It’s been quite a while since I talked about brides in glasses here, so I thought I’d discuss it a bit today.

Most of us know Dorothy Parker’s quip:

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses

But you know what? Men do. And women do. And some of those men and women who do make passes at girls in glasses wind up marrying them.

If you’re one of those brides who wears glasses, there’s good news! In decades past, nearly everyone would have advised you to leave off your specs and simply crash adorably into walls when you aren’t specifically on someone’s arm. This, though, is bad advice and the world is beginning to get the heck over it.


(Illustration via Postcards and Pretties)
Now more and more bespectacled brides are being encouraged to wear their glasses so they can see all the action clearly on their big days. Of course if contact lenses work for you and that’s what you’d rather do, I definitely have your back.

But if you usually wear glasses, then consider wearing them on your wedding day, too. After all, you’re going to spend your future with someone who knows you need corrective lenses. You should look like you. In fact, it might even be a good excuse to go out and get a great new pair of frames!

And if you really consider glasses a part of your personal style, you might even work them into the decorations in other ways.

(Illustration via Project Wedding)

The wedding veil.

Of all the bride’s possible accessories, this one is probably the single most controversial. To some, a woman is simply not a bride without one. To others it’s a symbol of virginity, lost to those who have sowed a wild oat or two before settling down and getting married. To yet others it’s a vicious reminder of the legal inequalities that for centuries kept women second-class citizens with no rights to their own property – or even their own children – until enough rabble rousers of both sexes managed to get women the vote and other legal protections.

Me? I just never liked wearing one. I had to in a couple plays I was in over the years, and I found the experience annoying. When I was planning my wedding, I knew from day one that there was no way in a million years of llama stampedes that I was putting one on my head again, if the choice was up to me.

Historically, the veil did start out as a specific requirement of all brides. In ancient Rome, it didn’t matter whether or not you were a virgin: if you were getting married, you wore a flame-colored veil. Period. First marriage or fifteenth, you wore it. Like another color better? Tough. It was flame-colored.

Over the centuries, though, this changed. Bridal headgear tended to be either a festive ring of flowers or else a version of whatever the currently accepted headgear of women in that area during that time. Brides wore hennins, gabled hoods, strands of jewels, or hats depending on when and where they were getting married.

And then at the very end of the eighteenth century, a world-wide mania for classical Greek and Roman styles hit everything from Architecture to women’s fashions. The veil was back for everyday wear. Soon it began being used for brides – in particular first time brides – again. And this is where things get odd.

Eventually fashions morphed into less and less classical styles and into the start of the Victorian sillhouette with the nipped in waist and very full skirt. The veil was replaced by fussy bonnets… but many first-time brides continued to wear veils. The bridal veil is the fashion version, in many ways, of an insect trapped in amber.

Whatever your personal feelings about the veil, it’s okay. Wear it. Don’t wear it. It doesn’t determine whether or not you’re a virgin or a tool of the patriarchy. You’re just as married whether or not you put a piece of lace and tulle on your head. The only way it really matters is whether you choose what makes you happy.

Over the years, pretty much every wedding planning book, magazine, blog, and zine I’ve ever read has suggested using more filler and less flowers to save a couple bucks on this major accessory… but how about we just cut out the flowers altogether?

(Illustration via The Wedding Talk Blog)
Gorgeous, isn’t that? All those delicious herbs! Dry it and use the results in cooking for months to come. Talk about savings plus repurposing!

It also has historical precedent behind it. You see, once upon a time bridal bouquets weren’t masses of flowers: they were handfuls of herbs meant to ward off bad luck and evil spirits. Over the years that simple gesture to luck has turned into an accessory that ranges from simple to sumptuous, minimalist to maximalist.

(Illustration via Floral Verde LLC)
For a rather spectacular display on the minimal side, I love this bouquet of silver tree with just a dash of ribbon and a pretty pearl pin.

Or consider using another sort of traditional filler to make the bouquet. For instance, I’m quite entranced with this gorgeous cloud of baby’s breath and stephanotis:

(Illustration via Kirsten’s Wedding)

A little bit of outside-the-box thinking can show you all kinds of wonderful ways of making your wedding special without breaking the bank.

But wait, there are other great accessories at Lo Boheme!


Then again, there’s no denying the delicate beauty of the Frankie Bridal Halo. It’s an ivory satin wrapped wire strung with delicate strands of swarovski crystals and adorned with a combination of vintage (1930s and 1940s) and new millinery leaves in shades of champagne and gold. To get a better idea, here’s a detail photo:

They also have flowers, shoe clips, ring pillows, and a variety of other rather gorgeous details to make a wedding just a little more spectacular. Oh, and rush orders are often available with a small extra fee.

The simple fact is that on your wedding day, you’re likely to spend a lot of time on your tootsies. Standing around in your wedding finery trying not to let anything get wrinkled, walking up the aisle, the receiving line or table hopping to greet guests, dancing, and so on and so forth… chances are at some point your feet are going to get mighty tired.

And while I can hear plenty of brides to be chorusing ‘no problem, I’ll have flip flops!’ I happen to think there are a plethora of better ideas for foot happiness that would not make the Manolo weep into his favorite pair of peeptoes. Hey, it’s your wedding and I can’t stop you, but I can offer alternatives to consider.

Pick a heel height you’re used to and comfortable wearing for long periods of time. Note that this will not be the same height for everyone. Some women can wear five inch heels all day and not be troubled with pain or agony. Others (such as yours truly) get a nosebleed from an inch and a half. Really think about what heel makes you comfortable for long periods of both dancing and standing around. And while you’re at it, think about other style options that make your feet the most comfortable. Do you need extra arch or ankle support? Find shoes that will give you just that.

If you’re worried about a significant height difference between you and your intended, don’t be. Look, you know how big the difference between your heights is. So does he. So do all of your friends and both families. I barely come up to Mr. Twistie’s shoulder, and on our wedding day I wore flat shoes (dancing shoes, in point of fact, so they had really thin soles, to boot, as it were) and he wore a tall top hat. The photos look great, because we had a good photographer and because we were entirely ourselves. Let your photographer worry about getting good angles on you as a couple. That’s why you’re paying a professional.

Consider wearing a pair of shoes you already own. Yes, I know a wedding is a great excuse to go out and buy a new pair of expensive shoes, and if that’s your decision then I say have at it and enjoy. But don’t simply rule out the idea that the perfect pair of shoes is already in your closet. After all, the shoes don’t have to be a perfect color match to your gown, and the shoes you already have are already broken in for maximum comfort.
(Image via Love the Schultzes)

If you do buy new shoes, get them enough in advance that you can break them in properly. The last thing you want is to discover on your wedding day that your new shoes are giving you a nasty blister or rubbing your foot raw somewhere. So make sure to wear those new lovelies around the house until you have them as comfortable as… well… old shoes.

Make sure you have places to sit at your reception, not to mention opportunities to use them! Enough chairs will make a huge difference, so make sure they’re handy. And don’t over schedule the day. Give yourself some breathing room to simply enjoy your own party. That way if your feet start feeling tired or sore, you can do something about it. If necessary, deputize someone to make you sit down every couple hours during the day.

Take good care of your feet in the days leading up to the big one. Pamper them with a nice pedicure or massage… if you’re not too ticklish! Frankly, I can’t have either one done to me. But whatever you can do to make your feet happy, whether it’s having that massage or simply putting them up for a while, go ahead and do it.

Your feet are not fashion accessories. They are an important part of your body. Make them as happy as you can on your wedding day. After all, you want them happy for your honeymoon as well!

But what if you’re not married to the pillow idea? There are other ways of having the ring make it up front and center.

You could put it in a bird’s nest:

What could be better for a rustic wedding of two ornithologists? Or, you know, two people who just have a thing for bird’s nests.

And that’s not the only alternative idea going for ring pillows.

You could always use a lovely flower:

That one might be particularly nice if your ring bearer doesn’t happen to be a boy.

Or how about a starfish?

Or, if your bent is more toward the supernatural than the natural, you might take a tip from the couple on Offbeat Bride who recently shared their Ark of the Covenant ring ‘pillow.’

However you get them where they’re going, have some fun with it!

(I am still waiting for copies of my mom's wedding photos, hint hint!)

Turned out, they were just right for a backyard semi-formal faux rustic wedding that was only attended by 10 people and involved a dinner reception at a restaurant in Salem, MA in October. With cake first, of course. And the brides loved them – I’d been almost hoping to score one as a keepsake for me, but there were two spoons and two brides so what can you do, right?

Also from Monkeys Always Look!

And another, from Etsy seller jessicaNdesigns

There is definitely no shortage of people stamping spoons out there, and since the spoons are usually thrifted or vintage or found silverware, you’re going to spend a lot less on a wedding cake topper made of spoons than you will on most other cake toppers. Are you having a semi-formal faux rustic backyard wedding? Would spoons work for you, do you think?

I’m having the hardest time finding a veil for my wedding. I like the one that they had me try on with my dress but I don’t want anything covering my face, and I think I might want something smidge softer. In other words, maybe made out of regular tulle, not that netting, though that might be too tricky to find. I would want some sort of flower or decorative doohicky on one side. I simply can’t wrap my head around paying $50+ for $1 worth of tulle.

Yes, I suppose I could make my own, and I am a crafty person, but I have yet to find a decent crafts store up here in Arlington (I used to live right next to a Jo-Ann’s SuperStore, sob!) and plus my life is crazy right now. (3-month engagement to wedding timeline, fiance’s kids are moving in with us for the summer starting this weekend, and I am in charge of a big event at work that’s happening the week after the wedding.) That said, if you know of an easy step-by-step tutorial, I might be willing to give it a try.

I did try to cut up my waist-length veil from my first wedding, but that didn’t work so well. Oh, and I know the “not covering my face” part has more to do with how I wear the veil than the veil itself. Basically, I just want a hint of tulle referencing a veil without actually being a VEIL or all up in my face. So, in a nutshell…

1. Should I be searching for any terms other than “birdcage veil?”
2. Do they exist at a reasonable price? Or should I just suck it up and spend the $50?
3. Should I just make it myself?

Well, Toni (and everyone else reading this), I have also balked at the notion of spending umteenbajillianty dollars on what adds up to a dollars’ worth of netting. There are artful and interesting bridal veils out there that I believe are absolutely worth the money, but I also believe that there are plenty more that can be replicated at home by anyone with even the smallest aptitude for the crafty arts. And since you’re open to the idea of DIYing a veil – and a naturally talented soul – let’s take a look at that option first.

The simplest possible DIY bridal veil?

I found a great DIY bridal veil tutorial at CraftStylish that will walk you through making a very simple, custom-length veil. I’d wager you could easily modify the tutorial to be quite short, so you’re only, as you put it, referencing the veil. And the simplicity of the design makes it easy to add the sort of embellishments that seem most appropriate. The comb ensures you can place your DIY bridal veil and have it very much NOT hanging down in front of your face. Only drawback? The tutorial suggests rolling the hem with a serger. Satin bias tape to the rescue?

Jane from Sara Gabriel veils

I’m picturing something like the Jane veil, except a bit shorter and with a little something more going on in the embellishment department. And heck, it has raw edges so you don’t need the bias tape or the serger!

For more embellishment, try this!

As for what kind of “flower or decorative doohicky” you’re thinking about, the sky is the limit. CraftStylish also has a pretty easy DIY veil tutorial – this time a fascinator – that features feathers, buttons, and some little wirey beady things that you could take or leave depending on your preference. Too much? Only you can say, but it certainly offers a satisfying amount of decorating in the doohicky department! Find the tutorial here.

But three months is one helluva short engagement, so maybe you don’t want to be futzing around making DIY bridal veils but you also don’t want to spend the above mentioned figure of umteenbajillianty on a veil, which is why in the end I suggest looking at Etsy for a seller who has something close to what you’re looking for and is willing to do a relatively fast custom order. In high quality bridal tulle, of course.

As to your specific questions, here are my answers: 1. I’d try short veils, simple veils, tulle veils, etc. in Google image search just to see what comes
up. 2. Like I said, Etsy! So many veils cost way too much – I’d try DIYing it before spending $50 if you’re not OMG VEILS VEILS like some brides
are. Not that there’s anything wrong with loving them or hating them. 3. Doesn’t hurt to try!

And perhaps, now that this is posted here, my fantastic readership can weigh in. Know any uber fab sources for short and sweet bridal veils that are reasonably priced for the bride who wants a veil, but would rather put those extra few hundred dollars into the cake budget? How about excellent DIY bridal veil tutorials?

Why you shouldn't put seeds in your ears?

And the view from behind...

Is it me? No. Is it the bridal veil alternative for every bride who wants something different? No. But I still love it. I think it’s fabulous. Wacky and strange and fabulous, just right for the bride who’s looking for a bridal headpiece that is going to stun and wow her guests. Would you dare to wear something this outrageous? If so, I want to give you a bridal high five!

How about floral ice cubes? Which your wedding caterer may be able to provide. And aren’t that hard if you’re handling your own wedding catering. You can order edible flowers in bulk online, and floral ice cubes can make even simple things like water feel more luxurious.

Easy pretty touches for the DIY bride (or your caterer)

Or if flowers on ice aren’t your thing, consider spicing up your groom’s and groomsmen attire with floral ties for the guys. At one wedding, the groomsmen’s ties coordinated with the maid of honor’s dress, and the effect is really striking and fun.

Floral ties on the guys? Gorgeous!

Tiny touches can be anything, from mismatched, thrifted embroidered linens on your reception tables to something like puzzle place cards. What tiny touches will make your wedding extra beautiful?