It’s official. Just seventy-two days after the wedding, and long before the eternal loop of the encore presentations (remember when they were called ‘re-runs’ and only watched by sad, lost people too tragically unhip to make time for the first airing?) comes to an end, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from brand-spanking-new husband Kris Humphries.

As is to be expected in cases like this, rumors and blame are rife throughout the media. Kardashian responded with a flurry of tweets denying that she married for the publicity and money (she assures us all the money from her wedding gifts will be donated to the Dream Foundation… though I do believe Miss Manners would council her to consider returning them to the family members, friends and well-wishers who gave them if they are still in good condition, and the last time I checked, cash has a pretty significant shelf life) and assuring us she married truly for love.

“We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments,” she writes. “These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!”

… and that’s kind of the thing, Kim. When you choose to live your life so very publicly, people will insist on having opinions about your life. It’s part of the contract. And some of those people will not think terribly highly of you, especially when you have a gigantic, public, media circus wedding followed by a marriage that lasts less than three months.

Kardashian insists that she just got ‘caught up with the hoopla and filming of the TV show’ to the point that she didn’t know how to break off the relationship. And I will say that Kim Kardashian is not the first bride to utter similar words of regret and confusion in the wake of a brief, disastrous marriage. I’ve heard more than one bride say that she really wasn’t sure when she was standing at the altar, but didn’t know how to stop the train at that point.

Look, what you or I think of Kim Kardashian as a person isn’t that important. Frankly, I prefer to think of her as little as her painfully public existence allows. But I think we can all take a moment to learn a Life Lesson from this sordid little tale: if you’re not really sure of the relationship, Don’t Get Married Anyway. A good friend of mine got married anyway. She’s now in the middle of a divorce and bemoaning the ten years she wasted on a marriage that never for one day made her truly happy.

If at any point along the way you find yourself seriously feeling trapped, unhappy, or fearful about being married to the person you said ‘yes’ to, slow things down. If you’re standing at the altar and the words ‘I do’ start to choke you, it’s still not too late. Don’t get married until you’re certain it’s what you want, and this is the person you want it with.

Your happiness matters.

Some brides have an easy time picking their wedding colors. After all, there are a lot of reasons a person can pick one or two colors out of all creation.

You may have a favorite color that’s become something of a signature in your life. It doesn’t matter whether that color is sunshine yellow, inky indigo, or bright fuchsia: everybody will know it’s from you when your invitation arrives in the mail, because it’s in ‘your’ color.
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This was the picture illustrating an article at Stuff.co.nz by one Paula Joye on the dearth of style to be found in brides.

I don’t know about you, but this picture doesn’t look like any wedding day I’ve seen. It looks more like a scene from a comedy film about wedding excess, or an ironic bridal anti-fashion show.

In the article itself, Joye provides just one illustration of the way she believes that nearly all brides completely eschew good taste and redo themselves horrifically. She felt the bride in question would wear something along the lines of what Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy wore on her wedding day, but the lady went for a hoopskirt and tiara, bridesmaids in red dresses with puffed sleeves and more makeup than she normally wears. Was it all the excessive horror that Joye describes? I don’t know. She apparently thought that photograph was an apt illustration of how the majority of brides choose to look at their weddings. It may well be that her description is similarly exaggerated for effect.

But in one thing I do agree with Joye: it’s best to be yourself on your wedding day. Whether your style is typically fresh-faced girl next door, Burlesque babe, goth til it hurts, or sleek elegant lady, be the best version of that you can accomplish. Be aware that the camera can wash you out, so do wear slightly more makeup than usual (unless your usual is already taking this into consideration), and don’t be afraid to try a somewhat more dramatic style of dress than you usually wear, since this isn’t a typical day. Just remember who you are at your heart, and try to express it well.

After all, your intended chose you. Be you when you walk down that aisle.

So far this week, we’ve talked a lot about how to word wedding invitations. Not surprising, since this is a wedding blog and we talk a lot about weddings here.

But every once in a while, the actual wedding is held quietly and privately, or is held very far away from many friends and family members, or the happy couple wants to honor some form of milestone by reaffirming their commitment to one another publicly, or the relationship may not be recognized legally where the couple lives, but they wish to make a public commitment anyway. No matter which case is the one that fits your situation, you still need to understand how to word your invitation so that it is both polite and understandable.

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For the last two days, I’ve been schooling you in how to properly word a wedding invitation. Well today we’re going to cover the burning question of how to work the wording when the couple in question is a same-sex one.

Traditionally, the form is ladies first. The bride’s parents were responsible for the entire celebration, and it was often the one day of her life that a woman got to be seriously celebrated. The world has changed, but ladies first is still the rule.

So how do we deal if there are two ladies getting married? What about when it’s two guys and there isn’t a lady to go first?
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Yesterday we talked briefly about the standard forms for wording wedding invitations… and now we start getting into the finer points. What do you do when your parents have divorced? What if they’ve remarried? Multiple times? What if one of your parents has, sadly, passed on?

Not to panic. There are forms that have developed over time, because no matter your situation, you are not the first one facing it.
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If you’ve never had to decide on the wording of a wedding invitation before, it can be a confusing task. Pleasure of your company or honor of your presence? Whose parents’ names come first? How about divorce or dead parents? Two grooms or two brides? Who gets listed first then? Can’t I just send out a viral evite?

Don’t panic. It’s really not as complicated as all that. You just need to know what the rules are and how they affect your choices. Also? Nobody ever died of an ill-worded wedding invitation, so it’s okay to lighten up a bit.
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