Archive - After the wedding RSS Feed

Do All the Housework, Stay Married, Die Young


Two studies were recently published concerning housework. One focused on how division of responsibility affects – or is related to – divorce. The other focused on how the division of responsibility affects – or is related to – overall health of both men and women.

The Norwegian study ironically entitled Equality in the Home, suggests that households in which women come home from full-time jobs and then do all the housework while hubby sits back and chills are less likely to wind up in divorce court than couples who share the work more equitably. Apparently Norwegian couples who share the housework 50/50 have a 50% higher likelihood of divorcing.

Co-author Thomas Hansen is, however, quick to point out that there is little indication of causality in the matter. He stated that the real answer is that couples who share the work are more likely to have a ‘modern’ attitude toward marriage in general as a ‘less sacred’ institution.

He does also note that women who have jobs of their own enjoy more economic autonomy and thus are more likely to be able to leave marriages that aren’t working for them.

But in a truly baffling – to me – moment, he also claims that there may be causality in the idea of blurred gender roles:

(more…)

No, No, It’s the Dress You Trash!


A lot of women have the recurring fear that they will lose their wedding or engagement ring in a bizarre plumbing accident… but not many imagine they’ll accidently throw it away.

Well, that’s how Danielle Carroll lost her wedding band.

Carroll, an artist, was taking a painting class in Battery Park in New York City. At the end of class, everyone threw their rags into a plastic garbage bag brought along for the purpose. Carroll says she had been using a ‘slippery hand cleaner’ right before she disposed of her rag, and believes that this is when her wedding ring slipped off her finger unnoticed.

It was actually Carroll’s second wedding ring. Her husband bought her the band with nine diamonds for their tenth anniversary last year, to replace the one she’d already lost.

In the wee hours of the morning, Carroll realized her ring was gone and attempted to sneak out of her apartment to go looking for it without her husband being any the wiser. As it turns out, he woke up and joined her for the search.

When she got to the trash can where she thought the garbage bag had been thrown, though, it turned out sanitation workers had already emptied it out. Undaunted, Carroll spotted a garbage truck nearby with nobody in it. She left a note that read:

‘Hello, I believe my wedding ring is in this truck….please call me to tell me where this truck is going,’

The driver of the truck, Gary Gaddist, called Carroll when he returned and said he would look for the ring.

So Gaddist searched through garbage bags at Randall’s Island until he found the one with Carroll’s ring in it.

Asked why he went the extra mile, he said:

It’s a love thing.

Gary Gaddist, Manolo for the Brides salutes you. You were willing to wade through garbage to help a stranger find her wedding ring. That’s not something you see every day.

So, my dear readers, if any of you ever lose your wedding or engagement ring and think it might have slipped into a garbage can, you know the super sanitation worker to call!

LOVE/HATE: Morning After Photo Sessions


It’s the morning after your wedding. You’ve spent the last few weeks (possibly months) having your entire world turned upside down with parties and racing from appointment to appointment and ever-present cameras documenting your transition from singleton to married bliss. You’ve finally had a few precious hours alone to enjoy one another’s company and nurse your first married hangover… when there comes a knock on the door of the honeymoon suite and you let the photographer in to do the professional shots of your post-nuptial (post coital?) bliss.

Yes, this is apparently something people are now doing. In fact, Refinery 29 has an entire gallery of images couples have had taken the morning after the wedding. The illustration above comes from that gallery. Okay, it’s only four images, but that still counts as a slideshow, and they all appear to come from different shoots.

You know, there was a time when a couple got one photograph of their wedding process. It was a single formal portrait of the happy couple looking stern in their wedding finery. By the time I was old enough to even notice the whole getting married thing, everyone expected to have an album of wedding day photos taken at the Big Event proper. Photos of the bride getting dressed and made up were fairly common well before I tied the knot, and that was where I drew the line. I needed ten minutes to myself that morning and that was the only chance I had to get them.

Frankly I cannot imagine inviting a photographer to come by the next morning, run me through hair, makeup and wardrobe, and then give me directions on how to look rumpled and sated for the cameras.

So yeah, I’m going with HATE on this one. In fact, I’m going with hate with the power of twelve massive supernovas here. That’s how much I HATE this.

Besides, are you really ever going to want anyone who isn’t you to see this? And if so, why? And even if you must do this, why not give yourself a little breather between the wedding and the next TMI photo shoot?

Or am I just a backwards old fart with no clue how special this can be?

Now What Do I Do With It All?


Your wedding is going to be lovely. After all, you’ve worked hard to come up with just the right accessories to carry out your dream theme, picked the perfect flowers, designed a menu that will delight the taste buds of your friends and families, and chosen a spectacular one-of-a-kind gown.

Beautiful.

Elegant.

Meaningful.

But what the holy heck are you going to do with it all once the day is over? After all, you don’t want to be a one-woman ecological disaster in the making, and you don’t want to be wading through masses of wedding detritus come your tenth anniversary, either.

That means you’ll need a plan to store the things you care about keeping and dispose of the things you don’t want anymore responsibly.

As per usual, I have a couple thoughts on the subject.
(more…)

Love Through Rose Colored Goggles

Once upon a time, there were two boys.

Well, maybe not those boys and not quite that long ago.

Still, two boys who met and became good friends. For years they were quite close.

Alas! Over the years they eventually drifted apart. It wasn’t any one thing or on purpose, but it happened nonetheless. Still, they never forgot one another.

Well, a few weeks ago, Mr. Twistie and his childhood friend found one another again on Facebook… and it turned out John was about to get married.

And so it was that yesterday Mr. Twistie and I repaired to the Benicia Clock Tower to attend our first ever steampunk wedding.


(more…)

Five Ways to Reduce Your Wedding’s Carbon Footprint

Once upon a time, if you mentioned an eco-friendly wedding, people tended to think of something like this:

You know, obviously hand-hewn, crunchy granola, unfashionable, and probably reeking of patchouli.

In short, even a lot of people who admired the commitment these couples made to living lightly on Mother Earth wouldn’t be caught dead in a ditch looking – or smelling – like them.

But times have changed. You don’t have to be a card-carrying hippie to care about the environment anymore. and you don’t have to completely reject both tradition and fashion to follow your convictions.
(more…)

Seriously, Bank of America?


(Image via Cheezeburger Network)

When sportswriter Pete Iorizzo recently married, several guests generously gave him and his bride checks as gifts. Ca-ching! Great news! While cold, hard cash is not the most romantic gift possible, it’s certainly a useful one.

Unfortunately, there was a catch when the bride headed down to Bank of America to deposit said checks in their joint checking account: the bank refused to accept the checks.
(more…)

Page 1 of 3123»