In Arlo’s Darkest Hour

I’m not in the obituary business here at Manolo for the Brides. Death rarely gets a mention around here, and rightly so. We’re here to talk about weddings, and all the hopeful stuff around that grand institution of marriage.

But sometimes death brings perspective. Yesterday, I was saddened to read of the death of Jackie Guthrie, wife of folksinger and all around fabulous entertainer Arlo Guthrie. This is what they looked like at their 1969 wedding:

… held on their front lawn with Judy Collins serenading them.

Forty-three years later, she’s gone from liver cancer, but the love remains.

Here’s what Arlo had to say about their marriage:

“We didn’t always like each other. From time to time there were moments when we’d have our bags packed by the door. But, there was this great love that we shared from the moment we met – a recognition – It’s YOU! And we would always return to it year after year, decade after decade and I believe life after lifetime.”

I can tell you from experience that you won’t always like your spouse. If one of you is a performer, spending weeks, even months at a time on the road, the hardships are even harder. There are moments when I look at Mr. Twistie and wonder what the hell I was thinking all those years ago.

But when it’s right, when there’s true love, you get past those moments. You find ways to appreciate one another and you reconnect.

For Arlo and Jackie, it worked for forty-three years and four children (as well as her child from a previous liason with David Crosby) and ten grandchildren. That’s not a bad legacy to leave behind.

So the next time you don’t like one another very much, take a moment and see if you still love one another. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get past the moment.

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