This morning’s HuffPo wedding page features an article by Charlotte Peters giving advice on choosing a wedding gown. Her main thrust: don’t pick anything fashionable, because it will one day look dated and you will wince every time you look at your wedding photos.

After all, minis are on trend right now, but – according to Peters – you will regret wearing one on your wedding day for the rest of your life the instant minis aren’t fashionable any more.

Me, well, I wouldn’t choose a wedding look purely because it’s fashionable, but to assume you’ll hate your own taste in five years because Vogue is now showing something very different is frankly insulting. I’m gearing up to celebrate my ninteenth anniversary with Mr. Twistie, and my wedding album makes me smile. Why? Because it’s an accurate and beautiful representation of an important day in our lives. Because it’s filled with pictures of people we love, some of whom are sadly gone from this world. Because no matter whether the clothes are dated or not, we all looked good.
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(Illustration via Intimate Weddings)

Not every bride wants a big wedding. Not every groom wants a big wedding. Some couples really, honestly do want a smaller, more intimate celebration with only a select handful of people in attendance. There are parents who absolutely support this, too.

And then there are those who don’t.

If you and your intended want a smaller celebration, but one or both sets of parents are fighting your decision, it can make wedding planning a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But if you can keep things in perspective and find small ways to be flexible, you may just manage to get both families completely on board with your smaller wedding.
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While planning your wedding, chances are you’ll hire several vendors to help your dreams come true. If you look around, you’ll find a lot of opinions about this. Some people think that wedding vendors are evil stooges of an international conspiracy. Others that wedding vendors are angels sent from Heaven above to aid brides in making their dreams come true.

But here’s the thing: wedding vendors are just people in business for themselves.

That means that some of them are wonderful, warm, highly competent people and others are greedy, unscrupulous people. Some mean well but aren’t really all that good at what they do. Others are excellent at their jobs but unpleasant to work with. Most, I believe, choose their profession because they truly enjoy helping make wedding dreams come true… but they aren’t doing it purely out of the kindness of their hearts. They’re doing it to make money.

What does that mean for you? It means that you need to be diligent about finding competent vendors who can do what you want done, and who can give helpful input. It means that you need to keep in mind that most vendors think their piece of the wedding is the most important one, so you need to really consider how important it is to you as an individual couple getting married. It means you need to dot your i’s and cross your t’s in business and legal terms. It means that you get to make the final decisions about what services you do and do not want from this vendor.

But there’s another side of the coin to remembering that your vendors are just people: you need to treat them with the same consideration as you treat any other person. If the vendor is going to be onsite during the wedding (musicians, DJs, photographers, cater waiters, etc.) you’ll need to discuss things like breaks, whether and how they will be fed, where they will park, and what time they will be done with the job.

Whether or not they will be on site, remember the feelings of your vendors. Treat them with respect and courtesy in a professional manner.

After all, behaving in an entitled, bossy way only makes people want to cross you more. Listen carefully and with an open mind to suggestions. Ask questions about anything you don’t understand. Don’t assume that the florist, caterer, or DJ you’ve hired is out to get you… unless you get firm proof of the fact. Communicate as clearly and as promptly as you can. Remember that this person is just doing his or her job – the one you hired him or her to do for you – and probably wants it to go well so that you’ll spread the word about their business.

Ultimately, vendors are people, and people come in all kinds of ways. Just try to be the best person you can be while dealing with them, and it will go a long way toward making things work out well.

Grace Kelly was the epitome of serenity and dignity when she married the Prince of Monaco.

But not every bride is so serene.
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(Image via WedLoft where you can see some great photos of and thoughtful advice for dressing pregnant bridesmaids)

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past couple weeks catching up with a bridal reality show I’d managed to miss for a long, long time. Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaids is yet another spinoff of the original Say Yes about shopping for wedding gowns at Kleinfeld in New York City. This one, though, is a spinoff of a spinoff and takes place at Bridals By Lori, featured in Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta.

The series is on par both in production values and general sorts of message offered with the other shows in the franchise. The search for a dress is presented as a power struggle with a villain, a damsel in distress, and the heroic members of Lori’s team arriving to save the day… or at least the appointment. And most often, in the episodes I’ve seen, at least, one or more bridesmaids take on the role of villain.

This can happen. I have actually been in a wedding where one bridesmaid ran amok and tried to change the entire wedding to suit her rather than the bride.

But my experience has been that the vast majority of bridesmaids, like the vast majority of brides, mean well and honestly want everyone to be happy. It’s just that not everyone may have precisely the same priorities and needs. Taking a moment to really think about your bridesmaids’ needs and priorities might just avoid some awkward situations along the way.
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This is an image from the wedding album of Thomas and Anneka Geary. No, it was not taken by a drunken wedding guest. It was taken by professionals.

The Gearys engaged the photographic team of Ian McCloskey and Nikki Carter to photograph their wedding at a price of seven hundred fifty pounds sterling.

Lest you think that first photo is a complete fluke, here’s another example of McCloskey and Carter’s Work:
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Planning and throwing a wedding is a stressful thing to do.

You’re making a major life change and throwing what will mostly likely be the biggest, most elaborate party of your life, and doing both while navigating huge, conflicting expectations from the most important people in your life.

No wonder a lot of brides have meltdowns and so many grooms shy away from doing more than saying ‘yes, dear’ in the planning stages!

Nevertheless, it is actually possible to reduce the stress involved and even have a really good time planning and attending your own wedding. And as it would happen, I have a few suggestions.
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