On this, the final day of bridesmaids week – hey, it was a five-day business week – I wanted to address a tradition that I know for a fact makes at least some people a little uncomfortable. I know this because I am one of those people. Specifically, I am talking about the tradition of having all of the wedding attendants, bridesmaids and groomsmen, bridesmen and groomsmaids, dance with one another at some point during the whole first dance, father-daughter dance, mother-son dance string of scheduled formal dancing. It’s actually considered a tad passé to ask the attendants to have a go on the dance floor, but you still see it occasionally at some wedding receptions.

Since this tradition seems to be dying out anyway, there’s really no need for me to put it down, I suppose. But just in case there are any otherwise happy bridesmaids out there reading this who are dreading the thought of slow dancing with some friend of the groom they have never seen or sniffed, I thought I’d share my three reasons for not particularly liking the attendants’ dance. As I see it, this old tradition is…

1. Awkward: While I actually wish that there were more opportunities for social dancing that included switching partners in a platonic, fun way, I still think that having to cut a rug with someone you may find icky while 75+ people look on is just plain weird. It’s one thing to dance with an unfamiliar partner – one who may never have heard of Arthur Murray or mouthwash – and quite another to do it on demand while a photographer circles the dance floor. And if you’re a young junior bridesmaid, it’s even weirder.

2. Boring: So now the wedding guests have sat through the first dance, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance, and perhaps the bride and groom also invited their grandparents up for a waltz. Even if you edited your chosen songs down, you’re still potentially talking about a good quarter of an hour’s worth of dancing on display that the guests have to sit through while they wait for the refreshments.

3. Ineffective: If the bride or groom’s goal is to get people to shake their booties, there are easier ways to do it, like hiring a good DJ or leading by example and shaking it themselves. Because, really, I think that wedding guests can sense the awkwardness of the attendants’ dance, and I don’t know anyone particularly inspired by embarrassment.

I’d recommend that any bridesmaids like myself who aren’t keen on dancing with a random groomsman and suspect that the bride is considering an attendants’ dance at the reception suggest letting all of the enrelationshipped attendants dance with their SOs and then, halfway through the dance, inviting other couples to join them for a special slow dance. Or better yet, suggest that the marrying couple not force their wedding guests to sit through one more spotlit dance.

Now I have to ask: Bridesmaids and former bridesmaids, have you ever found yourself on the parquet in the arms of someone just awful because you were obliged to participate in an attendants’ dance?

(Image via BeDazzled Photography)

Two years ago, Offbeat Bride declared that mustaches were hot. That may have been, but the fervor either hasn’t cooled or the trend has come around again or mustaches are just now making their way into the mainstream. Because you know what? I am seeing more and more mustache wedding gear, from the recently posted mustache wedding stationery set to wedding pictures that feature everyone from the bride and groom right on down the line wearing fake ‘staches.

Being that it’s bridesmaids week here at Manolo for the Brides, I had to, of course, find a snap of bridesmaids sporting the mustache look. (And now, of course, I can’t find the photo source so if anyone happens to know, speak up.) I personally am pretty cool when it comes to being silly – act my shoe size? No prob! – and I love the idea of asking people to participate in zany reception activities. But I know plenty of people out there endeavor to be way more dignified in their daily lives than yours truly. So I want to hear from bridesmaids: Should brides and grooms take those folks into account when they ask their attendants to play dress up in the wedding pics? Or since bridesmaids and groomsmen technically have the right to say nay, is it okay to require that props be used in the photos?

Brides can ask a lot from their bridesmaids. Not all brides, of course, but some do expect their bridesmaids to enthusiastically assemble favor boxes, address envelopes, fly to Vegas, and so forth. And most brides do expect their bridesmaids to at least buy matching or coordinating dresses, though there are a unique few who ask for nothing more than a LBD, preferably one that’s already in the bridesmaids’ closets. So what I’m wondering today, on this, the third day of bridesmaids’ week, is how much is too much when it comes to brides asking bridesmaids to put time, effort, and money into their wedding day ensemble? Is it okay, for example, for brides to:

Ask their bridesmaids to buy matching shoes?

How about adding the expense of matching jewelry on top of the dress and the shoes?

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Bridesmaids can get the shaft here are Manolo for the Brides on occasion, simply because there are so many other things to talk about, from the wedding dress (of course) to the linens to wedding favors, aisle runners, whether or not to have a reception photo booth, and so on. But we love our bridesmaidy readers as much as we love our brides! Sure, we may direct a lot of what we say to the bride herself, but only because she is usually the one with the final say when it comes to bridesmaids dresses and accessories. Easygoing brides may let their ladies loose on the shops with a color in mind or wear something they already own, but that style of wedding planning isn’t the norm. With that in mind, I thought it would be fun to, for one week only, speak directly to bridesmaids. Welcome to Bridesmaids Week!

The first topic I wanted to address is the true re-wearability of bridesmaids’ dresses. To start, I created a little poll because I know that a lot of you out there, while not bridesmaids at the moment, have been bridesmaids in the past and may take on that role again in the future. In my case, I’ve had two bridesmaids’ dresses that I’ve worn again. One was a blue satin number created for me when I was just a girl by my grandmother, and I sure did have fun finding opportunities to put it on after the wedding, even if I was just wearing it to dance around my house. The second was a purple dress that I still own chosen by yours truly to wear in the wedding of one of those aforementioned easygoing brides. It’s a great dress, and it looked boss in the photos (maybe I can find one to scan). Now it’s your turn:

When it came time for me to direct my own bridesmaids toward dress choices, I tried to be a semi-easygoing bride by asking them to simply choose any non-strapless brown, mocha, chocolate, or espresso dress from Aria because I thought that would give them the best chance of being able to wear their dresses again. You know, because they’d like their choices. *sigh* In the end, one got something from David’s and one bought something from who knows where that looked more like a prom dress than something for a bridesmaid. I have no idea if either of them has re-worn her dress, and I really don’t want to know. Moving on…

What does re-wearability really mean when it comes to bridesmaids dresses? Since so many of the bargain frocks are made from bleah materials that are almost always only appropriate for weddings, does it mean wearing the dress in another wedding? To a fancy event? And how many of us honestly can say that we have somewhere to wear a full-length silk shantung column gown? Because I certainly don’t! What I’d love to hear about is bridesmaids dress hacks – have any of you shortened or dyed old bridesmaids dresses? Or used them as costumes? That could be one way to re-wear a bridesmaids dress!

Pets as wedding attendants is nothing new, but I have to share this video of a four-footed ring bearer who executes her roll with great skill and dignity. Well, except for tongue kissing the groom!

I’m loving this answer from Abigail Van Buren – also known as Jeanne Phillips, also also known as Dear Abby – in response to a bride-to-be who asked her maid of honor to un-dye her hair for the wedding because the MOH’s chosen hue doesn’t match her wedding color scheme.

When you picked your best friend of 19 years to stand up with you at your wedding, you knew what she looked like. Either you should have picked another color scheme for the production, or chosen a cast member who was suitably mousy that she wouldn’t dim your spotlight. Please note that I am using theatrical terms because you have lost sight of what a wedding really should be. What a shame.

When are certain brides-to-be (none of you darlings, natch) going to learn that they can’t control every aspect of their weddings? To me, the whole bridezilla phenomenon is all about control, but there are just some things that are best left up to chance. Botoxing bridesmaids? Bridesmaid contracts? Dye jobs that must coordinate with the wedding colors? Ick.

Brides-to-be should remember that their ‘maids will still look like themselves on the big day, so those who would prefer to keep their bridal parties wrinkle, crazy hair-, BBW-, pregnancy-, or whatever-free should choose accordingly. And then remember that people can change in an instant. Brides-to-be bothered by that might do better off skipping the attendants altogether.

The awesome Ann wrote with this simple request:

How can I find a ring bearer pillow that has a matching neck tie for the ring bearer?

Oh, you’d think it would be so easy, wouldn’t you. What could be cuter than a sweet petit ring bearer with a little ring pillow that coordinates perfectly with his itty-bitty necktie? Unfortunately, it seems that most people are more concerned with matching the ring pillow and the flower girl basket or the bride’s wedding dress or some other accessory associated with the ceremony. Ah, well… all that means is that your options aren’t as limitless as they are in most areas of wedding planning.

Luckily, Tonia Allen of Me and Matilda is out there filling the gap where ring pillows with matching ties are concerned! She creates unique, well-made, and affordable accessories for ladies and gents using durable, washable cotton (along with silk, satin, linen, microfiber, and more) in awesome prints, and her specialties include matching sets for ring bearers! Allen will even work with fabric of your choosing to make a custom set, but here’s a sampling of what’s currently for sale:

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