Back in the day (where the day in question is high school) I used to love those huge angle wings made of real feathers. A few people I knew had them and wore them every Halloween. Too bad the most creative costumes they could come up with were “naughty little angel” and “saucy succubus,” which reminds me of a quote from Mean Girls: Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

This post isn’t about skimpy costumes, however; it’s about wings. Specifically, it’s about colorful, gauzy, glittery fairy wings. One day I was looking for pictures of purple wedding gowns and I happened upon this picture:

I don’t know anything about the wedding, the happy couple, or the bridal party, but I do know that the bride sourced her fairy wings from On Gossamer Wings, purveyor of fine wings and (coming soon!) tutus. She is certainly rocking those wings, though I’ll admit that I didn’t even notice them at first because I was so besotted with her gown and her new hubby’s kilt. How can you not love a man in a kilt?

Back to the wings…my mantra is and has always been “Do your own thing, honey!” I will argue to the death (or to the boredom, whichever comes first) a bride’s right to wear fairy wings on her wedding day, but goodness gracious I would not wear ‘em myself.

I was browsing Manolo for the Big Girl just the other day when I came across this comment posted by one prowlcat:

ah yes! the poor taste in wearing bare-shouldered, backless, plunging-neckline wedding dresses in religious ceremonies. vera wang what have you wrought? also brides with crowns or tiaras. brides rejecting the veil, but keeping everything else. its all symbolism; borat will not put you in a sack and carry you away if you wear a veil. its traditional. dyed to match shoes, however, are not. and no flip flops at weddings, even in the jungle!

Now I do detest dyed-to-match shoes — though I’ll admit to fancying them when I was eight or so — and wedding flip flops, particularly the ones embellished with all manner of lace and rhinestones are indeed an abomination. But I can’t say I harbor any vitriol toward brides who choose to walk bareheadedly toward matrimonial bliss.

It was Vera Wang who said, “Other than the wedding ring, [the veil] is the most symbolic accessory a woman will ever wear.” I believe it was Never teh Bride (hey, that’s me!) who said, “Tradition be damned — honey, you’ll be just as married if you say ‘I do’ while wearing jeans and a bad case of bed head.”

There are as many reasons to ditch the headgear as there are to wear it proudly. I, for example, can’t stand having stuff in front of my face or flipping about my head, and thus find anything remotely veil-like entirely uncomfortable. Some brides don’t care for the potentially patriarchal origins of the veil tradition, whether or not it actually has its origins in bride-nappers tossing blankets over the heads of their prey or fathers tricking gullible young men into marrying the wrong sister. And I’m sure there are brides out there who think veils are just plain unattractive.

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At my aunt’s wedding in 2006, the individuals charged with decorating the reception space scattered a great many faux rose petals indoors and outdoors. The plastic petals that landed on carpet and tile were easily swept up at the end of the event. As for the fate of those that landed outdoors…who can say? My guess is that they blew away in the wind and found their way into some sorry gutter somewhere.

Not exactly the environmentally friendly choice, eh? For outdoor tossing, you’re better off going with something like fresh or freeze dried rose petals, lavender buds, or “ecofetti,” a biodegradable, water soluble confetti wedding toss created by Ecoparti. The third option flutters gently to the ground like traditional confetti, but can be hosed away or left where it falls to be cleaned up by the next rainfall.

Ecofetti is the new safe and accepted wedding toss with no cleanup worries. Water-soluble and completely biodegradable confetti – either hose it away or let nature help with the cleanup…The perfect alternative to rice or birdseed, no slipping or staining, and ecofetti flutters easily to the ground. The vibrant colors are lighter and fluffier than the pastels – the pastels look more like colored rice!

I’m of the opinion that dried petals are best because they’re natural and relative easy to fish out of one’s bodice after landing in inappropriate places, but if you’re dead set on something more confetti-ish you could do worse than ecofetti.

What did your guests toss at your nuptial celebration?

The best pre-wedding gifts I received were not linens or cake pans. I liked the jewelry best. Well meaning relatives gave me necklaces, bracelets, and earrings they thought I might like to wear on my wedding day with the caveat that I shouldn’t feel obligated to wear them. And I didn’t, because I’d already picked out my own custom jewelry.

The jewelry I received didn’t end up going to waste, however. I wore some to the rehearsal dinner and some to the post-wedding brunch. Some I wore way before the wedding and some didn’t get worn until after I was wed, but all of it got worn. So if you know a bride who likes shiny stuff, don’t assume she has all the jewelry she needs. Whether or not she wears your gift when she says her, “I dos,” you can rest assured your gift will be much appreciated.

All of the lovely earrings above are available from Eve’s Addiction, and all are reasonably priced so you don’t have to break the bank buying holiday gifts. No, you can do that when it comes time to shell out for the shower or wrap something up for the wedding. According to this article, weddings are becoming “a serious pocket drain” for guests. I tend to agree–between gifts, travel, accommodations, and the necessary new outfit, other people’s nuptials are expensive!

I officially finished the first draft of my book last night–it was technically already done as of this past Sunday, but then I was reading it over, which meant there was a lot of, “Oh my gosh, what was I thinking using that word” and “This sentence has just got to go.” It has been a looooong two months, but there have been some nice little surprises to lessen the load.

Last week, I was lucky enough to receive some samples from Placetile Designs, which brightened my day considerably as my mail usually consists of nothing but mortgage insurance adverts and coupon booklets. I received some of these:

And one of these:

Company founder Kristin Bowen came up with the wonderfully clever idea of using erasable ceramic tiles as place cards and favors at her own wedding in 1999, and her guests loved them. The concept evolved to include all sorts of neat things, like wine cork place card tiles, menu tiles, napkin ring tiles, table number tiles, tiles for identifying foodstuffs, and a bunch of other lovely stuff you can write on with dry erase markers. So far, the wine stoppers are at the top of my potential book release party favors list.

For bigger, complicated receptions where there will be lots of attendees who don’t know one another, place cards (or at the very least, table numbers) are a must. I’ve always personally preferred place cards that double as favors or are integrated into favors because I like when everything in a tablescape has a definitive purpose. I’m envisioning a table with a erasable table number tile and wine stoppers or tags printed with guests names. If the bride and groom send the table number tile home with a guest, it automatically becomes a to-do list tile. Such is the beauty of being able to erase and rewrite.

On the off chance that the stuff from Placetile Designs is a little out of your price range, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You can decorate your own erasable tile place cards and table numbers using the instructions here. Be aware, however, that you need to find tile that works like a dry erase board because some tile will hold onto the marker permanently. Check to be sure that what goes on can indeed come off before you buy bulk tiles, then go nuts with the paints!

I wasn’t really sure what sort of tags to append to this post or what sort of words to put in it. Just look at this and tell me if anything even relatively sane comes to mind…

I don’t know about you, but my main TP concern is that IT’S THERE WHEN I NEED IT. If it’s on the roll as it should be, I don’t much care if it’s white, off white, printed with a damask pattern, pink, purple, blue, yellow, or monogrammed. At over four bucks a rolls, this has got to be one of the weirdest themey items I’ve ever come across.

Now, being that we’re already on the subject of TP–and how did that even happen? should I blame the malfunctioning stove leaking gas into my environs?–I remembered today that I never posted a pic of the 2007 Cheap Chic Weddings toilet paper gown contest winner. Oops…hope they’ll forgive me if I link to them now. Here she is, Hanah Kim, TP seamstress extraordinaire:

I am consistantly amazed at the gowns these gals create because I wouldn’t even know where to begin! I’ve got The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weddings on my reading list, but I believe that the book suggests crafting makeshift gowns from tablecloths, not TP.

I was lucky in that a friend with mad sewing skillz offered to make my wedding garter. She did, as I knew she would, an amazing job. I am fairly anti-toss when it comes to bouquets and undergarments, but I wouldn’t have tossed my garter even if I was a fan of the practice. Why wear one if you aren’t going to toss it? I personally liked having a little something colorful under my gown. I guess it could have been my saucy little secret, but I ended up showing it off to about half of my guests.

I would have shown these garters I found on Etsy off, too.

This piece was created from salvaged materials by Bayou Bijoux. It’s listed as a headband, but she suggests that many of her customers were them as garters.

Piperwan created this garter from a handmade purple and periwinkle ribbon rose. Her ribbon roses rock!

And Mia Von Mink makes all manner of garters, including custom pieces, from vintage trim, antique lace, and real pearls.

When you’re planning to wear a garter somewhere under your skirts, it may as well be a special one. You can always get a toss garter from an Amazon seller if you’re dead set on having your new spouse stick his hands up your dress in front of your whole family. Just kidding…sort of. I’ve been at weddings where teeth were used for things other than chewing cake.

If you wore a garter, did it get tossed into a crowd of unmarried menfolk? Did your new hubby remove it with his teeth?