of it, doesn’t have any jewel at all. It’s a sterling silver frog prince, and I’ve been wearing it since 1990. Heck, according to Martha, Anne of Green Gables was breaking etiquette when she started sporting a pearl engagement ring around the turn of the century. The fact is that while diamonds have been a popular stone for engagement rings, they have never, ever under any circumstances been a requirement.
Okay, I’ll admit we haven’t done a huge number of articles on making your flowers and favors the same thing, but we have on occasion suggested using items of personal significance as table decorations, and giving away floral arrangements after the wedding.
The final ‘etiquette rule’ Martha has invented says that you can serve what you like for dessert; it doesn’t have to be cake. Again, while cake has been both popular and usually expected for dessert at weddings for centuries, I’ve written more than once about the individual fruit tarts Mr. Twistie and I served in lieu of cake at our 1993 wedding. I’ve written often over the past couple years about dessert tables, candy bars, ice cream sundae stations, and other options that aren’t cake. And I was not the first to write about that on this blog.
What should you take away from all of this? Why, that if you want to be on the cutting edge, forget Martha! Follow the Manolo!