There have been films about them. There have been etiquette columns written about them. Taylor Swift became famous for being one just last month.
What are they? Wedding crashers.
In Swift’s case, she and current beau Connor Kennedy arrived at a family (his side) wedding where he had been issued an invitation (sans plus one) to which he had failed to RSVP in good time. The pair were asked to leave by the bride’s mother, and the incident was all over the world within hours, between his Kennedy name and her musical fame.
Maybe it’s the sort of weddings I’ve been attending all these years, but in nearly fifty years I have yet to actually experience one arriving at the same wedding I did.
After all, not one of them involved someone famous getting married, many have been held in fairly private places, and the majority of people invited still believe in formally answering formal invitations.
All the same, there are people who crash weddings at large, public venues with easy access, and I’ve been to several of those weddings over the years, too. Nope, still haven’t witnessed a wedding crasher in its natural habitat.
I’m wondering, have any of you ever been to a wedding that got crashed? Did your own get crashed? What happened?
Tell me all about it!
I have seen brides talking about this on internet chat forms. It seems to happen fairly frequently at large hotels and or wedding venues, where guests occasionally get confused. I saw a post by one bride said she ended up spending time with a couple of her crashers because they were more fun than her guests!
I also know of one venue here in town that is located on a pedestrian mall that has lots of restaurants and bars. The venue fees include security for the doors and the patio area, because tipsy people ignore the building signage and assume it’s just another bar. It’s a problem. But Taylor’s date was rude and shouldn’t have subjected her to that.
I had a cousin who didn’t RSVP (though his brothers and mother did) and I had arguments with Mum about whether or not I should have a place for him. I refused, on the basis that if he couldn’t tell me he was coming, I didn’t have to feed him. Luckily, he didn’t show up anyway.
I attended a wedding of a dear friend. It was a very small affair in a hotel room suite in San Francisco. At the last minute the bride’s best friend asked if she could bring her brother. The bride declined for numerous reasons. He came anyway. He was newly single, good looking and received a lot of attention from many of the single ladies at the wedding including the bride’s sister. The bride was not happy. His presence changed the entire dynamic of the wedding and reception. Definitely a crasher.
I am not sure if this story defines ‘crasher’, but I was newly going out with a guy. On the first or second date, he asked if I wanted to attend the ceremony of a wedding with him. Naive little me said yes. Also, it was just the ceremony, so no big, right?
Well, afterwards, he decided he wanted to stop by the reception before everything started to hand the happy couple his wedding gift (as he is Chinese, it was a red envelope). We met them at the reception site, he gave them his gift, and the bride mentioned two places would go to waste if we didn’t take them.
Frankly, for all that I didn’t know this woman(and still don’t), she is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. She’d been diagnosed with cancer before her big day, and she still came around and told the table to be nice to me because I was her friend’s girlfriend. The wedding was a beautiful affair, and even though it (really) didn’t work out between me and the guy two weeks later, I always remember her kindness.
However, I still call myself a ‘crasher’ for being there.
Not sure if she could really be considered a Crasher or not.
There was a specific cousin and her family that R did not want at our Wedding. When his Mother mentioned that she had not seen them on the list, he told her he was not inviting them, and why. She issued a verbal invitation behind our backs. Since the reception was a buffet, the extras were not a financial burden, but they were as annoying as he feared.
I had not one but TWO crashers at my wedding. One was a friend of a friend, who saw the invitation at my friend’s house and due to his boundless narcissism, assumed that I had simply forgotten to invite him, and showed up anyway. Since our wedding was a Renaissance picnic in the park, it wasn’t really a problem, so no one did anything about it.
The other crasher was a pleasant fellow, rather casually dressed for the occasion (costumes were optional) who was the life of the party. He stayed to help with the cleanup, bless him, and when he noted that there was still half a keg of beer, asked if he could have some to share with his friends. When my mom told him to go ahead, he gathered up all the empty champagne bottles, wheeled his shopping cart out of the bushes, and proceeded to fill them up. He also thankfully accepted a lot of leftover food, and trundled off happily to stage a party for a group of people who lived in the park. As a friend of mine pointed out, giving the leftover food and drink to the poor was not only a mitzvah, it was also very historically accurate!