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Speechifying 101a for the Best Man


Whether your wedding reception is held in a church hall, hotel, or a backyard, whether you toss the bouquet and cut the cake or not, whether you’re in formalwear or bathing suits, one tradition is bound to be followed: the best man’s speech.

Of course, not every best man is used to public speaking. Or best woman. We’re not fussy about the gender of the bridal party around here. But no matter who’s filling the role, there are a few tips that will make making that speech easier for the speaker and nicer for the listeners, too.
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Don’t Tase Me, Bro: The nuptial edition

Not one, but TWO (!!!) instances of nuptial tasing were recently brought to my attention. The first involves a Californian groom who was tased by police after adopting a “fighting stance” when police were called in to investigate a too-loud reception. The second…well, see for yourself.

Better at least than tar and feathers. Oil is easier to clean up!

Last I heard, bachelor parties involved great quantities of booze with slightly smaller quantities of boobs. A group of men in Knox County, Maine apparently thought the usual pre-wedding rituals were simply too ho-hum, and decided to switch things up a bit. Lucky for us, they videotaped the entire extravaganza!

Unfortunately there’s no way to embed the vid here, so you’ll have to follow the link. I can, however, sum up the party for you: The groom-to-be was tased, handcuffed, tied him up with duct tape, oiled and feathered, and paraded through downtown strapped to a lawn chair.

I cringed watching the antics of what are supposedly grown men–though I have my doubts–and hope you cringe, too. Getting tased is no laughing matter, and yet the entirety of the video is full of the yuck-yuck-yucking of the groom-to-be’s buddies. It’s hard to tell whether the feathered fella is perhaps a Jackass fan and thus into it, but he does seem pretty unsteady on his feet after getting zapped. I vote that he find a new group of friends, stat, and I frankly pity the poor bride-to-be.

(Looking for the Manolo for the Brides Sweepstakes? Here it is!)